Ranting...

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brickinthewall

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Been a while since I've posted here... so here I go..

I actually can't complain too much, had an amazing couple of weeks, met a girl that actually seemed interested in me (for the first time ever in my life).

We've been sort of going out for almost a month now, but nothing really extraordinary happened so far. The one thing that really grinds my gears though is that whenever we aren't together she seems incredibly passive. She's the kind of person that almost never answers the phone on the first try (in general not just with me) and this really ticks me off , I hate it when people do this.

Often we would make plans to go out, she says she would call after her classes are over and she doesn't...then I call her and she's like "wanna go out?". When we are together she really seems to be having a good time, we've spent quite a few nights out until late laughing and having fun (singing mostly since she has an amazing voice and I play guitar). Whenever we go our separate ways she looks at me with big eyes and says "What are you doing tomorrow? Want to hang out?" and then she would never call.

I know I'm the one who is supposed to have initiative but really ? Every single time? This is really what baffles me , because we've always had an amazing time and she would always hug me after I'd walk her home and the next day she would be very passive.

And another thing...would this be the time to take things to another level? I think that I should tell her how I feel because I've really started to like her a lot and I wouldn't want the moment to just fly by. I would rather just tell her and take her reaction head on , good or bad it would still be better than living with the thought that I didn't even try.

Rant over , might write more later on , thanks for reading!
 
You cannot change anyone else, you can only change yourself.

This means that if something about someone drives you mad, you cannot make them be different, you can only change your feelings about the thing that drives you mad, or learn to accept it at least. You can ask her to be a bit more take charge, but you can't expect that she will do so.

So if you like this girl and she likes you, then ultimately you might just have to accept what she is like, or let it split you apart.

Is it the time to tell her how you feel? Hard to say but sooner or later you will have to do that if you want to move on into something deeper. So definitely try - you may never know otherwise... :)
 
jaguarundi said:
You cannot change anyone else, you can only change yourself.

This means that if something about someone drives you mad, you cannot make them be different, you can only change your feelings about the thing that drives you mad, or learn to accept it at least. You can ask her to be a bit more take charge, but you can't expect that she will do so.

So if you like this girl and she likes you, then ultimately you might just have to accept what she is like, or let it split you apart.

Is it the time to tell her how you feel? Hard to say but sooner or later you will have to do that if you want to move on into something deeper. So definitely try - you may never know otherwise... :)

Thanks for the reply! But in particular what drives me mad is the phone thing , not just her but generally hate it when you call someone 100 times and they don't answer (probably because I'm the kind that always answers or texts back if I can't). But you are right, maybe I should try and be a bit more relaxed about this, it's very hard though!

And yeah that's what I was thinking , I would totally HATE myself if the moment passed and I would live with the regret that I didn't speak up when I had the chance.
 
🔼l know what you mean about the phone and texting thing, I'm the same. But one of my friends - sheesh! I call her, she doesn't answer then sends me a huge long email or text saying she doesn't have time to chat... By the time she wrote it we could have been talking for half an hour!😸

BUT it's her way, all I can do is bite my lip, 'cos having a quarrel about it won't change her! Quite often I bet myself a million euros as to whether she will actually call me or email. I must owe myself half the world debt by now!😹
 
Maybe she's a kind of person who enjoys spending time with you even if she's not initiative. If I am in a relationship, I probably be like her, expecting the partner to make the first move. I'm a kind a person who enjoys time alone and time with others.

Do whatever you can do to keep it going. Don't lose her.
I'm just here, on my bed, alone, crying myself to sleep.. 😭
Just kidding.
 
Surcruxum said:
Maybe she's a kind of person who enjoys spending time with you even if she's not initiative. If I am in a relationship, I probably be like her, expecting the partner to make the first move. I'm a kind a person who enjoys time alone and time with others.

Do whatever you can do to keep it going. Don't lose her.
I'm just here, on my bed, alone, crying myself to sleep.. 😭
Just kidding.

I can kind of relate... I don't usually have the need for other people (apart from her) because I'm kind of an introvert , I enjoy spending time alone myself but now I'm just in the "can't stand a day without her" phase. I will definitely struggle to keep her, not planning to give up any time soon...guess I might just need a break since we've seen each other every day the past week (maybe she does too).
 

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