Living in the Dark Forest

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

LeilaniAWarrior

Active member
Joined
Nov 26, 2013
Messages
29
Reaction score
0
Mostly everytime I go to sleep I have dreams of being in a forest and I'm running away trying to get out but I can't. Each time I try to run out I come back to the same place. And I feel like this everyday that I am trying to run away from past because I do not want to confront it anymore. My Depression is so deep that it is causing my heart to hurt and it is suffocating me. I just wish I had more people that I can talk to more people that would understand me. I just feel like giving in sometimes and people ask me how can you be depressed and majoring in social work. That's not true everyone has been there to that place where they have a "fresia it" attitude because there is nothing I can do about it. And no one around me seems to care. The past hurts so much and when bad things happen I just mixed that in with the past and end up crying with swollen eyes in the bathroom and start screaming silently to myself. So I started cutting and I've always been a cutter and some how it takes the pain away it feels like a burning sensation almost better than sex. But it's temporary pleasure, the past is still creeping up on me. I don't know if I will make it to 30 I just can see it yet all I can do is just wait for a little while longer and hope that maybe things will get better. Maybe there is an escape out of the forest..
 
I am sorry that you are going through all that, i find myself having similar dreams being chased or trying to get away from everything as sometimes the past is too hard to deal with even though i don't fully remember the bad things in my past they are always lurking and it can be exhausting and make you feel like giving up entirely.
I know when i start to remember it crushes me for a while and then i recover still feeling depressed but somehow you keep going not that its really living much just existing.

I do hope things get better for you.
 
NightHawkJohn said:
I am sorry that you are going through all that, i find myself having similar dreams being chased or trying to get away from everything as sometimes the past is too hard to deal with even though i don't fully remember the bad things in my past they are always lurking and it can be exhausting and make you feel like giving up entirely.
I know when i start to remember it crushes me for a while and then i recover still feeling depressed but somehow you keep going not that its really living much just existing.

I do hope things get better for you.

Thanks I hope so too, but honestly I can't see it right now I am just sick of crying at night I want to be happy. Everyone around me is happy and I can't stand being around people who are happy when I am not. And then they don't even say anything to you and pretend that everything is all rainbows and sunshine -_-. All I want is to be happy and live like I really enjoy life and to stop pretending like I do.But Thanks I hope everyone who is going through the same will survive this. If I don't, at least I couldn't say I didn't try.
 
I am also sorry that you are suffering so much and also that noone around you is responding to your pain. This must make it even harder for you. Cutting isn't the answer, as you know yourself deep down-I am a cutter as well, so please don't think I am being judgemental here. You need proper help and support-have you been to see a doctor? It might help.
It does surprise me that some people ask you how can you be depressed when you are majoring in social work as it isn't odd or unusual at all that someone who suffers a lot is drawn to the helping professions.
 
Tiina63 said:
I am also sorry that you are suffering so much and also that noone around you is responding to your pain. This must make it even harder for you. Cutting isn't the answer, as you know yourself deep down-I am a cutter as well, so please don't think I am being judgemental here. You need proper help and support-have you been to see a doctor? It might help.
It does surprise me that some people ask you how can you be depressed when you are majoring in social work as it isn't odd or unusual at all that someone who suffers a lot is drawn to the helping professions.

Thank you. I haven't seen a doctor personally I don't like the doctors. I do see them but I just only go for regular check ups, but I never told them about my depression. Everyone around me seems like they don't care and I can't really talk to my parents I just can't it was hard enough telling my mom that I had got an abortion. I didnt even want to get one, but I knew I felt like I could not take care of it I should have chose adoption but I was selfish I didn't want my baby to have anyone else but me. Now I messed up my life. That baby didn't deserve it, it deserved a good mother.
 
there are things in our past that we have done that we are not happy of, but at some point you have to make a decision to live life the fullest or continue to go down the spiral that you are. I am too a social worker and just started transitioning to life coach. I've had my fair share of pain. I have done things in my past that hurt a lot, but i had to make a decision and that was to be happy. It took time to accept the things that I have done and understand that I am human and i do make mistakes. I just learn from them and learn to forgive myself.
 
LifeCoachWithL said:
there are things in our past that we have done that we are not happy of, but at some point you have to make a decision to live life the fullest or continue to go down the spiral that you are. I am too a social worker and just started transitioning to life coach. I've had my fair share of pain. I have done things in my past that hurt a lot, but i had to make a decision and that was to be happy. It took time to accept the things that I have done and understand that I am human and i do make mistakes. I just learn from them and learn to forgive myself.

True it's hard sometimes but I just hope things get better. Somehow I believe that maybe my struggles will help someone else. I just don't see it yet. I just don't want my struggles to overcome me as I am trying to help someone else. Hopefully I will be able to learn to forgive myself as you stated because I tend to beat myself up alot sometimes.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top