A slight anomoly... ?

We keep being told that women make up 60% of the population. If so, how come there seem to be more dateless wonders amongst men than women?

I would have thought in those circumstances that supply and demand would have seen more women on here.

I'm a woman and i'm on here..lol

First of all, the number I always heard was that females make up just a little over 50% (like 51-52%). Still a majority, but only a small one.

Secondly, most women do not have to do much to find a mate other than just putting themselves out there. No matter who a woman is or what she looks like, more than likely there's a man who would not mind getting at at her. Males, on the other hand, have to do more and be more in order to gain a female's attention over other males, such as being the life of a party, excelling at sports, being wealthy, or just generally being confident in one's self. Also, there are many males in the human population who, by reputable means or not, have more than one mate at one time.

Furthermore, I noticed that of the females here, a forum centered on dealing with social isolation, quite a few have boyfriends or husbands.

Bah, that's enough incoherent rambling from me for now.

i agree with antihero

That sounds plausible.

Antihero said:

Bah, that's enough incoherent rambling from me for now.

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Not incoherent at all

maybe men like to "multi date" more than women

Antihero said:

Secondly, most women do not have to do much to find a mate other than just putting themselves out there. No matter who a woman is or what she looks like, more than likely there's a man who would not mind getting at at her. Males, on the other hand, have to do more and be more in order to gain a female's attention over other males, such as being the life of a party, excelling at sports, being wealthy, or just generally being confident in one's self.

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Umm I don't think that this is true at all. Sorry. Men have to do more and be more?? WHAT!! Are you kidding? When you have to remove over 75% of your body hair on a day to day basis, wear makeup, and are pressured to alter nearly aspect of your physical apprearance to fit within a narrow (and unrealistic) definition of 'beauty,' oh while on top of that, do well in school, piece togther some semblence of a career, be willing and able to be a wife and mother, all the while doing it seemlessly and effortlessly...then we'll talk. Not that that is what woman should do or that most of them do do that, but you can't deny that that standard is out there and is still causing lots of problems. Also, this may just be me, but in my experience, woman are more tolerant and accepting of males that do not fit the social ideal. It seems to me...and again, just an observation, that girls are more willing to date men that are heavier, less attractive, have less schooling, and less money than they do across the board.

Not that the social pressure men face isn't significant, not what I mean at all. It's rough for everyone. But c'mon, you don't honestly believe that all a girl has to do is 'put in an effort' and men would come flocking? If thats what you believe I think you need to do some serious reconsidering and make some female friends. We don't have it any easier than you, I am here to testify.

Really....to tell you the truth I find it hard to find a Girlfriend.

iwasaloverb4thiswar said:

Umm I don't think that this is true at all. Sorry. Men have to do more and be more?? WHAT!! Are you kidding? When you have to remove over 75% of your body hair on a day to day basis, wear makeup, and are pressured to alter nearly aspect of your physical apprearance to fit within a narrow (and unrealistic) definition of 'beauty,' oh while on top of that, do well in school, piece togther some semblence of a career, be willing and able to be a wife and mother, all the while doing it seemlessly and effortlessly...then we'll talk.

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Really well put! You wrote exactly what I was thinking in response to the original post.

I think males and females have it just as rough as each other, but just in different kinds of ways really.

Antihero said:

....most women do not have to do much to find a mate other than just putting themselves out there. No matter who a woman is or what she looks like, more than likely there's a man who would not mind getting at at her.

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iwasaloverb4thiswar said:

Umm I don't think that this is true at all. Sorry. Men have to do more and be more?? WHAT!! Are you kidding? When you have to remove over 75% of your body hair on a day to day basis, wear makeup, and are pressured to alter nearly aspect of your physical apprearance to fit within a narrow (and unrealistic) definition of 'beauty,' oh while on top of that, do well in school, piece togther some semblence of a career, be willing and able to be a wife and mother, all the while doing it seemlessly and effortlessly...then we'll talk.

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I am not surprised that there isn't agreement. Possibly it is just a case of 'every camel thinks his/her pack is heaviest'.

Antihero was talking about finding a mate. Maybe i am mistaken here but i don't think that how well she is doing in school or her career is considered by most males. Hair removal i thought depend more on local norms though i don't recall any guy rejecting a female because she had neglected to shave her legs. I don't know how the willingness to be a wife and mother is harder to come by then the willingness to be a father and husband. Yes the definition of 'beauty' as perceived by all to many is unrealistic or at the very least, way to narrow. You are lucky in that you can fit within that narrow range but way to many of us both male and female, do not. Still that alone does not generally prohibit a female from having guys develop an interest in her.

I don't understand and it very well just may be my perception, from being inside looking out, that i am not seeing the other side as i should.

I think that men being unable to play apparent mind games as women can has something to do with many men being unable to attract modern women with any confidence. Particularly when men are always chewed out for being wrong by the popular press, just for being unable to interpret various cryptic clues.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationsh...e/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=5660256&page=1

Women aren't the only ones to be pressured into conforming to synthetic 'standards'.

I can't claim to understand anything at all, though all I know is that in my parents and grandparents' day people met and fell in love and married and became accustomed to each other's differences as years rolled on. These days people seem to want a complete 'package' of perfectly crafted attractions, loaded with provisos, before even getting close. Things are far too complicated now I think.

In reply to iwasaloverb4thiswar, I swear I am not the sexist ******* I probably came off as. We are in agreement on many things. Such as a male's physical appearance being mostly irrelevant or popular western society's encouragement of certain unrealistic standards (which many men do not actually pay any creed to, by the way. I guess it all depends with who and where you ask).

I am not saying that women do not have it hard, I'm just saying they have it hard for different reasons, such as perhaps finding someone to connect with on a emotional level. On the other hand, the task for most males is just finding someone in the first place to potentially develop something emotionally... if that makes any sense.

Minus said:

Antihero was talking about finding a mate. Maybe i am mistaken here but i don't think that how well she is doing in school or her career is considered by most males. Hair removal i thought depend more on local norms though i don't recall any guy rejecting a female because she had neglected to shave her legs. I don't know how the willingness to be a wife and mother is harder to come by then the willingness to be a father and husband. Yes the definition of 'beauty' as perceived by all to many is unrealistic or at the very least, way to narrow. You are lucky in that you can fit within that narrow range but way to many of us both male and female, do not. Still that alone does not generally prohibit a female from having guys develop an interest in her.

I don't understand and it very well just may be my perception, from being inside looking out, that i am not seeing the other side as i should.

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Well said.

copperation said:

Women aren't the only ones to be pressured into conforming to synthetic 'standards'.

I can't claim to understand anything at all, though all I know is that in my parents and grandparents' day people met and fell in love and married and became accustomed to each other's differences as years rolled on. These days people seem to want a complete 'package' of perfectly crafted attractions, loaded with provisos, before even getting close. Things are far too complicated now I think.

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For some reason, that sort of reminded me of this.
(If it doesn't go directly to the chapter, just click "Read an Excerpt.)

Edited for clarification