A Story/Lyrics I just wrote...

Some of the language is relaxed cause it's in the context of a hip hop song but read these lyrics and tell me if the story makes sense to you I'd appreciate it...

Prayin for change, the angst remains engrained
Grown accustomed to dollar bills and razor blades
Will someone save the day, before it's too late?
Showered and embraced by the moon's rays
As I'm soaking the cosmic wisdom through my pores
The old ghosts haunt me like they never did before
Dimensions blending into one
Always expected to expire young
Maybe I gave up too quick
Maybe the prophecy is self fulfilling
Maybe what I'm feeling is my soul spilling
Onto higher planes, but I might take a detour
To flush out the demons and in death I'll be reborn
Feel the silver cord, disconnecting
I heard a snap and felt myself descending
Not connected to my physical shell
And now I'm standing face to face with this miserable hell
That I've created, I'm chained at the ankles and wrists
Suspended in mid air over a glowing red abyss
Creatures roam the smoking terrain
As the fear takes hold of my veins
This is what it's what it's come to, the afterlife I've earned
My selfish ways guaranteed I'll eternally burn
As I peep inside the scenes of my memories
They keep alive the grief from my tendencies
Was I a good son, was I a good friend?
Is there chance for redemption or is this the end?
As I, spill my lungs to the empty skies
The black clouds separated and her eyes met mine
The face of an angel penetrated through the darkness
The evil dissipated and gave way to calmness
Perfectly still, she spoke without words
Your sins need atonement, but I know you're not a coward
You were born with a stronger constitution
But you let your troubles beat you into seclusion
You've got so much potential but you're wasting it all
It's like when you go to a slippery place you're aching to fall
You've been selfish and self absorbed, hell is more
Than fire and brimstone, it's infected your core
You've been forewarned, time to address your health
The best advice I can give you is to love yourself
And if you manage that task then good things will follow
Remember, you're not promised tomorrow

I'm not really competent to judge if this is good as a hip hop number, but l certainly understand your lyrics, and indeed the story, which is quire clear.

Well done, you have quite an imagination.

jaguarundi said:

I'm not really competent to judge if this is good as a hip hop number, but l certainly understand your lyrics, and indeed the story, which is quire clear.

Well done, you have quite an imagination.

Click to expand...

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to read it.