Been rejected so many times that I turned very bitter.

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LonelyL

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I'm a near middle aged lady who has not yet experience a loving relationship because I have been rejected by men so many times that I became very bitter. Whenever people ask me questions I ignore them, When I try to get through crowds, I say exuse me, and if they don't hear me, I push them out of the way or scream at them. I disrespect beggers by laughing at them. Whenever loving couples or people with babies/children are around me, I suck my teeth at them and move somewhere else. That's the kind of btch I now become. That's what happens when I get mistreated.
 
Sorry you feel that way, but maybe you need to realize that other people have a life and problems of their own, they won't always have the time to understand you. As far as men go, have you ever tried approaching guys instead of waiting to be approached by them? It's not as unreasonable as it sounds, if you like a guy but do nothing about it, you can't expect him to magically know you are interested, can you?
 
I'm sorry you feel this way; and I hope overtime things get better for you. Wish I had the right words to say to you. I just know I have times where I get very bitter too, due to people being horrible to me. So I can relate to that.
 
I think most people are guilty in some ways of feelings like that. I've always held close to saying of treating people how I'd treat a close family member etc. Whether it's a friend, job, stranger. I'm very good mannered/polite, and always apologise if I accidently forget my manners.

I do find myself going crazy though if I step out the way for someone, hold a door open and I'm not thanked. It drives me insane when I make effort and it's thrown in my face.

Hopefully just a phase you'll end up getting through. If you keep letting bitter thoughts get the better of you though it will only lead downhill.
 
Rejection isn't the same as mistreatment. Sure you can be mistreated while being rejected, but unfortunately no member of the opposite sex owes you their affections.

Since I’ve never been in a “loving relationship” either, I’m off to go laugh at the homeless.
 
I can understand your bitterness as well. Being rejected so many times makes people feel angry and unhappy and sometimes we can take this out on others.It's easy for someone in a relationship to say that being single can be rewarding and fulfilling, but when you are on your own not by choice and getting older, being single is more like a punishment. I hope that you do find someone once day and that you can leave the bitterness behind and find peace of mind and happiness.
 
I've been rejected so much that I've completely stopped pursuing women, and just..live with this dreadful feeling of being not wanted/possibly unattractive.
 
Midnight Sky said:
I've been rejected so much that I've completely stopped pursuing women, and just..live with this dreadful feeling of being not wanted/possibly unattractive.

its a bit like me. But I am used to it. I kind of knew when I was 18 that women didn't like me much. So I have got used to it over the long years.
 
Midnight Sky said:
I've been rejected so much that I've completely stopped pursuing women, and just..live with this dreadful feeling of being not wanted/possibly unattractive.

I am stubborn, I will not give up.
 
Midnight Sky said:
I've been rejected so much that I've completely stopped pursuing women, and just..live with this dreadful feeling of being not wanted/possibly unattractive.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel exactly the same way.

I try not to let things get to me, and I try not to let it make me bitter or resentful. I know that there are many people who end up in terrible relationships and wish they were single. I personally know two people in such a situation, and I'm thankful that it wasn't me.

To be in a relationship and to be abused and taken advantage of is probably just as damaging to ones self-esteem as it is to feel alone and undesirable, so I guess it is what it is.

I don't understand why women look at me the way they do, why they see me as a loser, why they see me as unattractive, and why they see me as not worthy of their attention, but there's nothing I can do about it. Lord knows..I've tried many different things over the years, and nothing has made the least bit of difference.

All I can do is accept it and move on. Becoming bitter and resentful will only eat away at you and cause you even more pain.
 
LonelyL said:
I'm a near middle aged lady who has not yet experience a loving relationship because I have been rejected by men so many times that I became very bitter. Whenever people ask me questions I ignore them, When I try to get through crowds, I say exuse me, and if they don't hear me, I push them out of the way or scream at them. I disrespect beggers by laughing at them. Whenever loving couples or people with babies/children are around me, I suck my teeth at them and move somewhere else. That's the kind of btch I now become. That's what happens when I get mistreated.

I understand. The people you mistreat don't know about your history though. To them you are just being mean for no reason. Have you ever thought of that?

I'm not sure I understand the point of your post though. What is it you want from us?


Iceman1978 said:
Midnight Sky said:
I've been rejected so much that I've completely stopped pursuing women, and just..live with this dreadful feeling of being not wanted/possibly unattractive.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel exactly the same way.

I try not to let things get to me, and I try not to let it make me bitter or resentful. I know that there are many people who end up in terrible relationships and wish they were single. I personally know two people in such a situation, and I'm thankful that it wasn't me.

