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andyluvsfilms

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My ex wife and i were a very insular couple, we had a fantastic marriage for many years but like most we took our love for granted and things went south, we're still good friends and im happy that she has found someone else again to bring a smile to her face.

The point i wanted to make in this post was that for 16 years my ex and i pretty much lived in each others pockets but in the last 5 years since our separation i havent found anyone that i could stick being with for an entire weekend let alone any longer than that. I had no idea it would be this difficult to find someone who i had even half the compatibility with and i feel in a nice comfort zone of not actually wanting a relationship at the moment and perhaps accept that i had my shot and for the next ten years or so its just gonna be me. This is fine by me as my biggest fear is getting trapped in a relationship with someone i dont love and losing another huge chunk of time.
 
If you set out to search for a soulmate, you will never find him. Take it easy, enjoy your life and when that special woman comes along you'll be prepared to let her in. The good thing is that you already know what you want and are not willing to compromise for something less. Good luck to you! ;)
 
It's rough out there these days seeking a mate, I think, because of unrealistic expectations. We've been so inundated with the idea that we can get - no, that we DESERVE - anything we want, practically custom tailored to suit our needs, that we've extended this narcissistic logic to relationships as well.

The fact of the matter is this: We are NOT jigsaw cut-out pieces just waiting for that one perfect match. We are fully realized, whole individuals who make choices to act and react and adapt in certain ways. We change as we grow; so do relationships shift and change. The fairytale of the effortless soulmate relationship needs to be busted open. A relationship, any relationship at all, takes work. It should not be the soul-destroying labor which is the emotional equivalent breaking rocks on a prison chain gang, but an honest grown up understands that compromise is the order of the day. Don't mislabel "compromise" for "settling," either. I know of several people who think that if they have to yield an inch in any way at all, it is "settling" and that is unacceptable to them. Crazy.

Sure, I hear from friends how effortless their soulmate relationship is, and what I'm thinking is: 1. someone is in denial and 2. one or both of them is not being completely forthcoming with his or her partner about needs and wants and rolling over to keep the peace more often than not.

My point is, once we throw away the "perfect match in every way" paradigm for a relationship, and open our eyes, we can find that there are more potential partners out there than we might first perceive.

At any rate, best of luck to you. The recovery period after a divorce, even the most amicable one, can be trying and can bring on self-doubt and despair, ESPECIALLY when your previous partner has moved on faster.
 

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