How To Stay Motivated

I want to know what you do (or have done) to stay motivated to complete tasks and reach goals.

I have not been successful at self-motivation. Truth be told, if I am left to my own devices and a low priority task awaits me, I will almost always put it off. For example: When I come home and there are dishes in the sink, since I live alone, NOT doing the dishes will literally affect no one but me. No one else will see them, so if I decide to skip it and do something else, my mind justifies this as okay.

Only, it's not okay because it builds a habit of laziness.

Going over the tasks I have completed, I learned that my motivation is often tied to fear. When I had a job, I'd diligently wake up, shower, shave, dress, eat breakfast, and drive to work because I had a fear that failing to do this would seriously threaten my livelihood. Translation: No cash in my bank account.

But when it comes to my personal life, I have no way to instill that fear in me because my mind can easily override this. Now, knowing that fear is a primary motivator for me to get things done, what am I to do when there is no one around who expects me to get something done?

Yesterday, I met with one of my closest friends who I had not seen in months. My friend and I have the same motivational problems. She also tends to fall back on procrastination, and she felt that we could help each other.

Last night we made a deal. We both want to see a particular movie on Thursday, so we made a date to see this movie, but only if certain conditions are met. We both have things we need to get done: Household chores, exercising, and other things that will improve our lives and make us feel better.

Each of us listed the things we need to get done between now and Thursday, and we made a vow to text each other every day to gently nudge the other into doing these things. The kicker is that the movie on Thursday will be cancelled if we do not finish these tasks.

Now, I have the motivation I need. If I don't do what I told her I'd do, I will feel embarrassed, and the fear of having my friend think poorly of me motivates me to get off my ass and get honeysuckle done. I also want to see the movie, so it motivates me to text and call her to see if she's gotten her honeysuckle done. Finally, the fact that there is a reward tied to it gives us a positive goal to strive for. The ultimate goal of this is to develop a motivation where I no longer need fear to do something. Hopefully, my motivation can be the joy of finishing the chore or project itself.

So, what have you done to motivate yourself to do those things in your life that you put off for no other reason than laziness?

I think the best thing to do, when you get home, is NOT sit down and then start knocking some of those chores off the list. You can cross off an item or two and then you have the rest of the evening to laze around.

When I get home from work and once I sit down, it's generally over till I take my dog for a walk then I do a few chores, get my lunch ready for work the next day, and whatever else needs to be done.

beautiful loser said:

I think the best thing to do, when you get home, is NOT sit down and then start knocking some of those chores off the list. You can cross off an item or two and then you have the rest of the evening to laze around.

When I get home from work and once I sit down, it's generally over till I take my dog for a walk then I do a few chores, get my lunch ready for work the next day, and whatever else needs to be done.

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My difficulty has been trying to stop myself from sitting down right when I got home. In those moments, the lure of rest is much stronger than the lure to do chores. I could intellectualize it by saying that if I did the chores, I could rest all I wanted. But in those moments when I feel exhausted, if that initial lure of rest wasn't so strong, I wouldn't have a problem.

With your chore list in front of you, open the windows, crank some tunes, and stay off the f'ing computer.

Staying motivated isn't really an issue for me. I figured out a long time ago, if I want anything to get done, I have to do it myself. My kids also keep me going, because someone has to be a responsible parent to them.

WildernessWildChild said:

With your chore list in front of you, open the windows, crank some tunes, and stay off the f'ing computer.

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Or kidnap you and force you to do it for me. :club:

TheRealCallie said:

Or kidnap you and force you to do it for me. :club:

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Kidnap me to do chores!!!! You wimmen-folk are all the same, you find out I've got the tools to do the job and it's all about your needs....

I think I'm gonna run away now..............................

Listening to something interesting on radio 4 helps me get boring chores done.

Something that worked for me when I was in school -- I put aside a time every single day that I was going to study. If that day I didn't have anything to study, I would just study something anyway. Chore time.

I think that the battle for tomorrow is often already won or lost today. For me, for example, I like to write down what I need to get done tomorrow either tonight or very early tomorrow. Also, I need to go to bed by 11PM so that I can wake up early the next day. Then I need to start my day with exercise, so I wake up and am not tempted to go back to sleep by drowsiness. I've heard it said that aerobic exercise (walking, running, etc) helps wake you up and helps you think more clearly because it gets your blood and oxygen flowing.

I also find meditation helps. Just taking some time to let my mind empty itself, or to focus on thoughts like "life doesn't happen to me, I actively create my life", "I can be any way I'd like to be", "I create my own thoughts so there's no point in thinking about things I don't like, ever", or "don't complain and blame because I have just as much potential to be rich/creative/successful as anyone".

There's this idea going around, that basically says you should try to be good to your "future self" by being productive in the present. So that in the future, we can look back to our "past self" and be glad we did something instead of putting it off. It's kind of funny but makes sense if you think about it. Too often we're paralyzed by inaction because we're too focused on how it makes us feel in the short term, so it helps to have a long-term view of things to help us stay on track.

Revengineer said:

There's this idea going around, that basically says you should try to be good to your "future self" by being productive in the present. So that in the future, we can look back to our "past self" and be glad we did something instead of putting it off. It's kind of funny but makes sense if you think about it. Too often we're paralyzed by inaction because we're too focused on how it makes us feel in the short term, so it helps to have a long-term view of things to help us stay on track.

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That's a really good one, I'll try to remember that - I have a problem with motivation too, and I empathise with the OP, fear is probably my main driving force. I think that the fear thing is maybe conditioned from my childhood (strictly religious) and it's not a terribly effective or healthy motivator, but It's very hard to learn new mind or emotional patterns.

I find staying motivated one of the harder things to do, I kind of envy those people who just seem totally motivated in anything they do and indeed life itself. I'm not sure weather it's something you can just do or something you're conditioned to. But personally I try to think of the end result and how great it'll be, that seems to help a little. It's more to do with energy for me, I hardly ever feel as though I have it (Mentally and sometimes physically) I hope it's not laziness. If you find out how to overcome this, let me know!

UPDATE:

I mentioned in my OP that my friend and I set out to get a few things accomplished with the help of mutual motivation through daily texts and reminders. I found it to be quite motivating. I was able to get everything on my list done during the week, and I felt motivated to do more exercising. My friend and I are now negotiating another "reward" to shoot for to motivate ourselves to get our separate tasks complete.

Since we in the US are in a holiday weekend, there is the tendency to relax. However, I realize that the more I relax, the harder it will be to complete the tasks I have for myself.