This is drastically pathetic, but if I don't write this here I don't know where else I will ever be able to write it, so here goes:
In the last year I made a real effort to try and deepen friendships with some people I found interesting (aka: intelligent, good hearted, with solid values, into self improvement, funny too but not as a main thing), I basically 'courted' a number of women (men, for some reason, I don't meet many or they just think that I was after them romantically) tried to go out, have chats online, made some phone calls, always, you know, trying not to look desperate or anything. Some of them clearly had enough friends, even if we went along great they weren't interested. Three seemed to have more space in their lives, and we went through similar challenges, so it felt I had 'a lead' on them, you know, maybe someone to trust?
Anyway, as I might have mentioned - because I tend to complain too much - I have pneumonia, and now I have been at home for 39 days. 39 days without one phone call, or one offer of help (two people who I basically don't know offered, but then disappeared).
These two women came to visit socially once each, but then I never received a message 'how are you doing' or anything after that, even after 2 weeks, and also a bunch of other acquaintances were completely silent.
I understand such detachment when it is a chronic illness, most people just don't want to know about that, but pneumonia is temporary, and still no one would help me to go to the hospital etc.
Now I am very depressed but also wondering if I want to still waste time talking to those above mentioned people or if, as I have the blessing to live in a place where you can meet someone new every day, I should just start again from scratch and go out to look for other people who might care if I am alive or dead, because those women clearly don't.
Or is it just that they don't know me enough, one since 2 years and the other since 8 months? I mean, do you have to wait for so long for friendship to develop? If someone I know (and like) and has a problem, if she/he gives the slightest hint of wanting to share and needing some help I am there even if I don't know them that much. If I go to the house of someone who has a life threatening illness I would ask later if they are still around, for sure. Maybe I am weird, to want someone around who cares and whom to care for.
Where do I find equally weird people?
You guys who experienced similar situations (illness, no partner, etc), did you also experience the same reactions from people?
uh, funny, cosmic influences, one of the two just wrote to ask me to go out (!) then when I said I couldn't she didn't ask "can I bring you some medicine, come with you to the hospital", she just commented that pneumonia is a drag, and left the chat - what can I say, wow! by the way, she is not a teenager, she is 40
In the last year I made a real effort to try and deepen friendships with some people I found interesting (aka: intelligent, good hearted, with solid values, into self improvement, funny too but not as a main thing), I basically 'courted' a number of women (men, for some reason, I don't meet many or they just think that I was after them romantically) tried to go out, have chats online, made some phone calls, always, you know, trying not to look desperate or anything. Some of them clearly had enough friends, even if we went along great they weren't interested. Three seemed to have more space in their lives, and we went through similar challenges, so it felt I had 'a lead' on them, you know, maybe someone to trust?
Anyway, as I might have mentioned - because I tend to complain too much - I have pneumonia, and now I have been at home for 39 days. 39 days without one phone call, or one offer of help (two people who I basically don't know offered, but then disappeared).
These two women came to visit socially once each, but then I never received a message 'how are you doing' or anything after that, even after 2 weeks, and also a bunch of other acquaintances were completely silent.
I understand such detachment when it is a chronic illness, most people just don't want to know about that, but pneumonia is temporary, and still no one would help me to go to the hospital etc.
Now I am very depressed but also wondering if I want to still waste time talking to those above mentioned people or if, as I have the blessing to live in a place where you can meet someone new every day, I should just start again from scratch and go out to look for other people who might care if I am alive or dead, because those women clearly don't.
Or is it just that they don't know me enough, one since 2 years and the other since 8 months? I mean, do you have to wait for so long for friendship to develop? If someone I know (and like) and has a problem, if she/he gives the slightest hint of wanting to share and needing some help I am there even if I don't know them that much. If I go to the house of someone who has a life threatening illness I would ask later if they are still around, for sure. Maybe I am weird, to want someone around who cares and whom to care for.
Where do I find equally weird people?
You guys who experienced similar situations (illness, no partner, etc), did you also experience the same reactions from people?
uh, funny, cosmic influences, one of the two just wrote to ask me to go out (!) then when I said I couldn't she didn't ask "can I bring you some medicine, come with you to the hospital", she just commented that pneumonia is a drag, and left the chat - what can I say, wow! by the way, she is not a teenager, she is 40
