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Personality Disorder?
For a while now I've thought I have a personality disorder. Is it a personality disorder, if your personality goes against you, stops you from being sociable, seemingly stops you from getting work and generally makes your life miserable? Stops you from doing the things that most people like doing, like going pubs or clubs, and stops you from getting a woman as well. I've seen a couple of therapists, who seem to come to the conclusion there's nothing (personality wise) wrong with me. They just say I'm anxious and depressed. I just don't seem to want to make friends with people though, find I don't really have anything in common with a vast majority of people. Like we're not on the same wavelength. I just chat with them, try and be sociable, but just don't click. I think sometimes I give off the wrong impression. I stay in a lot, I only have one friend (who I play snooker with once a week) and don't want to go out partying. I don't know what's wrong with me. This existance is a drag it really is. I go to college 3 days a week, and apart from my classmates (8 people) there's only about 5 other people around college I talk to, and then it's only brief and there doesn't seem to be any connection. Everybody else gets on so well with everybody else. Outside college I seem to just go home, watch tele, make music on mu computer and play guitar, ride busses, go grocery shopping and sadly (feel a bit sad sometimes) sit on my own in McDonalds or KFC drinking coffee alone, sad. I'm 38 and the majority of people mu ahge have gf's, wives and children. I just feel like I'm cursed. I try to build rapport with people but it just never happens. What is wrong with me? Been like this 5yrs now and don't see an end in sight. I have just started going the gym again (twice a week) but don't really talk to anyone there. Just go, workout, go home and then go out again to have my lonely coffee on my own. I just go have these coffees just to get out me flat, kills a couple of hours, walking to the bus station etc. People have noted I'm quite an overthinker if that means anything.
Firstly, you have to realise that the mental health scene has a hard-on for diagnoses. Speaking from experience on both sides of the field here (patient and therapist). You have to determine whether you have a disorder, or a personality that doesn't wanna play forever friends with complete strangers.
If I never reply to you, even if you insult me or ask me a question, it's because you weren't deemed worthy enough to be acknowledged. Don't take it personally; it's simply because I'm better than you, and you don't stack up even with, what is in my opinion, a decent individual.
You describe feeling lonely but I'm not sure that means you have a Personality Disorder. There are set criteria for making that diagnosis and only a trained professional (beware of Dr. Google) can make that diagnosis. And you said a couple of trained professionals have already told you that you don't have a disorder.
I've said it before & I'll say it here again - being lonely is not a disease or defect.
If what you're doing to alleviate your pain isn't working, maybe try something new? Perhaps ask one of those 5 people at college if they'd like to go for coffee after class today? Or if they would like to meet up to study for the exam?

En la boca cerrada no entran moscas.
The reason I say personality disorder, is the fact that I think my personality keeps me lonely. I don't seem to be able to change the way I think to get my life in order. It's just getting ridiculous now, well actually, no, it was ridiculous 5yrs ago, now I don't know what ir is. I'm just lost.

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