Jeckyl
Member
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2014
- Messages
- 6
- Reaction score
- 0
It doesn't matter at what point in life you are at. Be that you're young or elderly, at all points in life, you are amazing.
Remember that little morsel of information.
At one point in life, everyone will have struggled with low-self esteem and some of you all still are. This is normal. You are not alone in this, nor should you feel like it.
I wanted to bring to you my story of my younger years and how I managed to get myself out of this slump of incredibly low self esteem. This may help some people, it may not. But what I would be truly saddened about is if I did not try to get you guys to realise your true worth.
To begin with, I still struggle with feeling lost and feeling completely alone. This however is not due to my self esteem. It added onto my problem before I sorted out.
Ever since I was a young child, I was bullied. I grew up in a very white area and I was probably the only Turkish young boy around. My full name was always mis-pronounced and I was mocked for that. I was outcast and reprimanded by everyone as the one that did not belong. I was a physically and mentally assaulted every day, and every day of my younger years at school was pure hell. Teachers looked the other way, the head teacher ignored it and nothing was done about it. This continued from around the first time I stepped into primary school (first year I think for my American brothers and sisters out there) all the way to before my college years (The two years before University).
I used to walk around with my head between my shoulder blades, refusing to make eye contact with anyone and decided to simply take anything from anyone without any retaliation and just tried to keep myself to myself in a corner away from anyone's gaze or attention. This never worked, ever.
One day, after another hellish day at school, sporting a black eye and a bruises across my body, I stood topless in front of my mirror and looked at myself. Truly looked deeply at myself. I decided to not look at myself from my point of view, but from someone who was detached from my situation. I saw a broken young boy who had no personality to speak of, a husk of a child with no childhood. No father figure.
I decided to look at the other kids at the school, look at their lives. Some were wealthy. Some were poor. Some were fat other skinny. Yet they all shared one thing in common that I did not simply have. A mask of confidence. It hit me then, confidence doesn't just happen over time. It's not something that something you simply build up over the years, gathering small fragments of yourself to piece it together. You don't think to yourself "I need to change something and just need to feel wanted by others and have their recognition to have any self esteem."
I realised at that point, one thing that slammed home for me that day. The secret for self-esteem is in the word itself. Self esteem means respect for yourself. It is you holding yourself in a high regard. Self-esteem is not something other people can give you. They have no right to decide what your self-esteem is.
You do not have to prove anything to anyone to earn others respects. No. I would say perhaps "I deserve respect from others." No, it has nothing to do with deserving. No one in this world will give anyone respect, it's not something we simply give. Nor does it actually matter.
The highest form of respect is the respect you have for yourself. No one else matters. Who cares if some random person does not respect you? Does not value you?
Do you value them? I'm guessing that is a no. Do you respect them? I'm guessing that is also a no. The important thing is, they have respect for themselves. They have their own self-esteem.
I want you to stand up. Get up from your PC, laptop, or phone. Go the closest mirror you have and look into it. Look into your very soul. Don't be afraid, don't feel depressed with what you see. Pity it. Pity what you see and realise that this very soul inside you, has depended on others for way too long. It has depended on their praises, their compliments, their respect for far too long. What is the point of other people respecting you if you do not respect yourself.
Look into your eyes. Look into those twin wells of emotion and no matter how odd you may feel, I want you to tell yourself that you, are, amazing, person. You have been through so much, and you're still alive. You breathe. You live when others have failed.
You are amazing because out of the roughly 7 billion people that live on this planet, you are special. There is no two people who are alike. We are all special. Yet there is one trait that every human being shares that is the most important trait of all. Recovery. Out of every problem in the world, you share the ability to heal your wounds and help yourself. Those scars you see in your soul? You can heal them. Not by weeping over them, but by symbolising them. They are scars to remind you that not only did you face into the dark abyss of despair, that you returned triumphant. You looked it in the eye, and you walked out alive.
Look at yourself in the mirror. This is not the look of a person who has to please others and yearn for their respect. This is the look of someone who has, despite all odds, survived in a cruel, desolate world. Someone that demands RESPECT.
Do not let your self-esteem take control over you. Realise that you are the only person who can help yourself. In your hands, in the very blood that pumps through your veins, in the intricate and complex nerve systems that courses across your body, you hold the power over your own misery. It's been there the whole time. Yet by looking outward towards others with yearning eyes, you have ignored the only thing that matters.
You.
So remember, you are an amazing person. No matter your looks, no matter your problems, no matter your actions.
You. Are. Amazing.
And the other thing is, you are not alone. Never will be. Never are. We are all in this together.
So pick up that mask of confidence. Place it on your face. Wear it. Keep your head held high and look forward. Meet peoples gaze.
