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Hi, all (again, for the third time). my exgf story.
#1
Hiya peeps, I havent logged onto this site for maybe two years now. I have been on this site since 2007. So much has happened since then. it got really crazy. I was active for about two years. then stopped logging on for another two years.

I met someone right before summer of this year. she was beautiful, funny, quirky, cultured. We practically lived together. going to bed everynight together.wake up together, go out together, study together... we spent every minute together. it was perfect. She was my first real girlfriend, who loved me back as much as I loved her. We were both clingy. sometimes I dropped her off at her dorm, only to have her call me and ask me to pick her up to my apartment. This became a big issue at the end of our relationship.

As summer ended and school started, she started to change. Right before school started, she told me that she will only see me after school, and didn't want to spend as much time with me as she did back in summer. 2nd day of school, she decided to break up with me over text. She ignored all my calls, until the next day, we talked. She wanted space between me and her. She was saying I was too clingy. So I tried really hard giving her space. only text/call during the week and weekend she would stay over at my apartment.

So, she was satisfied, or so I thought. She says she missed me and loves me and all that. Everything was going great. on wednesday, I bought her dinner and we all had a good time. Throughout the week, I texted and called her, that was it. THEN, ON SATURDAY, I wanted to see her, so she said we could walk to the store. after the walk, she broke up with me... just like that. I was so heartbroken. I thought everything was going fine. turns out she wasn't happy with me because I was too clingy and wanted to spend time with her...I only wanted to spend time twice a week. is that too much to ask?

Now I'm faced with a self-esttem issue. Am I broken as a boyfriend now? Was I wrong in that I wanted to spend some time with her? Why did she decided to break up with me all of a sudden? I'm so heartbroken about this because I thought we loved each other... she said so much stuff. I warned her in the beginning of the relationship that she is much younger, and that she might get sick of me... but she denied it and said that we will grow old together, and all that BS.

halloween is coming up, I'm getting more depressed each day because I have no one to spend time with. everyone is going out with their significant others except me. I have just moved to another state this year, and it's kinda hard to make friends when you live off campus.

thanks for reading.

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#2
Welcome back Sigh, sorry this has happened to you, but i can only attribute it to any of the following 3 reasons:
1. She had her fun in the summer, but when school started her priorities changes, and in her eyes you were not one.
2. She felt she wanted time for herself to the point that even 2 meetings a week seemed a lot to her.
3. She found someone else while in a relationship with you, and wanted to break up with you gradually (i know you don't want to hear that, but it does happen a lot.)
All in all, there is no point in being in a one-sided relationship, because as you have already mentioned, you only suffered from it and you would continue to suffer as long as the relationship lasted, so in a way i would say be glad that it's over. You may hurt now but hey, in the long run it may have been for good, as you are now open to new possibilities that may just make you happier. Wink
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#3
I'm in a similar situation. I was in a two year long, long distance relationship. I had just gotten back from visiting her, then two weeks after she left me. The reasons still aren't clear to me, but it was basically she was doing it for my own good. She was ultimately toxic for me, I recognized it, but refused to act on it, because I just cared too much. I loved making her happy, and she even said "You couldn't have done anything better, it was incredible". But hey, there were aspects of it that were genuinely unhealthy for me. I initially had the same questions as you, of "What's wrong with ME?" "Am I just broken?". Because when you do everything right, and don't do bad things, bad things aren't supposed to happen to you, right? Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. However, all it means is that things will eventually heal, and get better, and you'll meet somebody who values you more, and will WANT to spend more time with you. A relationship is A LOT of work, and it's something that you both have to be committed to, you know? It sounds like she just wasn't as dedicated to it as you were. Which sucks, I know man, it really REALLY does. Ultimately though, I think it saved you a lot of heartache and trouble down the road. I don't want to sound jaded, but I'd rather see it end after two months, than two years.

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#4
(10-23-2013, 07:05 PM)Seeker Wrote: 3. She found someone else while in a relationship with you, and wanted to break up with you gradually (i know you don't want to hear that, but it does happen a lot.)

I don't think, even if it does happen a lot, that there's any reason to speculate that. People just as often find a new job or semester at school (such as this couple has) is too taxing to also maintain an emotional connection. But that she found someone better/else is just one
such possibility of many that she would let him go.
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#5
Quote:1. She had her fun in the summer, but when school started her priorities changes, and in her eyes you were not one.

yes this is what i think as well!
“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.”

"I can't hold on to me...
Wonder what's wrong with me"


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