does anyone know or feel like their whole family just doesn't love you?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

simhthmss

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2013
Messages
421
Reaction score
1
Location
in a body
this may be a sore subject for some but my parents treated me horribly and made me homeless for a period of time and just one quick example i called my mum when my fiancee committed suicide, i was utterly shattered and broken and she just said 'oh' once....and changed the subject to some inane chit chat! she offered not one 'im sorry to hear that' no support, nothing.

there are countless instances where ive almost been killed and they were indifferent at best, they didnt turn up in hospital either not once, i nearly died trapped in a burning house that i crawled out of and had to be treated for smoke inhalation and some borns with a ******* degree number and just my family were not in the slightest concearn i have hundreds of examples the point is i know they dont love me.

does anyone else have this problem?
 
Wow. I am so sorry to hear that. The answer is yes. I know my brother does not love me. From a young age I told my mom that we would never be real brother and sister because he could care less about me. She didn't want to believe it... but the older I get the more I know it is true. I have not yet given him reason to prove to me he does care... but, I can't like call him because I need a ride. He won't pick me up... won't even answer the phone. If I was stranded or something he would leave me to deal with it myself.

I do believe my dad loved me but was distant with it. I think my mom loved me but NOT like my brother... she loved me to the extent that she needed me. Needed me to care for her in her elder age and she knew it... so that was the concern she had for me. How was it going to benefit her. I also had moments where I picked up the phone to tell her something bad happened to me only to have her start talking about some stupidity that involved her.

In the end you just have to accept that is on them. It is painful and you think it is a reflection on you, but it isn't. I work with people at work who are messed up and their kids / family think it is something they did. And objectively, it is so clearly not them... but the messed up person, but family have such a hold on them... I know.. I still am in my bother's life and I don't know why... I guess I just think someday it will pay off but I know it won't.
 
Yes...

I'd rather not elaborate, but I'm sorry you feel the same way. :(
 
The only person I'm sure about in this world is Kid. Haven't seen my parents in years, talk to my brother sporadically....*shrug*....maybe I could've tried harder but being judged and feeling like I'm just not good enough got old.
 
I used to feel like this day in and day out but it changed a few years back. I usually chalk those situations up to miscommunication or a different set of values; both pretty harmful. Mine was miscommunication.
 
Yes.

My mother was warm and loving, but my father never wanted children, and only agree to do so as long as Mum paid for 'it' (ie me). Indeed he has said to my face as recently as a couple of years ago, that I was never wanted, and that he didn't want me now. I have known he never wanted me since I was about 8 years old and asked Mum why he was always - the way he was - with me.

He is somewhat better these days, but I found the only way of dealing with it is to, in a way, pretend that he is not related to me, just an old guy I do things for.

I am an only child - he has no one else, and his behaviour has destroyed relationships with all his family. But I decided I would not be like him, so I do my best to keep our 'relationship' alive. It's entirely for me that I do this, in effect.

So maybe I am as selfish as he is after all... hmmmm
 
I´m sorry for you people feeling this way, and for having this family history:(
I hope all of you get to have new great families of your own that will love you.
 
I let go a long time ago of the fantasy that my parents can give me everything I need in terms of emotional support, much less a simple "how are you doing these days".

-Teresa
 
Mr.YellowCat said:
I hope all of you get to have new great families of your own that will love you.

I assume most of the people on this site aren't married or in a serious relationship. Perhaps that's an unjust assumption.
 
They're not worth your time and effort. My biological father never loved me. Whilst drunk he revealed that I was actually the result of a broken condom. I won't go into full details of other things he did as I posted them in another thread. Others on his side of the family don't love me either. fresia them all, that's what I say. They're not worth it and I'm better than they'll ever be.

In my opinion (and please don't take this the wrong way) not only are they not worth your time and effort but...They're not your family either.

Its just my personal definition of family. It doesn't end in or even begin in blood. A true family has bugger all to do with genes, it's really just with the love, caring and support that one creature (not just humans) can provide for another.
 
The relationship I have with my family is extremely complicated.
However, I married into a fantastic family. Even though my ex and I aren't together anymore, they will always see me as family.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top