Tired of being ugly

I think I'm so ugly because people (men and women) stare at me whenever they notice me and they laugh too at me. I close myself in my house for days in a row until I really have to go outside and i'm so tired of people judging me for my looks.
No, im not fat, don't have any moles in my face or anything, I just have a ugly face!
I don't consider myself to be hideous but people do treat me that way and because of this I have no career, no friends and no girlfriend.
It is like everyone wants to throw stones at me.
People show zero empathy, but actually I just wanna be left alone and be treated like a normal person.
I'm afraid one of these days I'm gonna go into a terrible fight with one of these people because I've had it, while I just want to live in peace, why is that so much to ask?
My family tells me not to care what they say but that is impossible because it so so hurtful seeing people treat me this way!
This has been playing ever since I was in my late teens, when I quess I really started to lose my looks.
I feel desperate, how am I suppose to live like this? Suicide is starting to seem as an option.
Thx for reading this!

I'm sorry. And your situation sounds like it has gotten to the point that words from me aren't going to help.

I will say it is not only looks that make people attractive. There are several factors that go into being attractive.

Are there other aspects about you that can change? For example up-to-date clothing that flatters you better, a haircut that suits your head shape, shaving with a good razor and general tidiness (not suggesting you're a slob) In the end you can only build on what you are, but you'd be surprised what improvements can be made.

I have a friend who could definitely relate. With her what she sees is not as others see. Kind of like an anorexic. She too worries about it a lot. If we go out she thinks everyone is laughing at her. She's so paranoid that she thinks the world is against her. The fact is she's pretty and people aren't looking at her or laughing at her. They are laughing at things, a joke between friends, anything and might look at her as she walks past so she assumes it's about her. Do you think is is a possibility with you? But personality is so much more important than looks. If you ever need to chat to someone feel free to pm me.

ardour said:

Are there other aspects about you that can change? For example up-to-date clothing that flatters you better, a haircut that suits your head shape, shaving with a good razor and general tidiness (not suggesting you're a slob) In the end you can only build on what you are, but you'd be surprised what improvements can be made.

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yes I agree, in general unattractive people tend to wear untidy clothes and don't look groomed. (not saying Hawk does that though)

trying to look happy and positive will make people warm to you as well

Triple Bogey said:

yes I agree, in general unattractive people tend to wear untidy clothes and don't look groomed. (not saying Hawk does that though)

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yeah they (we) tend to think there's no point, but it helps.

It's one of those situations where you have to try and rise above this, these people are probably not going to change. From the sounds of it these people are kids the way they act, don't blame it on you being "ugly", it's the idiots who are judging you who are the problem.

Hawx79 said:

I think I'm so ugly because people (men and women) stare at me whenever they notice me and they laugh too at me. I close myself in my house for days in a row until I really have to go outside and i'm so tired of people judging me for my looks.
No, im not fat, don't have any moles in my face or anything, I just have a ugly face!
I don't consider myself to be hideous but people do treat me that way and because of this I have no career, no friends and no girlfriend.
It is like everyone wants to throw stones at me.
People show zero empathy, but actually I just wanna be left alone and be treated like a normal person.
I'm afraid one of these days I'm gonna go into a terrible fight with one of these people because I've had it, while I just want to live in peace, why is that so much to ask?
My family tells me not to care what they say but that is impossible because it so so hurtful seeing people treat me this way!
This has been playing ever since I was in my late teens, when I quess I really started to lose my looks.
I feel desperate, how am I suppose to live like this? Suicide is starting to seem as an option.
Thx for reading this!

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The parts I put in bold are, IMO, why you're having such a hard time with this. People can laugh all they want, but how can you be sure that's the reason they are laughing? I understand completely what it feels like to think people are staring and talking about you, but it may not have anything to do with how you look.

What your family tells you is true, you shouldn't care what they say. But what isn't true is that you say it's impossible. You feel it is impossible because you feel about yourself the way you think others feel about you. The only opinions about you that matter are from the people that genuinely know you and of course, yourself. It doesn't matter what you think people are saying about you, what matters is how you think of yourself and how you deal with what others say. People can say whatever they want about you, and they will, but words can only cause damage if you let them.

Triple Bogey said:

trying to look happy and positive will make people warm to you as well

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I agree. Even faking confidence until it's a real thing works. I am no where near a ten, but I confident in some of my abilities. I have actually been told that is a very attractive aspect about me.

Hawx79 said:

Suicide is starting to seem as an option.

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Please, I encourage you to visit:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

National Suicide Crisis Textline

Hopeline

There's no shame in simply calling up to talk about things. Some (if not all) of these are no-strings-attached. You can call in and simply talk.

9006 said:

It's one of those situations where you have to try and rise above this, these people are probably not going to change. From the sounds of it these people are kids the way they act, don't blame it on you being "ugly", it's the idiots who are judging you who are the problem.

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That is true, wherever I go in the world, people are about the same. It's funny you think these kinda people are kids while in fact a lot of them there are grown ups with jobs, kids and all. I guess I seem to bring out the worst in people just for looking the way I do.

To respond to some, I'm not saying it sucks not to be attractive but to be ugly to the point you're getting harassed by people every day!
I wear good quality clothes, eat healthy and work out every day yet it isn't enough. I'm getting starred at as I was some kind of freak, being laughed by people and saying really mean things about me like that they don't understand why I haven't already commited suicide or that they need to puke when they see me and recently some guy mockingly saying to his girlfriend about me that he pities me for having go to life for being so ugly. Men and women say these things about me, even though most of them are in no sense perfect themselves.

