First, idk if this goes here, but oh well. I really needed to get this day off my chest. It's not a rant and rave or a shout or even to vent any anger. I just need to release this day. I didn't want to discuss the issue today, because I didn't want pity or for ppl to feel srry for me, etc. It really gets so redundant after awhile. (Not that feeling support sometimes isn't appreciated)
Where to begin....
I got up and made coffee. Got dressed and bought smokes (with the last of my money). I've been out of work now for almost a month and my soon to be ex that lives here has not worked in almost a year. I take care of us. So, yeah, flat broke.
I got home and started calling all of the food places open today. Every single one of them could not help me, because i had no way to get there. I live in a part of the city that has no services of that nature and so I was stuck. No gas, no bus fare, nothing to do except say we have no food for the next 3 days. I can't wait to see how this is gonna go over with the teenager when he starts gettin real hungry.
I was supposed to call about a job interview I had gone to. I thought for sure I had it. She even told me I was her first choice, asked me to call back, etc. I called today and was told she was too busy to talk and could she call me back. Sure, np. It's 7 hours later and nothing. She told me she wasn't going to call back one of her interviews, because she didn't like to tell them she didn't want to hire them, sheesh, I'm feelin like the idiot atm.
I've been surfin all day trying to find a place to just watch other people talk and feel good about their lives. All I did though was remind myself of my situation. Every1 was on the subject of food all day. I just can't escape.
The soon to be ex is useless, even cleaning house. He's been stuck on his video game all day, so no help there. Nothing left to pawn, only thing left of value are the laptops, but they are rented (which reminds me payment is due). I can't even get to a place to try to get my pension, because I don't have the gas to go. I was hopin I would, but the ex took money I was savin while I was asleep.
With no money, no job and nowhere to go; how am I supposed to feel? Numb I tell you. That's all there is anymore. Just breathing to exist. No purpose or fulfillment or hope. I just can't even finish this. It's all been my fault for not seeing what was in front of me. I put myself in this situation. Please, take something useful from these words (if there is anything useful about them). Thnx for listening.
Where to begin....
I got up and made coffee. Got dressed and bought smokes (with the last of my money). I've been out of work now for almost a month and my soon to be ex that lives here has not worked in almost a year. I take care of us. So, yeah, flat broke.
I got home and started calling all of the food places open today. Every single one of them could not help me, because i had no way to get there. I live in a part of the city that has no services of that nature and so I was stuck. No gas, no bus fare, nothing to do except say we have no food for the next 3 days. I can't wait to see how this is gonna go over with the teenager when he starts gettin real hungry.
I was supposed to call about a job interview I had gone to. I thought for sure I had it. She even told me I was her first choice, asked me to call back, etc. I called today and was told she was too busy to talk and could she call me back. Sure, np. It's 7 hours later and nothing. She told me she wasn't going to call back one of her interviews, because she didn't like to tell them she didn't want to hire them, sheesh, I'm feelin like the idiot atm.
I've been surfin all day trying to find a place to just watch other people talk and feel good about their lives. All I did though was remind myself of my situation. Every1 was on the subject of food all day. I just can't escape.
The soon to be ex is useless, even cleaning house. He's been stuck on his video game all day, so no help there. Nothing left to pawn, only thing left of value are the laptops, but they are rented (which reminds me payment is due). I can't even get to a place to try to get my pension, because I don't have the gas to go. I was hopin I would, but the ex took money I was savin while I was asleep.
With no money, no job and nowhere to go; how am I supposed to feel? Numb I tell you. That's all there is anymore. Just breathing to exist. No purpose or fulfillment or hope. I just can't even finish this. It's all been my fault for not seeing what was in front of me. I put myself in this situation. Please, take something useful from these words (if there is anything useful about them). Thnx for listening.
