School Issue

I have this thing where i am still comparing myself to people from secondary school and where i feel embarrassed because i have really under achieved, have no friends, divorced, bankrupt and have avoidance personality traits. Whats ridiculous about this is that i left school 25 years a go but i feel the spectre of that era has never left me. Anyone else feel similar?

We often look back to the times that we consider to have scarred us for life. For most people, myself included, it is indeed school. Nothing wrong with that, just remember that regrets and "what if"s are only bound to depress us, so focus on your present life and don't dwell on the past too much.

I often think along these lines as well. But, unless we are still in touch with everyone we knew at school, we don't know how their lives have gone. Maybe some of them have had even worse times than we have and have achieved even less.

Im not in touch with anyone from those days but i used to be facebook friends with about a dozen classmates, not really friends. I came off there in the end as was getting quite upset and angry about all the baby and family photos people used to upload, i felt a ton better by doing that.

andyluvsfilms said:

Im not in touch with anyone from those days but i used to be facebook friends with about a dozen classmates, not really friends. I came off there in the end as was getting quite upset and angry about all the baby and family photos people used to upload, i felt a ton better by doing that.

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Facebook pictures are based on lies, you never know what is on the other side, almost divorces, sick relationships, endless nights spent working without satisfaction, we don't know.
I am stuck in a bed in pain half of the time, unemployed, seriously alone, and I think of offing myself every single day, and yesterday I had this woman write me how she envies my life almost to the point of jealousy, and she asked me where do I get all that energy (!), all this she deduced from my Facebook pictures. I didn't know if to laugh or to cry…

And I shared a flat with this woman, whose life, even if she was healthy, was even more miserable than mine, and whenever she was somewhere she would ask some stranger to take a picture and she would pull the nicest smile like she was holidaying with her lover or something, so that judging from Facebook you would think she was really happy and fulfilled. Facebook envy is an ugly beast, and useless too.

Thanks for the post, sometimes i just need a reminder about the Facebook thing but im still glad im off it.

Unless you invent a time machine, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change how your school life was.

The worst thing you can do now is think about it. Thinking about what you should have done will prolong your suffering and torment. I move on from things like this (ex. divorce) by knowing that there is nothing I could have done. My parents got divorced a few years ago while i was in middle school. We used to live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. Ever since, I haven't done any sports, after school activities, etc. I'm not very involved in school with athletics. While I used to have lots of friends in my old school and was happy with my life, that all change when I moved. Part of the reason why I'm not very involved is because - 1. I live with my mom only. She works like 90% of the time and has no time to drive me to after school practice if I did make a team. 2. Ever since the divorce, I stopped playing soccer or any other sports. It would be hard for me to make a team if I did try out.

My dad is very fluent in English, while my mom speaks little to none. I, being the oldest child in the family had to help my mom with this. With emails, my mom told me what to say to her lawyer and I typed it all up. I saw all the documents, the court papers, the letters between the lawyers of both sides. I watched as my parents would argue. I remember the moment when I had to leave everyone and move out as our house was foreclosed. I saw how ugly a divorce really was. All of this while I was still in middle school. I never talked much about the divorce.

As you can see, I'm not very happy with my life either. I could be more active, make more friends, be on a team, etc.

What I am very happy about is how I took the divorce. I don't get into much trouble. I do no drugs, don't smoke, etc. My grades are good. I see a lot of kids on my bus in the same situation I'm in and they take it a totally different path with drugs, alcohol, and smoking. I can't do anything to change the divorce. If I continue to think about why they got divorce, and how STUPID it is my dad left our family for some slut and all the things he's done I'm just prolonging the torment.

I'm very proud with how I've handled the divorce, and how I haven't turned into a pothead or gone insane like other kids. I encourage all of you going through something like this to forget about it and move on. Please realize that buy pondering about how you should have done this or that, you're hurting yourself even more.