Will everything get changed in a university ?

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Bebeskii

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Personally I hate being a high school student. My high school years are very shitty and lonely. I just gotta endure only one more year. After i get my A-level exam grades, I will apply to Australian and British universities. I hope I would find my miracle friend to fulfill my emptiness. I hope I would have lots of unforgettable fun that I craved and lacked the most in my high school. I hope there would be an allowance to be different and people would love and value me as the way i am. Living in a poor country with worst infrastructure is pretty sad and Mongolians are obdurate. I hope new culture, new atmosphere and new people would be more welcoming than in Mongolia. Getting into a university is just a beginning of my life- I think :D.
If you're in a university or already graduated a university, Can you PLEASE share your experience?
 
I have had the exact problem that you had in high school, only 1 friend and a lot of bashing and finger-pointing towards me, even a bit of bullying sometimes. Then I went to university, and, oh how different was it! I made many friends, most of whom i still have today, found a girl i ended spending 2 years together with and finally felt accepted and content.

My point is, yes, university kinda offers you a chance at a new beginning, especially if no one knows of your past there, and it really is something to look forward to as you bear high-school troubles. I think a big reason of it being so different is that people are older there, so they are mature enough to at least not bully fellow students. My advise on the matter would be to take a positive outlook when starting university, start by talking to people sitting next to you, then move on to other people you see often in classes, and before you know it your social circle will begin to grow. Once you leave high school, throw all your current emotional burden behind you, because a new, better life probably awaits you at university. ;)
 
I attend a community college, not a university. So I can't say for sure. But for me personally, it hasn't changed. I still find myself very lonely and wanting more friends. People seem to have this perspective that everything will change for the better once you hit college. I'm not trying to be a downer at all, I just don't find this to be true.
 
If you hate high school, then most probably you will be very happy once at university - also going abroad for the first time can change your life pretty drastically - remember that if you go abroad the first 6 months can be REALLY lonely, but it depends. Anyway, if you pull through, your life might improve.
 
Pike Queen said:
I attend a community college, not a university. So I can't say for sure. But for me personally, it hasn't changed. I still find myself very lonely and wanting more friends. People seem to have this perspective that everything will change for the better once you hit college. I'm not trying to be a downer at all, I just don't find this to be true.

That's okay. Thanks. When you believe you'll find true friends someday.


Seeker said:
I have had the exact problem that you had in high school, only 1 friend and a lot of bashing and finger-pointing towards me, even a bit of bullying sometimes. Then I went to university, and, oh how different was it! I made many friends, most of whom i still have today, found a girl i ended spending 2 years together with and finally felt accepted and content.

My point is, yes, university kinda offers you a chance at a new beginning, especially if no one knows of your past there, and it really is something to look forward to as you bear high-school troubles. I think a big reason of it being so different is that people are older there, so they are mature enough to at least not bully fellow students. My advise on the matter would be to take a positive outlook when starting university, start by talking to people sitting next to you, then move on to other people you see often in classes, and before you know it your social circle will begin to grow. Once you leave high school, throw all your current emotional burden behind you, because a new, better life probably awaits you at university. ;)

Wow. That's exactly what i thought. Thank you for words of inspiration.


Peaches said:
If you hate high school, then most probably you will be very happy once at university - also going abroad for the first time can change your life pretty drastically - remember that if you go abroad the first 6 months can be REALLY lonely, but it depends. Anyway, if you pull through, your life might improve.
I read an article about freshman students having loneliness from IELTS reading passage. I'll try to approach as many people as i can. And keep communications with them.
 
Bebeskii said:
Personally I hate being a high school student. My high school years are very shitty and lonely. I just gotta endure only one more year. After i get my A-level exam grades, I will apply to Australian and British universities. I hope I would find my miracle friend to fulfill my emptiness. I hope I would have lots of unforgettable fun that I craved and lacked the most in my high school. I hope there would be an allowance to be different and people would love and value me as the way i am. Living in a poor country with worst infrastructure is pretty sad and Mongolians are obdurate. I hope new culture, new atmosphere and new people would be more welcoming than in Mongolia. Getting into a university is just a beginning of my life- I think :D.
If you're in a university or already graduated a university, Can you PLEASE share your experience?

I think your experience is what you make it to be. If things don't turn out the way you want them to? Then find other ways to make it so. You have choices, you decide what makes your experience fun and fruitful. Of course you should also always keep in mind that your priority is still to complete your studies.. so finding a balance between everything as much as you can is key.

You'll definitely meet new people and make new friends if you're willing to put effort out in talking to people.

You'll be fine. You sound like you're ready for this. Good luck. :)
 
Although I think that starting university may bring a great change as in Seeker's case, it's better not to take it for granted. My personal experience is similar to Pike Queen's; first years were rather rough and I often felt lonely.

Moving to study to another country is a great step :) I wish you all the luck with applications!
 
High school was horrible for me and going to university was a big, big change for the better. All the freshman were newcomers and that was an equalizer. However, a person's bad habits can be brought along with him or her too. University is going to be what you make of it.

