Hi everybody, I'm Jack and I'm an alcohol... oh sorry, wrong forum :)

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F

Father Jack

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Just kidding about the title.

Well, I had a normal childhood; a small but close family with not many relatives. I had friends but was introverted, I remember I often used to go to the library to lend books. I didn‘t like sports and ironically my longest friend (out of the two I have today) is a sport fanatic.

And because I am an introvert (or so I think) I used to be a wallflower in school; and am still to this day. I‘m in college and have been for longer that I wish to know, as my studies should have ended a few years ago (I think I may have adhd or something similar); but if everything goes to plan then I should graduate a year from now.

And for almost all my life I never knew about flirting signals; which is why I totally realied on girls doing everything from the initiating the conversation to having sex. When I went out with my friends this is what I relied on, and when it didn‘t happen I thought it was because the more self-confident girls weren‘t out that night.

Little did I know that I missed so many opportunities. And sadly, I‘m still missing those opportunities today – even though I know all about flirting signals.

And that is why, I think, the main reason why I registered.

I suck at human interaction – I really prefer being by myself (my best friend knows about me being an introvert and jokes about it, in a good way; he‘s also somewhat of an introvert). My other friend has held four parties now from the middle of august until the middle of october, and it has really sucked out all energy from me. Even though they were small parties with not a lot of people, it‘s still very draining for me.

But to the matter at hand: ever since I knew about the flirting signals I‘ve only been able to approach three girls (and since I‘m an introvert and haven‘t gone clubbing now for a number of years – those activies are behind me; all my three approaches have happened in my college), only because the first two displayed huge amounts of signals and I had an intution that they had feelings for me, the first one more so than the second one. The first beamed with joy when I opened my mouth to speak to her, despite it being a short conversation. She didn‘t want the conversation to end and was smiling the whole time. The second one had a look of disbelieve when I approached her and talked to her and mimicked my movements – which is the first and only time I‘ve ever seen that.

The third one is a girl I approached because she displayed huge amounts of signals, when she was with her female friends, even had one of them walk behind her so the friend could see if I was checking her out. I had seen the girl before, but alone and she never showed any signs. And when I approached her she became very nervous and the interaction was very, very short.

I always study in the same study hall, and I spoke to the last girl last semester. I saw her this semester now about two days ago, as she walked into the study hall, talked to some girl there and as I noticed she was about to leave again (I sit near the exit), that‘s when I stood up and left for the cafeteria; as I couldn‘t handle talking to her again. Why I don‘t know. She‘s cute and seemed nice.

And then there are girls that I see signals from, but I can‘t for the life of me approach them ...and I even have a rock solid opener, and I just can‘t do it. It‘s annoying because there‘s one girl in my college that I desperately want to get to know (I‘ve never felt so attracted to a girl in my life) and ..well, I don‘t think I can do that.

I would tell more of my life story and what is bugging me, but I‘ve written too long of a text. But when I was younger, I wasn‘t used to approach girls first and thus some became bold and did it. But the sad thing is that almost all of them wanted too much, way too soon. And I got badly burnt by that.

I don‘t know why, but I can‘t get past that.
 
Welcome to the forum

Next time, don't get up and leave. Stay in your seat and she if she stops to talk or say hi.
 
Sci-Fi said:
Welcome to the forum

Next time, don't get up and leave. Stay in your seat and she if she stops to talk or say hi.

Thanks for your comment man.

But, like almost all girls, she's shy. I even venture so far as to guess that she's incredibly shy, because she didn't give me any indication that she had any interest in me when she was alone.

I'm pretty sure that if I had managed to stay in my seat I couldn't have mustered up the courage to even say "Hi" myself when she would have passed by. And I would have had to come up with some question or a remark on the spot to stop her from passing me by and staying and talking to me a litte since girls want guys to also initiate the next conversation. So I'm pretty sure she wouldn't even have said "Hi" to me nor stopped to talk.

But I don't get why I'm the huge p**** that I am. I can't for the life of me approach girls, that I'm not even interested in, despite I see that they are interested in getting to know me. The first two girls I approached because my conscience was eating me up; and the third and last one was approached by me because of a surprise spike in my fake confidence; I'm still somewhat surprised that I could approach her in front of her two female friends; I even remember that I thought to myself "Come on Jack, are you a man or a mouse?!" and the approach could have gone better if I had extensive experience in approaching, as well as being good in keep a conversation going and relaxing a nervous girl.

Somehow that confidence is gone. I can go days without speaking to anyone in my college (and often have); I don't speak up in classes (never have) and am incredibly shy but can turn on the charm if need be.

I've never been depressed about anything in my life before - but not being able to approach girls now, somehow, really depresses me. And sadly I can't figure out why I can't (minus the fact that I'll probably really, really regret it when I'm fifty and alone)
 
It seems more and more people are like that, with the explosion of online dating and social networking we forget the more classic way of interacting with each other, in person. Seems like we are losing that all important skill of actually socializing with someone face to face. I think the powers that be should implement "how to socialize in public" in our schools. We get all kinds of knowledge to help us get a job but not really how to live in the real world and being able to socialize with people is just as important.
 

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