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How can I feel so lonely amongst so much love????
#1
I have some very close friends that I don't see/talk to but know they are always there when I need them and visa-versa. I have a common-law husband (yes, we're a gay couple) and we've been together for 30 years. I have a great family who live 500 miles away. My partner has two grown children from his previous marriage but they live a long ways away so we don't see them much. I'm not socially confounded, I'm not depressed, I'm 50 but act young and look young and have a good attitude.

I've joined 'dating' sites (LOL....seriously!!) just looking for friendships. I've bought a new smart phone in hopes of texting with family and friends but no one is interested. My partner has been a loner all his life so we don't have many friends.

I've been feeling lonely for about 2 years now and just don't get it. There's people in my life who love me and I love them but I still feel lonely. I just don't get it (or what to do about it).
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#2
When I first joined this site, my husband looked at me and said, "A Lonely Life? What you are you doing on a site like that? You have a family, how can you possibly be lonely?"

He's right - at 42, I have my hubby, a beautiful 5-year old son, friends, family, interests of my own, hobbies...

This is what I told him: It's not so much that I feel 'lonely', but that I crave connections with other people. Connections that I maybe don't get at home, and can't get from our relationship together - not that I necessarily feel that I'm missing out or trying to hide something, but simply that I like the varied perspectives that people other than my usual group of contacts gives me.

I don't know - for me, it's just satisfying and fulfilling to come here, check out what everybody's up to and what's on people's mind - I usually leave with some food for thought, and definitely a chuckle or two...and I've met people here that I consider friends. Smile

Does any of that make sense?

P.S - Welcome to the site!! Toungue
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#3
You have that. I know I am loved. My sister, dad, mom, and nana call me quite often. I share an ongoing email with some of college friends, and I have people comment and "like" pictures and statuses on facebook all the time. They wouldn't do that if they didn't love me, right?

I think there are situations in our lives where we feel lonely because no one understands what we are going through, or we have to face a problem on our own. And sometimes those calls, texts, and emails aren't enough. We need person to person interaction.
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#4
Feeling/being loved is one thing, feeling/being useful/not worthless is another.

We all need attention from one or more sources, be it family, friends, partner, or strangers. Attention in one way or another gives us the feeling of worth, that we mean something. Ringwood you mentioned that you leave food for thought sometimes. You unconsciously require "to be helpful" to feel not lonely/worthless. Pretty much all human beings are that way.

We feel lonely because we don't feel we get attention from the audience we need, and we feel worthless because we don't feel helpful to those that we want to be helpful to. What we're all looking for is to be accepted for who we are and what we have to offer. Both, not one or the other.
"Easier said than done." Yes, but what else are you going to do about it?

"You can't feel the warmth of the fire if you have four layers on trying to keep the cold out."
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#5
I feel part of something on here. A kindred spirit.
I never feel like that in normal life. I feel outside of things.
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#6
(05-06-2014, 03:00 AM)countryhermit Wrote: I have some very close friends that I don't see/talk to but know they are always there when I need them and visa-versa. I have a common-law husband (yes, we're a gay couple) and we've been together for 30 years. I have a great family who live 500 miles away. My partner has two grown children from his previous marriage but they live a long ways away so we don't see them much. I'm not socially confounded, I'm not depressed, I'm 50 but act young and look young and have a good attitude.

I've joined 'dating' sites (LOL....seriously!!) just looking for friendships. I've bought a new smart phone in hopes of texting with family and friends but no one is interested. My partner has been a loner all his life so we don't have many friends.

I've been feeling lonely for about 2 years now and just don't get it. There's people in my life who love me and I love them but I still feel lonely. I just don't get it (or what to do about it).

That loneliness is caused by boredom.
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#7
I think their are different types of love. Love that comes from family, love that comes from friends, or love that comes from your spouse or significant other. Even if you have two out of the three, you may still feel some sort of loneliness.
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