Hawx79 said:

9006 said:

It's one of those situations where you have to try and rise above this, these people are probably not going to change. From the sounds of it these people are kids the way they act, don't blame it on you being "ugly", it's the idiots who are judging you who are the problem.

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That is true, wherever I go in the world, people are about the same. It's funny you think these kinda people are kids while in fact a lot of them there are grown ups with jobs, kids and all. I guess I seem to bring out the worst in people just for looking the way I do.

To respond to some, I'm not saying it sucks not to be attractive but to be ugly to the point you're getting harassed by people every day!
I wear good quality clothes, eat healthy and work out every day yet it isn't enough. I'm getting starred at as I was some kind of freak, being laughed by people and saying really mean things about me like that they don't understand why I haven't already commited suicide or that they need to puke when they see me and recently some guy mockingly saying to his girlfriend about me that he pities me for having go to life for being so ugly. Men and women say these things about me, even though most of them are in no sense perfect themselves.

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Are these people just random strangers shouting abuse at you ?
I am asking because I think most of us go thru that. I get people shouting things at me. Last week when I was taking photographs, these youths threw a full can of beer at me, missed me by inches. I remember walking to this pub, dressed up for a works night out a few years back and this person shouted 'bald knobhead' at me. It happens all the time. I don't let it bother me.

Frankly, after reading your posts, I don't think it's your looks that is the problem here. I think you sound depressed and that may be causing to feel bad about your looks. It can be a vicious circle that's hard to break out of.
If you're contemplating suicide, please do contact the organizations that BJD gave the links to.

-Teresa

Hawx79 said:

My family tells me not to care what they say but that is impossible because it so so hurtful seeing people treat me this way!
This has been playing ever since I was in my late teens, when I quess I really started to lose my looks.
I feel desperate, how am I suppose to live like this? Suicide is starting to seem as an option.Thx for reading this!

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Your family is right man.Just try to not care what others talk about you and that is what i did slowly and that is how i overcame anxiety which i had for longtime. I don't have a proper career and no friends either.Whatever it is,don't ever think about suicide.Life is already short.I hope you overcome your problems.

I'd say the best solution is just learn not to care what others think or adopt the mindset that looks are not important. But that's easier said than done. Otherwise there's a lot people can do to improve their looks. Like ardour said, finding some better clothes and getting a different haircut can make a big difference. Working out regularly and eating well also make a huge difference. Get a gym membership, start a serious training regime (do some research first) and learn about nutrition then adopt a healthy diet. Not only will that help improve your looks, it will also help take your mind off other things and you will feel a lot better in general.

I already been doing all those things. Been working out almost everyday for years, and eat healthy too, I am not fat at all.
But even if you have a nice body and a six pack whatever, people look at your face not your body especially when you're a man.

Hawx79, hang in there man. I myself have found that something as simple as standing up straight, wearing fitting, clean clothes which match my interests, and a shave and a haircut have made me feel like a million bucks. After doing those things I honestly feel like a different person entirely.

I don't think that you're ugly, but of course I don't know you. Honestly, it's richness in this world that people have different looks! What might be attractive to one, isn't good looking at all for someone else. You're way too hard for yourself. I think you have ''programmed'' to make yourself to think that you're ''ugly'', even if it isn't true.

You know sometimes negativity can have a knock-on effect with the way you act, speak, attitude and whole demeanor really. I'm not saying this is the case for you but I'd look at these things before blaming your looks. The fact that you said "I don't consider myself to be hideous" makes me think this, this is a good attitude to have about yourself. You shouldn't think the worst about yourself just because others say bullshit, and someone in your position would be so easy to turn against themselves.

Some people go through school being bullied and called at, they survive all the abuse and feel releaved when they leave, yet to know that full grown adults act the same is pretty ******* frustrating. Some people just don't get a break; I get that.

Uh, man... I've seen some butt-ugly people... And I'm not talking about looks either... I used to work with a girl who looked exactly like my type... I thought she was really pretty, well, till we actually had a talk... She had attitude problems & she acted like she was so entitled to everything... She was mean to people, she sounded condescending to everyone, she was such a kiss-ass type person to the boss, & everything that make me wanna smack'em on the back of their head about a person... I didn't see her for about a week, probably on vacation, & when I saw her again, I just couldn't shake that "could you get little closer so I can kick you in your face" type of feelings... Don't get me wrong... I'm not a violent person & I wouldn't actually follow through with that thought but I just couldn't stand to look at her face anymore without getting annoyed... On a flip side of that, there's a guy name "Kurt Nilsen"... He's a singer from Norway, I think... He's got a very noticeable gap in his front teeth... You can find him on youtube... He's not a "hot looking model type" of a guy but his voice is something else... ... I've seen couple of posts, obviously by women, that how cute he looked & how amazing he sounded... Another person is Rion Paige... ... Ok, may be a bad example... She does have a beautiful face... But she is physically different... When a person has a type of personality that she does, people hardly notice her physical handicap...

My point is, it takes a lot more than aesthetic appearance of a person... You could have "butt-ugly" face but if you have a personality of an angel, people will notice... But if you have a face of an angel but "something out of a sewer" for a personality, people will notice that, too...