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ardour

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I'm sure the topic seems pathetic in comparison to real problems.

People can say what they will about facebook, but a friend request seems like a good litmus test as to whether someone wants to know you. If they ignore or leave it pending after a reasonable time acquainted, they don't like you, end of story. At least that's how I view it.

So it's odd when those who declined my invite still want to talk to me in person. If I'm not good enough for a "meaningless" online connection, what else is there to say?
 
I add people I know will add me. There's two workers I wanna add, that I know will add me, but I'm too shy to do it right now(both women).

Only one guy talks to me, but it's ok. I use Facebook for it's other uhh..activities? I like finding old school stuff on there that I "like" has not been forgotten.
 
I send a few friends request but if they don't add me and I can see they have been on facebook, I delete it and don't bother again. I have been turned down loads of times. And it's normally people from work who are as nice as pie to my face. I just think 'there loss'
 
some people only use fb for really close friends and family, or they compartmentalize their life, one account for work relations, another for whatever; some people don't really use Facebook even if they have an account, so they can't be bothered to add you; a few have something to hide. Normally, if someone enjoys your company they would jump at the chance to have you in their digital lives, personally when someone doesn't add me I know that they don't want me in their lives, even if they don't mind spending a little time with me if we meet casually. If they are actively seeking my company, they i would cheerfully ask 'did you see my fb invite?" otherwise I'd let them go and look for people who enjoy my company.
 
It's funny. Pre-Facebook, people would say, "I am your friend" when they wanted to know you. Or you would have a family blood relative, who couldn't escape being your blood relative.

Now people put all of their weight on whether or not someone wants to be their "Facebook friend." It's like that South Park episode on Facebook, pretty pointless, really.

I have family and friends who either don't have a Facebook, or have deleted me from their friends list, simply because they don't like being bombarded by all of my posts. I tend to use it like a music blog, and post a lot of random stuff and network with other musicians, so if a family member doesn't like seeing all that, they usually delete me...they can't delete my genes, though. :)
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
It's funny. Pre-Facebook, people would say, "I am your friend" when they wanted to know you. Or you would have a family blood relative, who couldn't escape being your blood relative.

Now people put all of their weight on whether or not someone wants to be their "Facebook friend." It's like that South Park episode on Facebook, pretty pointless, really.

I have family and friends who either don't have a Facebook, or have deleted me from their friends list, simply because they don't like being bombarded by all of my posts. I tend to use it like a music blog, and post a lot of random stuff and network with other musicians, so if a family member doesn't like seeing all that, they usually delete me...they can't delete my genes, though. :)
That can be filtered though by person. People can be so lazy.

Triple Bogey said:
I send a few friends request but if they don't add me and I can see they have been on facebook, I delete it and don't bother again. I have been turned down loads of times. And it's normally people from work who are as nice as pie to my face. I just think 'there loss'

Don't take co workers too seriously. 90% of the time they are not friend material. They are simply trying to get through the day and in their minds "having to put up with everyone else".
 
Midnight Sky said:
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
It's funny. Pre-Facebook, people would say, "I am your friend" when they wanted to know you. Or you would have a family blood relative, who couldn't escape being your blood relative.

Now people put all of their weight on whether or not someone wants to be their "Facebook friend." It's like that South Park episode on Facebook, pretty pointless, really.

I have family and friends who either don't have a Facebook, or have deleted me from their friends list, simply because they don't like being bombarded by all of my posts. I tend to use it like a music blog, and post a lot of random stuff and network with other musicians, so if a family member doesn't like seeing all that, they usually delete me...they can't delete my genes, though. :)
That can be filtered though by person. People can be so lazy.

Triple Bogey said:
I send a few friends request but if they don't add me and I can see they have been on facebook, I delete it and don't bother again. I have been turned down loads of times. And it's normally people from work who are as nice as pie to my face. I just think 'there loss'

Don't take co workers too seriously. 90% of the time they are not friend material. They are simply trying to get through the day and in their minds "having to put up with everyone else".

