What does depression feel like?

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somber_radiance

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I just realized lately that maybe I'm experiencing depression. For the longest time I've fluctuated between not being able to stop crying and feeling nothing at all (numb and emotionless when I should be reacting emotionally to something). I can barely eat or sleep. And, I completely hate myself and can't stop thinking about how much of a useless piece of honeysuckle I am and why I keep messing everything up. And yes, I think about ending myself too. Like maybe the world is better off without me because I don't deserve a place here. I used to worry that people close to me would be upset...but I've begun to stop caring.

Can I just go ask for antidepressants? Would that help? I don't want to talk to any therapists. I studied psychology in college...I know how it goes. "How does that make you feel?" It annoys me. I just broke down and cried for my entire session last time I went.

What the heck is wrong with me? Why am I so down and angry?:club:
 
Should see a doctor to find out why you feel that way. In my experience, doctors are quick to prescribe antidepressants so you'd probably have no trouble getting them. Also, cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to be as effective as antidepressants for depression, so don't write off all forms of talk therapy.

I'm on an antidepressant myself.
 
Coming from a family with mental illness I would avoid medication if at all possible. I've seen my sister deteriorate as a person because of all the drugs she has tried. Doctors are quick to prescribe them because it is an easy fix. I agree with mathguy and would look into cognitive behavioral therapy as a solution.

I find it interesting how other people feel that the world would be better off without them. I've never felt like that. I've always felt that nothing I can do will ever make me happy. I have a decent job, I own my own condo, I have had a number of good relationships (most that ended in an non-negative fashion) and none of these things have satisfied me. I have a number of hobbies that I enjoyed at first but soon lost interest in, not for a lack of motivation to do them, I just simply stopped enjoying them. My life is a continual cycle of dissatisfaction, new plan, dissatisfaction, new plan etc. I don't say this to dismiss the way you feel, I say this because yours is a foreign, yet similar, emotion to the way I feel. Please feel free to pm me if you ever need to chat.
 

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