A worrying voice nagging in your head

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Flatt7

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Hey guys,

I have an issue that I don't know if anyone could give any advice on? I have read several forums as a guest and this definitely seems like a supportive forum...

Well the issue is that I was talking to my boyfriend about why he is very sensitive and overreacts about small things (for example, I wanted to carry my shopping bag and not put it in my rucksack and he got ever so angry that I said no and was standoffish for the whole weekend).

After some talk and exposition we got down to the fact that everywhere he goes and at all times he can feel this internal worrying voice bubbling away, commenting on situations and making him upset. He often doesn't sleep due to his worry. When he disagrees with someone, or he perceives they have ignored him, or any kind of pressure from society he gets these worries. He says they are so strong he finds it very difficult not to listen.

I told him to write down all his worries in a notebook before he goes to bed. But not sure what other solutions there might be to this? I would just say 'Don't care what others think, just chill and live your life' but if it was that easy obviously he would have done that.

Normally he is lovely and amazing, very kind and considerate. Despite my assurances, he gets worried that I don't like him, his boss wants to sack him, etc. I don't want him to be ruled by neurosis.

I do apologise for the slightly rambling post! I have been thinking about it a lot so hope you guys can help.

Flatt7
 
Oh, that's a shame :( I am the only board that hasn't got any replies at all - I guess my issue didn't belong or something.
 
The part about the worrying sounds like an anxiety disorder to me.

The first part about being easily upset sounds like some kind of internal frustration. Probably about the anxiety. Same thing happened to me a few years back. I would get extremely pissed off over the smallest things my gf did. I used to think that if I can't have even the most minimal control over the little things I wanted my gf to do how the fresia was I ever going to get control over the my depression/anxiety and all the other bs in my life. Unfortunately, this, among other things, lead to our relationship failing so I cannot offer any advice on how to solve this problem other than leaving him. When she left me if definitely put things into perspective.
 
The fact that he gets very sensitive over minor things could be just him being irritable due to the lack of sleep.. so anything can trigger that mood off.

As for worrying.. he has to find ways to worry less. It's probably impossible not to worry about anything at all.. but not to over do it. Well now that he is aware of his worrying issue, maybe every time he starts worrying about something, try to make it a point to divert his attention and focus to something else? Get distracted with something.

If he finds it hard to get distracted, then maybe make a list beforehand on things he could do when a worry comes to mind. For example, watch funny videos online, or play a game, or read a book, or like you say, he could write it down, and then write a reflection about it and then make it a point to stop thinking about it.

As for the sleep, I don't really have a solution because I get frequent cut-up sleep because I worry too much about work next day myself lol. I guess the key is to setting your mind and heart to relax.

He could try all these ways.. maybe there are more.. they may or may not work but I guess it's worth a shot? Good luck.
 
My usual response to that is "I know, Dad, could you please pipe it down already? I can't hear myself think"....
Yeah, he gets on like that. Of course, when I don't listen to it, bad things usually happens.
 

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