I agree
 
I don't understand that.

Facebook is basically just a website. You add people as friends, you don't even need to know them in real life to be their friend.

I value people that I know in real life, off of the internet, a lot more than some random person that sent me a friend request.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
I don't understand that.

Facebook is basically just a website. You add people as friends, you don't even need to know them in real life to be their friend.

I value people that I know in real life, off of the internet, a lot more than some random person that sent me a friend request.

It is true that people commonly add those they don't know that well and could never call friends in real life. A large of number of friends on most people's profiles could be categorized as that.

But only in rare circumstances would anyone reject the invite of someone they liked and wanted to know, so your comments miss the mark a bit.

..

Another unnerving situation at work; having just sent a friend request to someone in my office yesterday (accepted) the problem is that her demeanour has changed, she seems hyper anxious. I suspect her and her best from a different department have had some hushed discussion along the lines of "keep an eye on him...".

She had this really friendly manner, which I've obviously mistook for friendliness, and has almost 400 fb friends :rolleyes:

I'll delete her tonight, she's leaving soon so there won't be any ongoing weirdness. It feels crappy having been judged again after doing nothing wrong, but I don't regret it because the reaction revealed their true attitude, and I'm not left wondering if I could have known this person better with a little more effort.
 
I don't take Facebook seriously. Or at least I try not to. If someone I care about posts something, I can take that a little seriously.

Over time I've found myself using Facebook less and less. I don't want to know intimate details of everyone's lives. Or see 10 photos a day of some person. I like the casual talks and funny stuff.
 
Some people don't add acquaintances and do what someone else mentioned, keep it for close friends and family. That's what I use it for. Then there are some that you think you are close to and would like to have on your facebook who don't for god knows what reason, because they won't be honest enough to tell you. Facebook is overrated anyway. It's just another tool. You can take that literally or figuratively, whatever your choice. :D
 
Sci-Fi said:
Some people don't add acquaintances and do what someone else mentioned, keep it for close friends and family. That's what I use it for.

That would be one thing, but it's happened with those who have hundreds of friends.

The "god know what reason" I think is that they consider me so beneath them that I don't make the top 200+, yet they still want positive attention FROM me - someone to listen, company when they're lonely etc.
 
Okay this guy's really intense, he's talking about deletion, but there's a point in there; if you're going to delete or refuse to add someone, be sure you don't care if you never speak to them again...

[video=youtube]
 
Could it be that the people who leave your request pending think that, as you meet in real life, they don't need a facebook connection with you?
 
rdor said:
I'm sure the topic seems pathetic in comparison to real problems.

People can say what they will about facebook, but a friend request seems like a good litmus test as to whether someone wants to know you. If they ignore or leave it pending after a reasonable time acquainted, they don't like you, end of story. At least that's how I view it.

So it's odd when those who declined my invite still want to talk to me in person. If I'm not good enough for a "meaningless" online connection, what else is there to say?

I'm gonna put this out there from experience... it likely has nothing to do with that person not wanting to be your friend in real life. Some people have lives which they would like to keep personal but still have easy access to contact others. I know it sounds weird but it's very true. I deleted Facebook because I like to keep my relationships with others compartmentalized. I don't necessarily like the idea of person X knowing that I'm friends with person Y and Z. I certainly don't want my family to snoop around and so I would never keep any of them on a friends list. It's a lot less drama and a lot less stress on me at the end of the day.

I hope this is sort of comforting to you, but I definitely understand that you feel rejected when stuff like that happens. I do too, but thankfully since my Facebook is gone it's like it never happened. I get weird looks when I tell people I don't have one, and I sometimes regret it because I don't know if someone will come along who actually does want to be my friend but is too afraid to approach me in real life. Jeez, now I'm doing a double take lol
 
Reading stuff like this makes me want to trash my Facebook. The only reason I'm not doing it yet, is because I talk to some people on there more then via text ect. May do it soon though.
 

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