How do you avoid another evening in your room alone...

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Wanderer145

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I've actually lost count of the amount of times it comes to the end of the week after work and everyone goes back home to their friends/partners and I take the long train back to my home town where I know no one walk the route back to my house go up to my room and sit back on the laptop...

I don't have any friends to hang out with..

What do you do when the weekend starts and how do you avoid the feeling when you're locked in your own thoughts in your room?
 
Wanderer145 said:
I've actually lost count of the amount of times it comes to the end of the week after work and everyone goes back home to their friends/partners and I take the long train back to my home town where I know no one walk the route back to my house go up to my room and sit back on the laptop...

I don't have any friends to hang out with..

What do you do when the weekend starts and how do you avoid the feeling when you're locked in your own thoughts in your room?

find something you like doing on a weekend. Cycling, fishing, running, travelling to different towns, taking photographs, sports etc
 
Triple Bogey said:
find something you like doing on a weekend. Cycling, fishing, running, travelling to different towns, taking photographs, sports etc

I cycle all day on Sundays, I go back to the city explore around, go to the arcade and play some games...but I just feel like all the things I do are only for myself not with anyone else..Even when I do try to be more social it just gets me straight nowhere, art classes end with me talking to a few people and all of them going off on with their friends. Then its take the train home and rinse and repeat.
 
Triple Bogey has some good ideas. Check out meetup.com if you want to do something with a group of people.

Personally, I just spend my weekends at home binge Netflixing with a cold beer or two. I don't have the motivation to go out these days.

Last weekend I did happen to break routine and went out on a date. Dinner and an improv comedy show. No chemistry with my date but I think we both had a great time. I don't feel like that is something I can do often, though. It's kinda stressful and there isn't a long line of ladies who want to go out with me (nor just one lady who likes me enough to keep going out with me).
 
VeganAtheist said:
Triple Bogey has some good ideas. Check out meetup.com if you want to do something with a group of people.

Personally, I just spend my weekends at home binge Netflixing with a cold beer or two. I don't have the motivation to go out these days.

Last weekend I did happen to break routine and go out on a date. Dinner and an improv comedy show. No chemistry with my date but I think we both had a great time. I don't feel like that is something I can do often, though. It's kinda stressful and there isn't a long line of ladies who want to go out with me (nor just one lady who likes me enough to keep going out with me).

I do use meetup for art meets and the like to get to know some people, but I'm just left out in the cold don't really get much of a conversation going with people its normally me approaching talking and they say one or two lines and I just go because the response is so flat and unengaging.

Well man a date is a pretty good way to spend an evening, can't even remember the last time I went on a date.
 
I don't really suffer from weekends or vacations alone because I find things to look forward to that are more meaningful than TV/video games, and I'm naturally suited to being on my own. I spend all that time on writing, music, or studying something of interest.

I was watching a movie with spoken Spanish and English subtitles and realized that I knew just enough to translate a little on my own, but not enough to really speak the language. Since I have a lot of time this summer, I could learn and open up a whole new world of film and literature.

I think that common ground may be more important than common interests for making friends, so my suggestion would be groups centered around religion or lack thereof, lifestyle, or at work if you have time to talk to other people in your field. Try to cultivate friendships with people who have similar worldviews and goals.
 
Wanderer145 said:
I do use meetup for art meets and the like to get to know some people, but I'm just left out in the cold don't really get much of a conversation going with people its normally me approaching talking and they say one or two lines and I just go because the response is so flat and unengaging.

Well man a date is a pretty good way to spend an evening, can't even remember the last time I went on a date.

I can see how an art meetup wouldn't really lend itself to making friends.
Have you tried the singles groups?

I admit that it was a pretty good date, even though there weren't any sparks between us. It was nice to get out for a while after weeks of me being borderline reclusive. I found her on a dating website (or, rather, she found me). Online dating mostly sucks but without it, I probably wouldn't go out at all.
 
VeganAtheist said:
I can see how an art meetup wouldn't really lend itself to making friends.
Have you tried the singles groups?