Confidence is not something that is built up slowly. It's something you put on the first few times to try out and then you realise, out of nowhere, that it's become a part of you.
Remember that little morsel of information.
At one point in life, everyone will have struggled with low-self esteem and some of you all still are. This is normal. You are not alone in this, nor should you feel like it.
I wanted to bring to you my story of my younger years and how I managed to get myself out of this slump of incredibly low self esteem. This may help some people, it may not. But what I would be truly saddened about is if I did not try to get you guys to realise your true worth.
To begin with, I still struggle with feeling lost and feeling completely alone. This however is not due to my self esteem. It added onto my problem before I sorted out.
Ever since I was a young child, I was bullied. I grew up in a very white area and I was probably the only Turkish young boy around. My full name was always mis-pronounced and I was mocked for that. I was outcast and reprimanded by everyone as the one that did not belong. I was a physically and mentally assaulted every day, and every day of my younger years at school was pure hell. Teachers looked the other way, the head teacher ignored it and nothing was done about it. This continued from around the first time I stepped into primary school (first year I think for my American brothers and sisters out there) all the way to before my college years (The two years before University).
I used to walk around with my head between my shoulder blades, refusing to make eye contact with anyone and decided to simply take anything from anyone without any retaliation and just tried to keep myself to myself in a corner away from anyone's gaze or attention. This never worked, ever.
One day, after another hellish day at school, sporting a black eye and a bruises across my body, I stood topless in front of my mirror and looked at myself. Truly looked deeply at myself. I decided to not look at myself from my point of view, but from someone who was detached from my situation. I saw a broken young boy who had no personality to speak of, a husk of a child with no childhood. No father figure.
I decided to look at the other kids at the school, look at their lives. Some were wealthy. Some were poor. Some were fat other skinny. Yet they all shared one thing in common that I did not simply have. A mask of confidence. It hit me then, confidence doesn't just happen over time. It's not something that something you simply build up over the years, gathering small fragments of yourself to piece it together. You don't think to yourself "I need to change something and just need to feel wanted by others and have their recognition to have any self esteem."
I realised at that point, one thing that slammed home for me that day. The secret for self-esteem is in the word itself. Self esteem means respect for yourself. It is you holding yourself in a high regard. Self-esteem is not something other people can give you. They have no right to decide what your self-esteem is.
You do not have to prove anything to anyone to earn others respects. No. I would say perhaps "I deserve respect from others." No, it has nothing to do with deserving. No one in this world will give anyone respect, it's not something we simply give. Nor does it actually matter.
The highest form of respect is the respect you have for yourself. No one else matters. Who cares if some random person does not respect you? Does not value you?
Do you value them? I'm guessing that is a no. Do you respect them? I'm guessing that is also a no. The important thing is, they have respect for themselves. They have their own self-esteem.
I want you to stand up. Get up from your PC, laptop, or phone. Go the closest mirror you have and look into it. Look into your very soul. Don't be afraid, don't feel depressed with what you see. Pity it. Pity what you see and realise that this very soul inside you, has depended on others for way too long. It has depended on their praises, their compliments, their respect for far too long. What is the point of other people respecting you if you do not respect yourself.
Look into your eyes. Look into those twin wells of emotion and no matter how odd you may feel, I want you to tell yourself that you, are, amazing, person. You have been through so much, and you're still alive. You breathe. You live when others have failed.
You are amazing because out of the roughly 7 billion people that live on this planet, you are special. There is no two people who are alike. We are all special. Yet there is one trait that every human being shares that is the most important trait of all. Recovery. Out of every problem in the world, you share the ability to heal your wounds and help yourself. Those scars you see in your soul? You can heal them. Not by weeping over them, but by symbolising them. They are scars to remind you that not only did you face into the dark abyss of despair, that you returned triumphant. You looked it in the eye, and you walked out alive.
Look at yourself in the mirror. This is not the look of a person who has to please others and yearn for their respect. This is the look of someone who has, despite all odds, survived in a cruel, desolate world. Someone that demands RESPECT.
Do not let your self-esteem take control over you. Realise that you are the only person who can help yourself. In your hands, in the very blood that pumps through your veins, in the intricate and complex nerve systems that courses across your body, you hold the power over your own misery. It's been there the whole time. Yet by looking outward towards others with yearning eyes, you have ignored the only thing that matters.
You.
So remember, you are an amazing person. No matter your looks, no matter your problems, no matter your actions.
You. Are. Amazing.
And the other thing is, you are not alone. Never will be. Never are. We are all in this together.
So pick up that mask of confidence. Place it on your face. Wear it. Keep your head held high and look forward. Meet peoples gaze.
Confidence is not something that is built up slowly. It's something you put on the first few times to try out and then you realise, out of nowhere, that it's become a part of you.
