fixing long broken friendship?

Have you ever tried to fix a long broken friendship? What would you start with? What to say?

yes I have actually. but then it broke again. so I fixed it once more.
but then it broke again lol.
that's all beside the point tho.
as for what to say or what to do.. that all depends on the people involved and what happened in the first place.
all I can say is, reach out to them and be open, honest and hearfelt.
don't worry about how you may be perceived or who says sorry to whom. be the bigger man.

when I fixed things with my friend the first time, things were pretty bad and it was a public dispute. and so, I made a public apology where I actually wrote a full page explanation of what happened and posted it on the main page of a website I operated at the time.
that was pretty much all I had to do, because in a very short time after I posted it, they came running to me.

Yes, I have done it a lot recently actually, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but I found the ideal approach to the matter is to break the awkwardness of the first words by starting with a teasing remark about something that you know the old friend likes.

For example, I had a female friend at university with whom we fell out 3 years ago because I confessed to her that I liked her, and she didn't take it well. Anyway, she loves movies, so I text her: "Hey, I'm out of movie options again, could you do your magic and pick one for me"? We ended up watching the movie together and are now on the best of terms.

Doesn't work everytime but if someone doesn't want you to mend your friendship, you can leave him be, assured that he or she wouldn't enrich your life in any way.

If you were the instigator of the break then you can probably fix it with enough grovelling. If it was due to a misunderstanding or conflict over something that's long since become irrelevant, then all the better.

That is really hard to do because you can't escape what happened in the past. Sure you can move on from it but that is always there, it never goes away. I've tried that a few times, one I just don't talk to much anymore at all unless I run into her on the street. Another apologized for what he did and we sometimes send messages over facebook but that's about it. There's a friendliness there but the friendship has never really been "fixed".

I did. When I did it back then, I was a teenager, I wrote a song dedication on the radio. We were best friends before that.. had a huge fight about something personal.. and it took almost a year.. for either of us to make the move. We're still friends to this day. Friendship that's been of more than a decade long. I think it's always worth it to take that shot to rekindle a failed friendship.. no matter how long it may be. Then again, depending on to what extent the issue was that caused the break... it's up to you to consider, I guess.

Maybe you could wait till the person's birthday and then send them a card. Or send them a nice Christmas card. This way, you have demonstrated a desire to reconnect but have not been pushy about it. It leaves the other person free to decide whether or not to respond to you.

Thank you all for the replies! I needed a little push in the right direction, and you provided it I'm going to wait for special moments as Tiina suggested. We'll see what happens, at least I have nothing to lose. If anyone has anything to add, please do.

I'll just wish you all the luck in the world, from my experience it is a very hard thing to do.

Long broken is hard to do. Me and a freind stopped talking now less than probably 10 times. Every time it ended I thought, "This is it. It's really over." I would send a letter apologizing, whether it was my fault or not. A lot of time times, that would not work immediately. But all of a sudden, I'd get contacted again when I least expected it.

To be fair, that person had no other friends, and kind of needed me.

I would just write an email. Talking about the reason your friendship broke. Take accountability if it was your fault. Apologize. Be honest. Tell them, that you miss their friendship. Then leave the rest up to fate.

I will say, I've learned that friendships are not everlasting. People change. Things happen. Sometimes your meant to be friends with someone for a period of time. Then your meant to move on, having learned, and grown from that friendship.

Thank you lostatsea and Sci-Fi!

I decided to postpone contacting anyone until Christmas or other important dates, leaving myself enough time to settle down with own feelings and emotions and have clear mind. I'm extremely thankful for all the replies! You're all brilliant