do guys get scare of pure woman?

So,this guy message me on eharmony. We swap question etc... he even gave me his number. We text each other. And I mention that I never dated nor had a b/f before. Explain to him I'm saving myself for marriage. He thinks that it's weird I never mess around w a guy or even kiss. I told him I'm rare to find. We been texting almost all week. But haven't heard from him past day. Did my pureness scare him off? We seem to have common interests he's even a fellow Libra. Next time should I not mention my pureness, at the beginning?

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Well, he probably didn't have any plans to marry you

I would not be surprised if a lot of guys would be put off. One reason could be that he might even think you are not bothered about giving or receiving physical affection in a relationship. The majority of people nowadays like that to be part of a relationship well before marriage.

Yeah as a guy, I would be put off by that. Theres nothing wrong with you. I just wouldnt want to wait. Before I marry, id like to know im comfortable physically as well as emotionally with my lady.

I would suggest that you seek out a mate who shares those same values. Im not sure what country you are in, you may need to look for a mate from a specific culture.

Typically, as I understand, virginity was valued in the past as bargaining tool. A family could secure a dowry for their virgin daughter upon marrying her to another family. That being said, I see nothing wrong with wanting your first time to be, 'special'. I think most of us want our sexual relations to have special meaning.

However, in modern times, for most cultures, dowries and arranged marriages are not as common. This might be why you may have trouble finding a mate who isn't willing to marry you before kissing you.

There is nothing wrong with you being pure, seems to me as if he just didn't want to wait until marriage.

I admire your commitment to purity, but I agree with others that you should seek someone with similar values. It would scare me off as I would feel that in order to get close to you, I'd have to be willing to commit to marriage, which to me is someone you don't commit to until you have been with the person for a long time and to true care for someone and but being unable to express that intimately? That's not an easy thing to comit to. As someone once said, women need to feel in love to make love and men need to make love to feel in love. Unfortunately it's part of our genetic makeup

MrE1986 said:

I admire your commitment to purity, but I agree with others that you should seek someone with similar values. It would scare me off as I would feel that in order to get close to you, I'd have to be willing to commit to marriage, which to me is someone you don't commit to until you have been with the person for a long time and to true care for someone and but being unable to express that intimately? That's not an easy thing to comit to. As someone once said, women need to feel in love to make love and men need to make love to feel in love. Unfortunately it's part of our genetic makeup

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Off topic: Is that Sam and Dean? I cant stop watching it, lol.

i wouldn't recommend online dating for you. why not try singles groups in church, bible studies, meetups?

EveWasFramed said:

Off topic: Is that Sam and Dean? I cant stop watching it, lol.

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It is indeed

Oh and Fluffy, I do feel that it's good to be honest with a person, but I wouldn't mention your commitment to purity right away.

ShybutHi said:

I would not be surprised if a lot of guys would be put off. One reason could be that he might even think you are not bothered about giving or receiving physical affection in a relationship. The majority of people nowadays like that to be part of a relationship well before marriage.

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^ This.

I would be put off by this as well, and I'm as pure as the driven snow.

Fluffy said:

Next time should I not mention my pureness, at the beginning?

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

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It's better to be honest about this, especially considering how many men seem to go on these dating sites looking to find a sex partner. You want to make sure men know exactly where you stand on the topic of sex.

That said, I agree with the others in that you should be looking for men who share your convictions about abstinence.

jayme89 said:

i wouldn't recommend online dating for you. why not try singles groups in church, bible studies, meetups?

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It's not so much the idea of you being pure. If you were a virgin but open to the idea of sex, than I think most guys wouldn't mind. But you're pretty much saying there will be no physical relationship for a while, and no sex till marriage. The difference between your date and hanging out with a friend isn't very different.

That being said you should still be honest. Why waste your time, and someone else's?

Jayme has the right idea. Very few people save themselves for marriage nowadays. Sex is becoming more and more casual. Many would expect it within the first handful of dates. Even those willing to wait, will at least expect it to happen some time before marriage. The ones most understanding of your situation would be religious people.

EveWasFramed said:

MrE1986 said:

I admire your commitment to purity, but I agree with others that you should seek someone with similar values. It would scare me off as I would feel that in order to get close to you, I'd have to be willing to commit to marriage, which to me is someone you don't commit to until you have been with the person for a long time and to true care for someone and but being unable to express that intimately? That's not an easy thing to comit to. As someone once said, women need to feel in love to make love and men need to make love to feel in love. Unfortunately it's part of our genetic makeup

Click to expand...

Off topic: Is that Sam and Dean? I cant stop watching it, lol.

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I wondered the same too lol. (Btw sorry OP I am just being out of topic here and don't really have anything good to add on.)

EveWasFramed said:

I would suggest that you seek out a mate who shares those same values. Im not sure what country you are in, you may need to look for a mate from a specific culture.

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This.

OP you've made a thread before about your experience with dating so obviously you are swimming in the wrong waters. There are sites out there for people who want to wait, some are usually associated with church's, not sure what your religion is but maybe give them a look.

Your purity will put some guys off, but then those are the kind of guys your aren't looking for so really it's doing you a favour. You shouldn't look at it as a negative thing but a positive. Thank your values for scaring these guys away.

TropicalStarfish said:

Typically, as I understand, virginity was valued in the past as bargaining tool. A family could secure a dowry for their virgin daughter upon marrying her to another family. That being said, I see nothing wrong with wanting your first time to be, 'special'. I think most of us want our sexual relations to have special meaning.

However, in modern times, for most cultures, dowries and arranged marriages are not as common. This might be why you may have trouble finding a mate who isn't willing to marry you before kissing you.

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you did your homework dear tropi

Yes but mainly because he thinks hes just waisting his time with a girl that will probably (in his eyes) will not put out or even kiss. Belive it or not, sex or intimate affection plays a big part in a healthy and or meaningful relationship. Without pure love or intimacy there is no bond in a relationship.

I don't equate purity with virginity.