To be in a relationship and to be abused and taken advantage of is probably just as damaging to ones self-esteem as it is to feel alone and undesirable, so I guess it is what it is.

I don't understand why women look at me the way they do, why they see me as a loser, why they see me as unattractive, and why they see me as not worthy of their attention, but there's nothing I can do about it. Lord knows..I've tried many different things over the years, and nothing has made the least bit of difference.

All I can do is accept it and move on. Becoming bitter and resentful will only eat away at you and cause you even more pain.


I'm actually in the same boat as you guys. I'm not quite halfway into my forties now and I've been struggling with it for a while(actually all of my adult life). I've had a few "Gilligans island waving at the boats go by" moments but I've never really been in a serious relationship. I lied on my POF profile although I did have a phone/internet relationship with a woman that lasted about three years so that's what I'm counting. Anyway, my plan is to just get back out there and risk rejection(when I feel ready). I'm going to make a game out of it though and see if I can get rejected 500 times. Maybe I'll meet someone before that happens. We'll see. The thing is if you make a game out of it then it can be interesting. Also, you can't see it as rejection but as the women not knowing a good thing when it hits them. Poor girls. Oh well. It's really all about how you frame it.
 
Mike413, You have a lot more courage than I do. I gave up on the whole dating scene years ago. There is only so much rejection that one can take before they realize they're wasting their time. With my background in economics I would describe it as the law of diminishing returns.

I'm not as bitter about being rejected as I am about my looks. When I try to look at it from the other perspective, I can't say that I blame women for rejecting me. If I were in their shoes, I would do the same, so how could I become bitter about something that I myself would do? For that matter, how could I blame them or be upset about it.

I'm much more bitter about my appearance. I don't resent people who are handsome or beautiful, but I will always wonder what I could have done to have to go through life looking the way I do.
 
If we're talking about online dating, im exchanges messages with this lady who is a good 300 miles away so its almost certain we will never meet, this certainly takes the pressure off as you can have a good old flirt, ask advice, exchange horror stories etc but it also gives you a bit of a boost. I think all my future relationships will be online, so much easier haha
 
andyluvsfilms said:
If we're talking about online dating, im exchanges messages with this lady who is a good 300 miles away so its almost certain we will never meet, this certainly takes the pressure off as you can have a good old flirt, ask advice, exchange horror stories etc but it also gives you a bit of a boost. I think all my future relationships will be online, so much easier haha

300 miles isn't that far.

what bugs me about online dating is even if you 'meet' somebody and they seem to like you very much, the fact is they don't really because they haven't met you yet. Things could change once you meet.
 
I can relate to this, although not the bitter thing.

I'm bitter that I haven't gotten a girlfriend yet, but I'm not bitter that I don't have friends or family. Relationships are only a small faucet to your life; I will probably die a virgin and jerking off to internet porn, but I don't care anymore.

I've been rejected and treated with disdain so many times by girls/women, that I frankly don't even try. I see a girl that is attractive, and she is instantly friendzoned, because I don't see her as a potential girlfriend. Why would I? She wouldn't see me as a potential boyfriend.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
I've been rejected and treated with disdain so many times by girls/women, that I frankly don't even try. I see a girl that is attractive, and she is instantly friendzoned, because I don't see her as a potential girlfriend. Why would I? She wouldn't see me as a potential boyfriend.

The bold print explains most of the reason you've not had a GF, yet. Your problem is the self-defeating attitude here, which basically makes it so that you've lost before you even tried. You assume too much about the opposite sex--they want this or that, and you don't have those traits... you think they're always in relationships with alpha males, and you're the opposite, on and on it goes.

Is there any chance in the world you could let go of the assumptions for once and just let things "flow"? Just be yourself, and sooner or later you'll break the curse, bro...
 
Batman55 said:
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
I've been rejected and treated with disdain so many times by girls/women, that I frankly don't even try. I see a girl that is attractive, and she is instantly friendzoned, because I don't see her as a potential girlfriend. Why would I? She wouldn't see me as a potential boyfriend.

The bold print explains most of the reason you've not had a GF, yet. Your problem is the self-defeating attitude here, which basically makes it so that you've lost before you even tried. You assume too much about the opposite sex--they want this or that, and you don't have those traits... you think they're always in relationships with alpha males, and you're the opposite, on and on it goes.

Is there any chance in the world you could let go of the assumptions for once and just let things "flow"? Just be yourself, and sooner or later you'll break the curse, bro...

If I can butt in and add something; self-deprecating statements, including self-deprecating humour are best avoided when speaking to women. It generally doesn't come off well.

You may think you're being cute, clever and self-aware, but all they see is "guy with no confidence."
 

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