There's no such thing as real love

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LeilaniAWarrior

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There's no such thing as real love, real love I don't believe exists anymore or at least relationships. I never had a boyfriend in my entire life and every guy I meet ends up turning into an *******. you like me but you don't want to talk to me most of the time? You want sex but you don't want to hold my hand in public? I don't ******* get it. I feel like I can't get a boyfriend because most boys of this generation only want one ******* thing! And most people say well your looking in the wrong direction. Okkkkayy so where exactly is the right direction? I'm still looking I don't see anything. All the good ones I suppose are in hiding. I'm sick of movies and tv shows portraying all these perfect relationships. I suppose only my parents love me... I guess sometimes I'm uncertain about that too but ugh idk. I just wish a miracle would just happen.
 
Hi LeilaniAWarrior

If I based it purely on my own experiences, I'd say the only type of love is unrequited love.

However I do believe that true love definitely exists.
Unfortunately it seems that not everyone gets to experience it (myself included)

I've always been the dependable guy who helps the girl through the tough times and the tears only to have her choose the guy
that was part of the reason for her tears.

I wouldn't dare suggest that you are looking in the wrong places, however I would ask if you are going for the same type of guys each time.
 
It certainly sounds as if you are going out with guys who want to hook-up rather than those looking for a relationship.

You haven't said how old you are, which may be a factor - but if this is happening a lot it might be wise to take a look at the kind of guys you are meeting.

Also, think about getting to know them a bit better before getting into the sex side of the relationship. That way you will know if they are ******** to start off with.

As for real love - it is there, but it isn't a miracle that swoops down from on high. That tends not to be love - more like infatuation plus raging hormones. Real love is a thing that takes work, commitment and attention - from both parties. Only by getting to know someone can you be sure that they are going to last the distance.
 
Look for a guy who will sit down and "TALK" right from the beginning. I mean talk about real things too and not just flirting and all the small talk basics. I think to have real love you have to have depth and respect in place before you hit the sheets. I don't know how old you are..that could be an issue too. Take your time and be selective. I work in a club and can tell you first hand NEVER look for love in them. Those places can be fun on a date but are Players playgrounds for singles.
 
I dont really know what to reply, but I just disagree with the statement.
I do think real love exists.

I wish for you to find it.
 
skippyd said:
I work in a club and can tell you first hand NEVER look for love in them. Those places can be fun on a date but are Players playgrounds for singles.

What is your take on going to bars, skippyd? Are they like clubs in your opinion? Both of them seem like bad places to meet people (for love) to me.
 
Not sure what your age is but if you're young this is to be expected. "REAL" love tends to come later in life, and is actually opinionated since everyone's view of it differs. If your idea of love hasn't happened yet then it's because you're either too young, meet immature idiots or have a warped view of it.
 
I'm gonna disagree with you Lei. I've experienced it and I miss not having it. It was without the best 10 of the 47 years years of my life. Maybe I'll find it again....I hope I do some day....
 
I'm afraid I'll have to agree with the OP, real love, in modern society, is very much an outdated concept.

We are brought up within our education system to believe that individual achievement is best. The idea of self-sacrifice, compromise, thinking of others, is these days an old-fashioned view. Everyone is now out for themselves, that is the lessons we're are being taught.

I've read this article below with great interest as something I believe in. It's much better than what I can write.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...ce-relationships-pointless-concept-quite-long
 
I've always believe in real love and I truly believe it exists. And I believe it happens when you're least expecting it. In the past I remember always looking for love and rushing into relationships but I was always looking in all the wrong places. Love isn't something someone should go looking for, love is something that will happen on it's own. One day you'll be at your house relaxing & watching the TV alone, than the next day you'll bump into someone and that person will be the one for you. It won't happen exactly like that, but one day you'll meet them. Don't know when however but I truly believe there's someone out there for you. =) Don't give up hope!
 
Calla said:
I'm afraid I'll have to agree with the OP, real love, in modern society, is very much an outdated concept.

We are brought up within our education system to believe that individual achievement is best. The idea of self-sacrifice, compromise, thinking of others, is these days an old-fashioned view. Everyone is now out for themselves, that is the lessons we're are being taught.

