Can you express yourself easily?

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silversurfer

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I usually find it very difficult to express my thoughts. I struggle to find words and if I do people take the wrong meaning of it. Sometimes I don't realize that I am being rude or hurting people, and when I do, I feel guilty and bad about it.

So to avoid all this I just ignore people all together and prefer not talking to them. But that doesn;t solve the problem but makes it even worse. Cause then people start complaining about your attitude. They think you consider yourself some kind of king or something who thinks really high of himself and doesn't talk to people.

I just don't know what to do. I want to be a normal person and live a normal life. Is it possible? If yes then how? :(
 
Sometimes I also find it difficult to express my thoughts too, I understand what I want to say but it's almost like I can't organize it all into understandable chunks. Though for you it seems like your communication may be misleading, maybe you should try working on that; avoidance coping always works initially but it's no good in the long run.
 
9006 said:
Sometimes I also find it difficult to express my thoughts too, I understand what I want to say but it's almost like I can't organize it all into understandable chunks. Though for you it seems like your communication may be misleading, maybe you should try working on that; avoidance coping always works initially but it's no good in the long run.

To tell you the truth I typed response to your reply two times but closed the tab. This is so pathetic that I can't decide what to say.
:club:

I think I need some professional help. lols
 
I talk too much here because I don't at all in real life. I'm a quiet person and a good listener in person.

I wouldn't stop talking to people here or anywhere else or worry about being misconstrued so much that it would stop me from trying. I piss people off all the time here accidentally and then try to explain my way out of it. If I can't, I shake my head and move on. It's like oh well, I know I mean well and if someone chooses to believe what they want despite me trying to correct it I feel it's their deal not mine. It's very difficult to convey proper emotion behind typed words because there is no emotional tone of voice for people to judge how it's meant to be taken. In the real world, you have a choice on how you deal with it. You can explain on the spot and change your demeanor to reflect what you really meant by it. And thus head off the hurt feelings right then and there.
 
ForGrantedWife said:
I talk too much here because I don't at all in real life. I'm a quiet person and a good listener in person.

I wouldn't stop talking to people here or anywhere else or worry about being misconstrued so much that it would stop me from trying. I piss people off all the time here accidentally and then try to explain my way out of it. If I can't, I shake my head and move on. It's like oh well, I know I mean well and if someone chooses to believe what they want despite me trying to correct it I feel it's their deal not mine. It's very difficult to convey proper emotion behind typed words because there is no emotional tone of voice for people to judge how it's meant to be taken. In the real world, you have a choice on how you deal with it. You can explain on the spot and change your demeanor to reflect what you really meant by it. And thus head off the hurt feelings right then and there.
@bold
God that is the most difficult part for me.

But I think it is not just about miscommunication, I think I just lack the basic antiquate when it comes to talking to people. Guess I just don't feel affectionate towards people or care about their feelings. At least thats what people (almost everyone) always complain to me.
 
Is it true that you don't care about their feelings or are they wrong about that? Try to be honest with yourself.
 
ForGrantedWife said:
Is it true that you don't care about their feelings or are they wrong about that? Try to be honest with yourself.

If everyone in my life complains about it then it must be true.
 
Nope, not true at all. They can't see what's really inside you-only you can do that and answer honestly.
 
ForGrantedWife said:
Nope, not true at all. They can't see what's really inside you-only you can do that and answer honestly.

I think I do care about peoples feelings but don't know how to make them aware of it.
 
A quick response to someone looking hurt or angry to settle it would do just fine :) A "Hey don't take it that way, I didn't mean what you think I meant. I'm just not good at getting my point across clearly." would suffice. And a gentle smile helps soothe feelings too when you say something.

silversurfer said:
ForGrantedWife said:
Nope, not true at all. They can't see what's really inside you-only you can do that and answer honestly.

I think I do care about peoples feelings but don't know how to make them aware of it.
 
We had NO idea about that, Toothpaste Jackhammer. You can stop being adorable any time now cause we know it already :)
 
I'm a very expressive person, but when I first meet someone I'm a very shy person and it takes awhile for me to warm up to them. Once I get to know them better, I'm very very expressive. =)
 
ForGrantedWife said:
We had NO idea about that, Toothpaste Jackhammer. You can stop being adorable any time now cause we know it already

I honestly wouldn't go around attaching the word "adorable" to me if I were you.

It might give people the wrong idea about me. :cool:
 
Yes I express myself easily , but the masses don't want to hear that.

We live in a world were almost all live behind a facade and only communicate in small talk and think everyone else is doing the same. People that don't have a facade, or speak of real issues that make the brain actually fire , or understand being in the biggest accepted groups isn't that overall healthy to their own individuality just frighten them.

All they want is conformity. Ignorance is bliss. They believe they have empathy but in reality are far from empathetic , they see life through only set set of glasses , heck why have another view when you know everyone else is thinking the same way.



If everyone was supposed to through life driving down the middle of the road and never thinking about the sides , why do we put lines on the middle of the road and say it's bad to drive there.
 
StarvingZombie said:
If everyone was supposed to through life driving down the middle of the road and never thinking about the sides , why do we put lines on the middle of the road and say it's bad to drive there.

Mankind invented alcohol precisely so we could escape the control of that absurd dividing line.
 
silversurfer said:
I usually find it very difficult to express my thoughts. I struggle to find words and if I do people take the wrong meaning of it. Sometimes I don't realize that I am being rude or hurting people, and when I do, I feel guilty and bad about it.

So to avoid all this I just ignore people all together and prefer not talking to them. But that doesn;t solve the problem but makes it even worse. Cause then people start complaining about your attitude. They think you consider yourself some kind of king or something who thinks really high of himself and doesn't talk to people.

I just don't know what to do. I want to be a normal person and live a normal life. Is it possible? If yes then how? :(

No I can talk about anything to anybody when I feel like it.
I prefer my own company most of the time though.
 
ForGrantedWife said:
A quick response to someone looking hurt or angry to settle it would do just fine :) A "Hey don't take it that way, I didn't mean what you think I meant. I'm just not good at getting my point across clearly." would suffice. And a gentle smile helps soothe feelings too when you say something.

Yes that can be done rather than wait and let the time do the healing.

WallflowerGirl83 said:
I'm a very expressive person, but when I first meet someone I'm a very shy person and it takes awhile for me to warm up to them. Once I get to know them better, I'm very very expressive. =)


I don't open up to people even after I spend a lot of time with them.


StarvingZombie said:
They believe they have empathy but in reality are far from empathetic , they see life through only set set of glasses

This is the reason why sometimes I think that problem is not with me but with people. People just fail to see the world with someone elses view point.

@Badjedidude

I agree with your signature, People are quick to judge without understanding what others must have gone thru in life.

Triple Bogey said:
No I can talk about anything to anybody when I feel like it.
I prefer my own company most of the time though.

If I can talk about anything to anybody I would never stay in my own company. :rolleyes:
 
silversurfer said:
@Badjedidude

I agree with your signature, People are quick to judge without understanding what others must have gone thru in life.

I think you missed the point of that quote in my signature. :D
 

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