(Most Likely) Unrequited..

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R2349

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There's a guy I work with who is the type to be well liked by pretty much everyone, it seems. He's what you think of when you hear the phrase, 'full of life.' He seems to try to be friendly to everyone, even me. And all I can wonder is, 'why on earth would you try with me, when I always have nothing to say, and sometimes get so nervous I can't even smile at you.'

I wish there was an off switch, to make yourself stop feeling attracted to someone. Because then, at least we could be friends. 'cause I feel that, despite my egregious social maladies, he's still willing to give me a chance. Even if, the more chances I get to say something, the more likely it'll be that he won't bother anymore.

I just feel so much heartache when I'm around him, misreading those stupid signs we all like to believe in sometimes. And he's the only one who's tried this hard with me in a really long time, which just makes me wish even harder that I could.. just stop feeling this way!


I duno, I figure a lot of people are dealing with this kind of thing... anyone else want to get it off their chest? :\
 
The "off switch" thing would be useful. There are a lot of nice girls who I would like to hang out in a friendly way, but it's impossible not being interested in them! And it gets worse when they get in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to match with them as good as they seem to match with me...

Well, I'm awful on knowing when someone is interested or just being nice, but I gotta tell you: the longer you take to find out, the harder it will be to know (and to do something)! If you like this guy, you should ask him out already or you will never gonna make it.
 
Coming out your shell around people (especially bold, confident people) is tough, I can imagine how trapped you might feel. The only thing I can say is to try and start off slow, try with the little things like a rise smile, say hello and generally don't look uncomfortable when he's around.
 
altghost said:
There's a guy I work with who is the type to be well liked by pretty much everyone, it seems. He's what you think of when you hear the phrase, 'full of life.' He seems to try to be friendly to everyone, even me. And all I can wonder is, 'why on earth would you try with me, when I always have nothing to say, and sometimes get so nervous I can't even smile at you.'

I wish there was an off switch, to make yourself stop feeling attracted to someone. Because then, at least we could be friends. 'cause I feel that, despite my egregious social maladies, he's still willing to give me a chance. Even if, the more chances I get to say something, the more likely it'll be that he won't bother anymore.

I just feel so much heartache when I'm around him, misreading those stupid signs we all like to believe in sometimes. And he's the only one who's tried this hard with me in a really long time, which just makes me wish even harder that I could.. just stop feeling this way!


I duno, I figure a lot of people are dealing with this kind of thing... anyone else want to get it off their chest? :\

don't write yourself off so easily !
find out more about him and when he is friendly to you, be friendly to him !
 
CHSlater said:
The "off switch" thing would be useful. There are a lot of nice girls who I would like to hang out in a friendly way, but it's impossible not being interested in them! And it gets worse when they get in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to match with them as good as they seem to match with me...

Well, I'm awful on knowing when someone is interested or just being nice, but I gotta tell you: the longer you take to find out, the harder it will be to know (and to do something)! If you like this guy, you should ask him out already or you will never gonna make it.

Thanks for the moral support, all :s Sorta really need it, after yesterday. Thing is, he's already invited me out a couple times, with some other people.. and then finally, just us two, because I said I was too nervous going with a lot of people. I have all the conversational potential of a potato, plus, I exaggerate the opposite of what I'm feeling. So I came in looking like crap, because inside, it was my way of confirming that this was by NO stretch of the imagination anything like a date. He literally told me I looked like I just woke up.

And regardless, somebody who goes out all the time with a million different people and has fun with life could never find someone so dysfunctional and muted attractive. Gotta be sympathy. And the worst part is that even if it's not, I wouldn't fit with that kind of life anyway.
 
altghost said:
And regardless, somebody who goes out all the time with a million different people and has fun with life could never find someone so dysfunctional and muted attractive. Gotta be sympathy. And the worst part is that even if it's not, I wouldn't fit with that kind of life anyway.
Eh, don't be so sure about those things. There is obviously a reason he is asking you out and I don't think it's about sympathy. I for one find shy, distant, 'dysfunctional' girls extremely attractive so don't write yourself off so easily.
 
altghost said:
And regardless, somebody who goes out all the time with a million different people and has fun with life could never find someone so dysfunctional and muted attractive. Gotta be sympathy. And the worst part is that even if it's not, I wouldn't fit with that kind of life anyway.

I've got good news for you then: Believe it or not, I'm a very talkative person, and I DO have a lot of friends (most of them are male, although I'm straight) that like to hang out with me. I don't know why but I couldn't stand a relationship with someone as talkative as I am :p. So I would rather someone way less "noisy" than me... someone to complete you know?

My problem starts when I have to make a move in a date. I strangely become shy when I need to change myself from a "joker" to a "romantic" guy, and there is where I usually fail...

I don't know that guy you're interest in, but maybe he also finds the shy, socially awkward type attractive, just like me.
So, unless he has a girlfriend, you shouldn't give up on him yet!
 
altghost said:
There's a guy I work with who is the type to be well liked by pretty much everyone, it seems. He's what you think of when you hear the phrase, 'full of life.' He seems to try to be friendly to everyone, even me. And all I can wonder is, 'why on earth would you try with me, when I always have nothing to say, and sometimes get so nervous I can't even smile at you.'

I wish there was an off switch, to make yourself stop feeling attracted to someone. Because then, at least we could be friends. 'cause I feel that, despite my egregious social maladies, he's still willing to give me a chance. Even if, the more chances I get to say something, the more likely it'll be that he won't bother anymore.

I just feel so much heartache when I'm around him, misreading those stupid signs we all like to believe in sometimes. And he's the only one who's tried this hard with me in a really long time, which just makes me wish even harder that I could.. just stop feeling this way!


I duno, I figure a lot of people are dealing with this kind of thing... anyone else want to get it off their chest? :\

at least he's trying with you and hasn't quit talking to you yet. i'm sure he will be a good friend to you. I had a coworker who would once in a while come and say a "hi" to me and attempt to small talk but i too had nothing to say. I tried and tried to think of things to talk about and be interesting but I had the mentality of "why is this person talking to me. Now this person walks by me and ignores me. I even try to say hello and initiate convo but he just looks away and keeps walking. He's not someone i had romantic interest in though. But its just so when people right you off and misunderstand you. I assume he thought of me as stuck up or rude like most people do and didn't understand that i'm just shy and socially inept.
 

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