I've read this article below with great interest as something I believe in. It's much better than what I can write.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...ce-relationships-pointless-concept-quite-long

That article you've linked to does make some good points and has some good obversations, but it seems to approach the subject from a utilitarian/logical perspective. She basically equates relationships to an expression of lust, which of course, would be for the purpose of continuing our species. Which is a utilitarian way of looking at it. Of course our relationships need to serve some kind of purpose, but it's not always a material/physical purpose.

We humans need attachment and emotional bonds with others. She doesn't even bother to mention infatuation, which is kind of surprising since it is a central tenet of "romantic love".

I do believe that romantic love that exists, but that it is probably not something that everybody will experience in their lifetimes, and that it certainly can't last forever (we all die sometime leaving widows and orphans of our families).
 
jaguarundi said:
It certainly sounds as if you are going out with guys who want to hook-up rather than those looking for a relationship.

You haven't said how old you are, which may be a factor - but if this is happening a lot it might be wise to take a look at the kind of guys you are meeting.

Also, think about getting to know them a bit better before getting into the sex side of the relationship. That way you will know if they are ******** to start off with.

As for real love - it is there, but it isn't a miracle that swoops down from on high. That tends not to be love - more like infatuation plus raging hormones. Real love is a thing that takes work, commitment and attention - from both parties. Only by getting to know someone can you be sure that they are going to last the distance.

True. But I mean I try to talk with him but there are somedays he wants to talk to me and there are somedays he does not. When I text him he never text me back.Maybe I will just have to wait. I am 21 but I will be 22 tommorow. I guess love takes time it just hurts a little sometimes.


OnlyMe said:
Hi LeilaniAWarrior

If I based it purely on my own experiences, I'd say the only type of love is unrequited love.

However I do believe that true love definitely exists.
Unfortunately it seems that not everyone gets to experience it (myself included)

I've always been the dependable guy who helps the girl through the tough times and the tears only to have her choose the guy
that was part of the reason for her tears.

I wouldn't dare suggest that you are looking in the wrong places, however I would ask if you are going for the same type of guys each time.
Ugh I feel the same everytime he needs me I'm always there. When I need him he's always busy doing something else. He would give me an excuse for everything all the time. Its always me that makes the first move.


skippyd said:
Look for a guy who will sit down and "TALK" right from the beginning. I mean talk about real things too and not just flirting and all the small talk basics. I think to have real love you have to have depth and respect in place before you hit the sheets. I don't know how old you are..that could be an issue too. Take your time and be selective. I work in a club and can tell you first hand NEVER look for love in them. Those places can be fun on a date but are Players playgrounds for singles.

I am 21 but I will be 22 tommorow :) .. But I tried to talk to him about stuff movies music how classes are going blah blah but he just talks to me but I feel that I am doing the most talking. Many people that I know say that I am very mature for my age and I am. I am just ready to be serious I don't want to play games anymore with anybody. I just want to be able to have a serious relationship. I don't go out to the club it's just not the type of atmosphere that I enjoy. I like to go out to the restaurant or go to the mall. But yea I used to see alot of people who are not single still go out to the club and dance or grind on other people. It makes me so angry.


9006 said:
Not sure what your age is but if you're young this is to be expected. "REAL" love tends to come later in life, and is actually opinionated since everyone's view of it differs. If your idea of love hasn't happened yet then it's because you're either too young, meet immature idiots or have a warped view of it.

Maybe immature idiots. I am very mature for my age but it's just i mean I don't expect the guy I like to be perfect but everyone should have common sense. I sent him a text that I was not feeling good and he put "lol". How the hell is that funny I just :/ I don't get him sometimes.


WallflowerGirl83 said:
I've always believe in real love and I truly believe it exists. And I believe it happens when you're least expecting it. In the past I remember always looking for love and rushing into relationships but I was always looking in all the wrong places. Love isn't something someone should go looking for, love is something that will happen on it's own. One day you'll be at your house relaxing & watching the TV alone, than the next day you'll bump into someone and that person will be the one for you. It won't happen exactly like that, but one day you'll meet them. Don't know when however but I truly believe there's someone out there for you. =) Don't give up hope!

