So....... when I first posted on here I was a depressed lunatic. Glad to say things have changed drastically. I’ve graduated and decided against grad school, and no longer go out my way to make my critical-never-pleased mother happy which has given me great peace. Immediately after graduation I should have been ecstatic, but moved back home to my lunatic mother who treated me like garbage and a bum because I couldn’t get a job immediately. She’d literally yell “get a job!” at me…like that was motivating 
. I was in the house all day just applying to jobs. Not to please her but to get the hell away from her because she made it miserable to be home! That’s around the time I disappeared from this forum. I was deeply depressed. I seriously saw no reason in living. I **** near drove my car off the highway. But with support from my best friend who lives in my town I got through it.
I’m working two jobs now. One in retail, the other in childcare. The hours suck MAJORLY! 2 jobs and I average 25 hours a week barely. I won’t even go into the pay (yup thats what a 4yr degree and a mountain of debt got me). But the bright side is I’m out of the house finally and feeling productive. In the meantime I haven’t stopped putting in applications for full time positions. Additionally, I even made a friend! Actually, two friends! Like real hang-out-outside-of-work-friends! We go to happy hours and bars on the weekends. I go out and talk to people and exchange numbers. I even smoked pot for the first time with them!!!! (shhh don’t tell) LOL. They’ve really brought me out of my shell and I’m starting to feel like more of an adult. Like I’m normal and not this socially awkward freak I thought I was. But now I don’t think that was who I ever was. I believe it was all about my circumstances. The last couple of years I was in a very geographically isolated place with generally one type of person. That type of person was someone who someone like me wouldn’t get along with no matter how hard I tried-and I did try.
I went two years lonely. Just in my room, depressed, studying, eating, and wasting my college years away. Here I am thinking something was majorly wrong with me but then I get out of that environment and back around some like-minded people and boom! Friends again. I’ve even been talking to guys. No serious prospects but its nice to know I’m not actually an ogre named Shrek. I’ve even attempted to pass down my newfound social life to my more introverted BFF and she seems to be having a great time too. Its pretty wild how once I gave up the idea of making another friend in this lifetime the universe just threw some my way.
I’ve made some decisions about what I’m going to do next. As I stated before, I’m not going to grad school…anytime soon, if at all. I simply lack the finances and passion. So instead I’m going to be a teacher. I’m going for my teaching license in January. And by August of next year I’ll be a full fledge full time teacher, which is so exciting to me. I’m going to be a special ed teacher. By then I’ll definitely be moving out of my parents place and moving into a great place downtown (but I got my fingers crossed I’ll get a full time job before then and be able to move out earlier). My birthday is in November and I’m pretty optimist about the next year of my life. I’ve had a very hard life but with persistence and faith and I believe that things change. So yay!
. I was in the house all day just applying to jobs. Not to please her but to get the hell away from her because she made it miserable to be home! That’s around the time I disappeared from this forum. I was deeply depressed. I seriously saw no reason in living. I **** near drove my car off the highway. But with support from my best friend who lives in my town I got through it.I’m working two jobs now. One in retail, the other in childcare. The hours suck MAJORLY! 2 jobs and I average 25 hours a week barely. I won’t even go into the pay (yup thats what a 4yr degree and a mountain of debt got me). But the bright side is I’m out of the house finally and feeling productive. In the meantime I haven’t stopped putting in applications for full time positions. Additionally, I even made a friend! Actually, two friends! Like real hang-out-outside-of-work-friends! We go to happy hours and bars on the weekends. I go out and talk to people and exchange numbers. I even smoked pot for the first time with them!!!! (shhh don’t tell) LOL. They’ve really brought me out of my shell and I’m starting to feel like more of an adult. Like I’m normal and not this socially awkward freak I thought I was. But now I don’t think that was who I ever was. I believe it was all about my circumstances. The last couple of years I was in a very geographically isolated place with generally one type of person. That type of person was someone who someone like me wouldn’t get along with no matter how hard I tried-and I did try.
I went two years lonely. Just in my room, depressed, studying, eating, and wasting my college years away. Here I am thinking something was majorly wrong with me but then I get out of that environment and back around some like-minded people and boom! Friends again. I’ve even been talking to guys. No serious prospects but its nice to know I’m not actually an ogre named Shrek. I’ve even attempted to pass down my newfound social life to my more introverted BFF and she seems to be having a great time too. Its pretty wild how once I gave up the idea of making another friend in this lifetime the universe just threw some my way.
I’ve made some decisions about what I’m going to do next. As I stated before, I’m not going to grad school…anytime soon, if at all. I simply lack the finances and passion. So instead I’m going to be a teacher. I’m going for my teaching license in January. And by August of next year I’ll be a full fledge full time teacher, which is so exciting to me. I’m going to be a special ed teacher. By then I’ll definitely be moving out of my parents place and moving into a great place downtown (but I got my fingers crossed I’ll get a full time job before then and be able to move out earlier). My birthday is in November and I’m pretty optimist about the next year of my life. I’ve had a very hard life but with persistence and faith and I believe that things change. So yay!
