"Relatively" Sad..

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Joined
Jun 16, 2013
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Hey all,

Had a pretty rough today and decided to sit down and think a little bit about why I feel so sad right now. Nothing big happened, just a few things here and there.. Had money on Denver, lost a few friendly matches of billiards.. a lot of work to do before the morning.. Someone said something that made me a little upset..

Anyway, to many people these aren't even things to be sad about. In fact, when I look at my life objectively, there isn't any reason to be not content. I am attending a good university, have a few good friends and many "friends", and I'll probably get a decent job when I graduate.

I think the reason I'm sad is because for the past few years, nothing great or horrible happened in my life. It's pretty much been constant, so any minor good or bad thing that happens seem to me so much more than they actually are. I've gotten too used to the privileges and fortune I've had in my life that when even something little goes wrong I just feel crushed.

What makes it worse is that even though I have a few friends that I feel comfortable sharing anything with, I just can't seem to go and talk to them when I feel down. I think they wouldn't be able to sympathize with me, because if I told them why I was sad, they wouldn't think it's anything to be sad about. So I end up not having anywhere to vent, and even a small sorrow grows exponentially as time passes by.

It's partially my fault though, because I've definitely kept myself away from the world. I've always been afraid of going out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I know it's the only way I'll get to experience things I have never before, but I take solace in knowing if I just stay where I am, I'll never be hurt beyond what I can take. So I put myself in this "neutral zone", and it seems to have increase my sensitivity to any type of emotion.

When I first found this forum I thought maybe at the comfort of my computer I could open up and speak to people about my problems, their problems, and life in general, but I feel like even here I'm afraid to reach out to anybody. Occasionally I'll check here and see someone I could relate to on their problem or achievement, but I never decide to comment or talk about any of it.

I really miss times in my life where I may have been objectively at a worse place than I am now, but I at least had someone to talk to about my sadness. Again, I don't know why I can't anymore even though I feel like I have more closer friends.

Sorry for just ranting on in circles, but I'm feeling especially down today and even just writing this all down is helping me feel better. I don't even know why I'm posting this or what I expect to gain from sharing my thoughts with everyone here.

One good thing is that though, I know tomorrow is going to be much better. It always is after a day like this.
 

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