I admit that it was a pretty good date, even though there weren't any sparks between us. It was nice to get out for a while after weeks of me being borderline reclusive. I found her on a dating website (or, rather, she found me). Online dating mostly sucks but without it, I probably wouldn't go out at all.

Man Online dating backfired so hard when I once tried it sent messages to some women got nothing back and just thought fresia this. Was a complete waste of time getting nothing back from any basic opening messages. I am thinking of trying it again and think I may have just had a bad experience based on that one site.

I don't know whats holding me back from the singles groups maybe its just going somewhere specifically designed to look for someone just seems a little odd for me. I believe in meeting people by chance but considering thats got me sweet nowhere, I'll have to give a try.
 
Wanderer145 said:
Man Online dating backfired so hard when I once tried it sent messages to some women got nothing back and just thought fresia this. Was a complete waste of time getting nothing back from any basic opening messages. I am thinking of trying it again and think I may have just had a bad experience based on that one site.

I don't know whats holding me back from the singles groups maybe its just going somewhere specifically designed to look for someone just seems a little odd for me. I believe in meeting people by chance but considering thats got me sweet nowhere, I'll have to give a try.

I can understand your frustration. I share it, in fact. I almost never get responses to my messages. I could send out 100 messages and only get 2 responses. And from those two, neither one would stick around to get to know me. ALL of my online dates have been from people sending me messages. Don't get me wrong, I only get maybe 1 or 2 messages in a 3 month period. I am not attractive by any means. People see me as a relatively safe pick and take a chance, I think.

You should definitely try a singles group on meetup. You don't have to use it to find your life mate. You are just using it to meet new people and get out of the house for a bit. You can use it to improve your social skills. You can use it as a way of gathering info (where the cool kids hang out, etc.) Maybe your life mate ends up being someone in the group or a friend of someone you met in the group. Never know.

Oh and if you need help with your online dating profile, let me know. I am no expert but I think mines turned out pretty well.
 
A person can always grab a six-pack and sit by a fire at night- somehow it becomes serenity instead of lonely and doing nothing....and that's what I'm gonna do tonight :)
 
I don't, on the contrary i love those evenings/nights, i just wish i lived completely alone, having my own place.
 
Beckett said:
I don't, on the contrary i love those evenings/nights, i just wish i lived completely alone, having my own place.

I've often wanted a place away from all the problems of the world. Sometimes it seems like the only way to see things clearly.
 
living in a house with very thick walls transforms some of those evenings into music rehearsals
 
Beckett said:
I don't, on the contrary i love those evenings/nights, i just wish i lived completely alone, having my own place.

At least I'm not alone in feeling this way... I do live alone & it's a best feeling in the world... I've lived with people before, family members & girl friends at the time, & though it has perks, I don't miss it at all...
 
sk66rc said:
At least I'm not alone in feeling this way... I do live alone & it's a best feeling in the world... I've lived with people before, family members & girl friends at the time, & though it has perks, I don't miss it at all...

For me, being and living still with some members of my family, means only attacks, fights, being verbally abused and sometimes hits, so the only moments i can be in peace, unhurt, and sane is when i'm away from them, that's why being along in my room specially when everybody else went out, it's the best time i can have, i watch my tv series, i chat with people online with my same interests, i play music, sing, etc and then i feel fine again.

This explains better my first reply on this thread.
 
Wanderer145 said:
Triple Bogey said:
find something you like doing on a weekend. Cycling, fishing, running, travelling to different towns, taking photographs, sports etc

I cycle all day on Sundays, I go back to the city explore around, go to the arcade and play some games...but I just feel like all the things I do are only for myself not with anyone else..Even when I do try to be more social it just gets me straight nowhere, art classes end with me talking to a few people and all of them going off on with their friends. Then its take the train home and rinse and repeat.

what about voluntary work ?
could get you involved with people, might find some friends doing that.
 
I try to get out, go on the street, find a lovely coffee shop and read my book, not every fun things need companion. You can enjoy by yourself.
 
Every weekend I go on an epic hike in the countryside. I like the feeling of being alone in the middle of nowhere. I suppose it's a poor substitute for a social life, but it beats spending all weekend indoors. I used to do a lot of that in the past and it wasn't good for me at all.
 

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