Work Anxiety

I hear a lot of people talk about how they have social anxiety and how hard it is for them.

Never would I imagine I'd come face to face with anxiety and actually feel so helpless about it. And it's not even social anxiety, it's work anxiety.

Not even sure exactly what is the root cause.. but it seems like everything is the root cause. I've been putting up with so much crap from work for the past.. 5 years and now, I think I'm just at my wits' end where I just find it so hard to keep going.

The good thing is I'm quitting my job at the end of June. The bad thing is, I can't even be happy about this. I get so sick just from thinking about it, headaches, nausea, breathlessness and just pure assholic anxiety. I hate it.

I feel like I don't have any more endurance to get through the next few months. I'm having a really hard time with this and I really don't know what to do. :'(

Don't think anyone can say or anything else can really help me with this.. but I guess I just needed to say this out one last time before I push myself forward to get through this anyway. There isn't really anything else I can do.

I'm just hoping that while I push myself to do this, I don't kill myself by the end of this journey. They say you take one day at a time.. right now it's kinda hard to even do that.

well if not advice then **hugs** Maybe advice later if I think of anything.. but nothing is worth making yourself ill over, I know that much.

You can get through it, Lady. Just try to stay positive about it. One day at a time does work, if you let it, BUT in order to let it work, you have to stop focusing so much on the future. Whatever happens will happen, so why waste your every waking moment worrying about it?

As for the anxiety, exercising helps, as does meditation. Do something you enjoy to try to take your mind of it. Get busy, get up and move, just so long as you aren't thinking about whatever causes you the anxiety. And if all else fails (even if it doesn't fail), just accept it. Not the anxiety, but the situation. While you may be able to change the situation later, right now, you have what you have. For better or worse, accept it as your present situation and then maybe it won't worry you so much and take heart in knowing that you ARE changing it. (At least I'm assuming you are, since you said you were quitting in June)

Just remember even if you HAVE to quit tomorrow it's not the end of the world. Even if there are lots of negative consequences of quitting, you will get over it in time. There are infinite options and things would find a way of working out some how. Just don't do anything crazy dood.

You could try visualising that you are surrounded by a soft pink bubble of light that the negative things from outside ((like work) cannot penetrate but just slide away from or dissolve when they touch it.

I was in similar situations in the past, Lady. I can relate completely. I used to spend entire weekends with repeated panic attacks, weeping, just from the mere thought of having to go back there on Monday.

Would it - technically - be possible for you to quit the job sooner than June?

Remember that your first responsibility is to yourself and your well-being. Do what you must in order to protect yourself.

Those times, where you'd do anything to get out or move on but just find yourself stuck, are the worst. But they always end-- even if there's nothing else that can be said, they always, always end. Keep going, Ladyforsaken, you can do it

(((hugs)))) usually my anxiety feels better after I make some plans, not sure if this applies here

Just remember to only do what is required and to take as much care of yourself as possible. I think it is so unfair to have this level of work pushed on you that it causes this distress.

I'm sure we will all offer to do anything we can to help.

Very nice responses from everyone...I'm having anxiety because of several issues currently, so I'm right there with you, Lady F. I think it's the fear of the unknown and what might happen that just ramps up the bad feelings.
Some good advice here, though! I hope things work out for the best for you, Lady. F.

-Teresa

Hey friend I am back I will help you get through this no talk of killing yourself pls :club:

You may be right, there is not much anyone else can say or do to make things perfect for you, but just remember there are people here for you and you are great and one day when the dragons grow older and bigger your army of fans here at ALL will help you to retake what it rightfully yours: the Iron Throne of amazing awesomeness!

You are a fighter, I know you are. June will be here soon, ladyf.

Thank you, everyone, for all your replies. I wasn't expecting this many to be honest.

Thanks jag *hug* you always make me feel softened up for some reason.

Callie, I've accepted this situation for a long time now.. I think it's more of a matter of how it has taken up all that was left in me and now I'm left with nothing more to continue with.

kamya, I know man. I just wanna get out of this situation that's just dragging me down each day. And yeah I don't want to end up thinking about doing something crazy myself.

Anahita, I wish I could visualise that to help me, I've tried to do that.. I've even tried being in denial.. I've tried becoming a robot about it.. but that's just not who I am. Ultimately, when you keep trying to be someone you're not or keep trying to not be yourself, it just ends up badly over time.

dotm and altghost, both your posts describes my situation perfectly. :'(
And no, I can't leave sooner, or I would already have done so years ago. My contract ends in June, and that's when I've put my resignation down to. If I leave now, I have to pay up.
At this point of time, this seems like an option I would go for.. even though it would cause me to deal with some monetary strains but is it better? It seems like a better idea.

*hugs* Peaches. I've been doing that for the past few months, and it has gotten me this far.. I can't seem to keep going though.

Thanks Eddie, I have a hard time even doing the bare minimum here.

I'm sorry you're going through anxiety too, Teresa. It sucks. But I also hope things will work out for you sooner rather than later.


*sigh*

---

Omg painter *hugs* I'm so happy to see you here.. thanks buddy, but that just made me cry .. again.

If it is causing you so much stress that you are being ill with the job, cannot cope, and generally making your whole life miserable - outside work as well as when you are there, then leave now. No amount of money is worth your health, morale and well-being.

If you think it is just about manageable until June (8 weeks?) then stick it out. Focus on what you are going to do once you leave, make a calendar (like on a prison wall lol), with pictures from magazines or from on-line showing what you are looking forward to doing once the contract ends, and cross off the days to that every day with a thick black marker.

... and of course come on here and vent whenever you like **hug**

Sorry to hear that things aren't going so well for you right now. You've always been on one of the nicest people here and you seem to genuinely care about the problems of others. When I was feeling really down last year and was combating a myriad of health problems, just the fact that you and Annik wished me luck before a medical appointment made me feel so much better.