Don't get behind in your classwork.
Choose your friends, don't have them choose you.
Have some fun when your schoolwork is under control.
Pick a realistic course of study that's right for you....one that leads to employment.
Make connections with people that will last a lifetime.
Have some fun.
And don't get caught by the booze bottle or recreational drugs!
While you're there, take the opportunity to enroll in some culturally enriching elective courses. University may be the best opportunity you'll have for that.
Check and see if your uni has a psychological counseling center. If there is one, it's probably a crisis intervention center primarily, however if there's group therapy offered, you can likely join a group and stay as long as you like. Do that! If you're fond of a forum like this, you'll probably get hooked on therapy.
 
constant stranger said:
High school was horrible for me and going to university was a big, big change for the better. All the freshman were newcomers and that was an equalizer. However, a person's bad habits can be brought along with him or her too. University is going to be what you make of it.

Don't get behind in your classwork.
Choose your friends, don't have them choose you.
Have some fun when your schoolwork is under control.
Pick a realistic course of study that's right for you....one that leads to employment.
Make connections with people that will last a lifetime.
Have some fun.
And don't get caught by the booze bottle or recreational drugs!
While you're there, take the opportunity to enroll in some culturally enriching elective courses. University may be the best opportunity you'll have for that.
Check and see if your uni has a psychological counseling center. If there is one, it's probably a crisis intervention center primarily, however if there's group therapy offered, you can likely join a group and stay as long as you like. Do that! If you're fond of a forum like this, you'll probably get hooked on therapy.

Thank you so much for great advice. It means a lot to me. :)


silver birch leaves said:
Although I think that starting university may bring a great change as in Seeker's case, it's better not to take it for granted. My personal experience is similar to Pike Queen's; first years were rather rough and I often felt lonely.

Moving to study to another country is a great step :) I wish you all the luck with applications!

Thank you.
 
I think one big difference between high school and university (at least where I'm from) is that for the most part, in high school you have to be there, but in university you choose to be there.
People in university are a lot more independent and also a lot more mature than they were in high school (well they are older now after all), and also there are a wide range of ages at a university, its not just younger peoples there, sometimes you will see older folks in your classes, and thats great!
Where I'm from, the university is a place with a lot more diversity in people. People on average are going to be more intelligent there, and typically the more intelligent people are, the more weird, socially aloof and awkward, ect. they are.
My experience going to university was a huge difference as opposed to high school. HS I hated, U I liked quite a bit. But I didn't just go to university right out of HS, it was a few years until I got in there.
I've done 2 degrees at one university, and now I work at another. So I've been around them for about 15 years now. Personally I love the place and can't see anywhere else I'd rather be. Even though I do still spend a lot of time alone there, it don't seem to be such an issue and I just like the atmosphere of the place.
 
msbxa said:
I think one big difference between high school and university (at least where I'm from) is that for the most part, in high school you have to be there, but in university you choose to be there.
People in university are a lot more independent and also a lot more mature than they were in high school (well they are older now after all), and also there are a wide range of ages at a university, its not just younger peoples there, sometimes you will see older folks in your classes, and thats great!
Where I'm from, the university is a place with a lot more diversity in people. People on average are going to be more intelligent there, and typically the more intelligent people are, the more weird, socially aloof and awkward, ect. they are.
My experience going to university was a huge difference as opposed to high school. HS I hated, U I liked quite a bit. But I didn't just go to university right out of HS, it was a few years until I got in there.
I've done 2 degrees at one university, and now I work at another. So I've been around them for about 15 years now. Personally I love the place and can't see anywhere else I'd rather be. Even though I do still spend a lot of time alone there, it don't seem to be such an issue and I just like the atmosphere of the place.

That's nice to hear.
 
University has been a huge disappointment for me. If you are hoping for people to be more intellectual, then forget it. They will fetishize intellectualism, but that is all style. Most still don't give a honeysuckle.
 
I was almost as lonely and frustrated in college as I was in high school. Things didn't change that much for me. I tried to join a fraternity but that didn't work out for me that well. At least I graduated. My social life or should I say lack thereof still sucked though. If you want a social life but don't know anyone going in you're going to have to go out of your way to meet people. Joining clubs is a good start.
 
Depends on each individual scenario. Don't hope for too much, the come down can be brutal.
 
It is okay. I'm ready to face any difficulties. I decided to concentrate more on my career and make much effort on my studying.
 
It might not be a bad idea to try to get a part time job also.

Also, I do think it's important to try to have some kind of social life in college(the key word here is try).
 
Mike413 said:
It might not be a bad idea to try to get a part time job also.

Also, I do think it's important to try to have some kind of social life in college(the key word here is try).

Okay buddy thanks .I will definitely get a part-time job to earn some money. I will try to be more socially active.
 
cicerolion said:
University has been a huge disappointment for me. If you are hoping for people to be more intellectual, then forget it. They will fetishize intellectualism, but that is all style. Most still don't give a honeysuckle.

That is true, and there are a of people that are fakers, and those that try to pretend they are smart but really are not, but there are also some real genuine cases there.
However, people that really are intelligent are not usually very social.
 

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