Thank you WallflowerGirl83 :) I just right now I really can't see it and at times I don't even want to think about it but I just feel so lonely sometimes. Maybe my real love out there is probably looking for me. I just hope he finds me ugh. :/


WallflowerGirl83 said:
I've always believe in real love and I truly believe it exists. And I believe it happens when you're least expecting it. In the past I remember always looking for love and rushing into relationships but I was always looking in all the wrong places. Love isn't something someone should go looking for, love is something that will happen on it's own. One day you'll be at your house relaxing & watching the TV alone, than the next day you'll bump into someone and that person will be the one for you. It won't happen exactly like that, but one day you'll meet them. Don't know when however but I truly believe there's someone out there for you. =) Don't give up hope!

Thank you WallflowerGirl83 :) I just right now I really can't see it and at times I don't even want to think about it but I just feel so lonely sometimes. Maybe my real love out there is probably looking for me. I just hope he finds me ugh. :/
 
WildernessWildChild said:
I'm gonna disagree with you Lei. I've experienced it and I miss not having it. It was without the best 10 of the 47 years years of my life. Maybe I'll find it again....I hope I do some day....

I'll echo that sentiment. I'm not with my 'true love' any more, but just because it didn't last for eternity, doesn't mean it wasn't true.
 
wow, you sound like my girlfriend. :D in a good way.

Its ok to be insecure, its not okay to be treated poorly. In either instance, just talk about it with your partner. what you feel and what is actually happening could be different realities sometimes... and the only way to understand each other is to merge our brains together... okay so we dont have that technology yet so we have to stick with the old fashioned way of talking...

Love is a verb. you do love. not a noun, something you have or find - a common misconception, but i forgive you. people say "make love" as a euphemism for sex, what would it look like if you take the sex out of it?
Dont know what I mean? let me explain with this example.

My gf asked me the other night, "what would you do if one day, you get bored of me and no longer love me?"
1 year ago, I would have flipped out on her for asking this question.. ( a trap if I ever saw one) but I didnt. couples can get bored sometimes. but that does not mean the love is gone.

my answer? - guess what my answer was :)
 
Cavey said:
WildernessWildChild said:
I'm gonna disagree with you Lei. I've experienced it and I miss not having it. It was without the best 10 of the 47 years years of my life. Maybe I'll find it again....I hope I do some day....

I'll echo that sentiment. I'm not with my 'true love' any more, but just because it didn't last for eternity, doesn't mean it wasn't true.

Absolutely😸
The anthropologist Margaret Meade was married 3 times, I think. When someone asked her about her failed relationships, she replied along the lines of .. Who said they were failures?
 
jaguarundi said:
Absolutely😸
The anthropologist Margaret Meade was married 3 times, I think. When someone asked her about her failed relationships, she replied along the lines of .. Who said they were failures?

Love that response!
 
MadMonkè said:
wow, you sound like my girlfriend. :D in a good way.

Its ok to be insecure, its not okay to be treated poorly. In either instance, just talk about it with your partner. what you feel and what is actually happening could be different realities sometimes... and the only way to understand each other is to merge our brains together... okay so we dont have that technology yet so we have to stick with the old fashioned way of talking...

Love is a verb. you do love. not a noun, something you have or find - a common misconception, but i forgive you. people say "make love" as a euphemism for sex, what would it look like if you take the sex out of it?
Dont know what I mean? let me explain with this example.

My gf asked me the other night, "what would you do if one day, you get bored of me and no longer love me?"

1 year ago, I would have flipped out on her for asking this question.. ( a trap if I ever saw one) but I didnt. couples can get bored sometimes. but that does not
mean the love is gone.


my answer? - guess what my answer was :)

Lol let me guess I still love you all that mushy stuff ugh


Mike510 said:
It's the greatest feeling in the world to love someone. If they stop loving you, it's the worse feeling in the world.

True it's so hard I don't want to see him with anybody else
 
LeilaniAWarrior said:
Maybe immature idiots. I am very mature for my age but it's just i mean I don't expect the guy I like to be perfect but everyone should have common sense. I sent him a text that I was not feeling good and he put "lol". How the hell is that funny I just :/ I don't get him sometimes.

Well that tells you everything right there, unless he grows up within a day it's probably not gonna work out.
 

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