I don't know how to help you with your problems - I don't even know how to fix my own - but this forum would be a far less welcoming place without people like you. I hope things will be easier for you in the future.

I feel like others said everything already, but you're a strong human being and you can go through it. *hugs*

Instead of looking at the next 90 days as something to endure how about looking at it as leading to something? Get a calendar, mark your "retirement" date from the contract on it, and write something there thats a goal to look forward to. You've made it this long, another 90 days should be relatively easy in comparison....

do employers cover illness periods where you live? Where I live they have this lovely thing called "burn out", (this is a huge cultural gap compared to where I come from) and you go to your employer with a paper from the house doctor or the psychologist saying that "you don't feel like working" and you can stay at home for several months almost full pay (!). I must say, sometimes I am even jealous of those people. Anyway, you sound like you are approaching a burnout yourself, can't this be time for a nice non-chronic non-acute illness? hugs

ladyforsaken said:

I hear a lot of people talk about how they have social anxiety and how hard it is for them.

Never would I imagine I'd come face to face with anxiety and actually feel so helpless about it. And it's not even social anxiety, it's work anxiety.

Not even sure exactly what is the root cause.. but it seems like everything is the root cause. I've been putting up with so much crap from work for the past.. 5 years and now, I think I'm just at my wits' end where I just find it so hard to keep going.

Click to expand...

I'm glad you posted this thread because I feel normal as a result. When I was first unemployed, I was really eager to try to get work (but calling people via phone was a nightmare - it's take 5 minutes before I could make the call), but after many applications started to lose the willpower.

I managed, somehow, to land temporary work. It was... okay, but the work didn't suit me. I then managed to get part-time work after much searching but pretty much every day involved verbal abuse/criticisms from the supervisor. After 8 months I quit on the spot when one wouldn't stop hanging my shoulder and snapped at me.

I thought it was a one off. Got another, again, criticisms by the bucket load (nearly one every day). Rather than a repeat, I quit as soon as possible (got three people telling me three different things and lying about it).

In the first job, the supervisor got sacked for misconduct, in the latter, it turned out 15 other people had left the job much sooner than I had before me.

After that I'm too utterly depressed to reenter the jobs market because I don't want to go through the whole search-search-search-work-criticism-criticism-criticism cycle. I just want to work, I don't want my self-esteem crippled whilst I'm doing it.

jag, you're like one out of the 2 people who supports with the opinion of just packing up and leave right now despite having to pay up. My friends, my mother and my colleagues all tell me, to just keep pushing myself because, what is 2 months, when I've survived 5 years of it? True - but see, the problem is, because I've slogged and crapped my way through these 5 years, I am reaching so close to the end but I've lost all the power to keep going. And it's making me ill. Nobody seems to understand that though. I know 2 months is nothing compared to the 5 years I've been through this. But.. seriously, it's different when you're the one walking the shoes. It's like I'm putting myself through mental abuse or something. And I once told myself I'd never let anyone do that to me again. Not even myself. Thanks for your support, jag. *hugs*

Aww Cavey, it's sweet that you remember such a thing. Thank you for being supportive.

Fairy *hugs* thank you my dear friend.

You know WWC, that was exactly how I've thought for the past year, to be honest. I have always had this goal of quitting in June and then starting my life over with what I want to do. I have always been able to push myself and drive to get past the hardest of times, believe me or not - some people might even wonder how I could even recover from my past. I'm strong, yes. But in the past 2 weeks, something inside me just snapped and that's it.. I can't seem to move ahead with the same drive and energy that has always worked for me with just having that particular goal. I don't know what it is. It's not working for me anymore. Thanks though, I appreciate your input.

**** that sounds so luxurious, Peaches. We don't have such a thing here. See, after I was diagnosed with cancer, my doctor wrote a letter for me to my employers to request for a job change or transfer, to something not as stressful or physically draining because it wasn't going to help with my recovery and treatments that was coming. It took them 2 months to assess one freaking letter, my medical records and I was even supposed to go through their medical board assessment once again (I was ready for it) but then they said no, the request is rejected because they can't make such a transfer because technically, I'd have to quit my job first before I can apply for something else like the doctor suggested. Which of course I couldn't do at the time cos of my contract.

So, after that, I said fine, I'll just keep going and look forward to June. I've even explored all other possiblities but there are none, just because of my contract agreement. But that's nice to know about though, thanks Peaches *hugs*

Aww Groucho, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know how difficult it must've been.. believe me. Some people might think you're not serious about work when you keep changing but sometimes it's really necessary for your personal sanity. And I'm glad you kept trying but I'm sorry that you've been scarred so much to try again. Maybe we need to keep trying to get to the job that really seems comfortable enough for you to get by with. With decent people. :\

I'm still at a loss with what I should do. I'm not even sure if I can pack up and leave and pay up even if I want to. Because of this freakin contract agreement. I will never ever sign up for something like this ever again, no matter how much a loved one begs me to. **** it.

Hi Lady, ((((((hugs))))))) I am so sorry you are going through this . I have suffered terribly with anxiety all my adult life especially this last year.

Do you think maybe because the finishing line is in sight, you feel worse. Like you have held strong for so long and now it is close that strength is slipping?

I found meditation really helps my anxiety just ten minutes a day. Anothwr helpful exercise Inuse when I feelnsuch despair is writing a 2 lists next to each other one of things you Can't control andnthen fill in what you Can control. Once you feel it is complete read the can't column and then fold it over so you can't see it. When youbfeel weak but still have to move forward look at what you can control list.

Don't forget we are here for you.

Big hugs x