a few things at work

There is this new woman at work. She is roughly my age. She isn't that attractive, hasn't got a great figure but most of all not a very good personality. She is friendly enough but she complains a lot. I don't mind working with her but that's about it.

Anyway almost straight away people started saying 'get in there' to me. I laughed it off and said I wasn't interested. But it's become an 'in joke' at the moment and source of amusement for everybody but me.

This young lass this morning who is always going on at me to find a girlfriend, found out and started really going on about it. She said I should give her a chance, I shouldn't base everything on looks and then 'someone like you can't afford to be choosey'

I was annoyed at that so I said what you mean by that ? but she didn't answer. I said I wasn't interested and I don't base everything on looks at all. I like some women and I don't like others. Nothing to do with looks.

It's as though everybody has put me in this honeysuckle heap, the bottom 1% of people. Ugly ******* society or something. Not deserving of anybody nice or decent. The new starter, I am sure she is a nice person but I'm not interested. She probably isn't even single, everybody is presuming this because of how she appears.

Things like this just reinforce my complete lack of confidence. The lady who I like came in today and I couldn't motivate myself to talk to her that much. It just seemed so pointless. It all feels so hopeless. I hate it really, just want to be left alone.

Funny that isn't it we don't want to be alone but when situations like this happen and its being edged on and forced like that we do want to be alone. Just ignore it get on with your work but be friendly with the person even if she's not very likeable and is shallow how would you know if you dont talk to her? Look at it as another social experiment, just to see how you would do talking to a stranger.

Wanderer145 said:

Funny that isn't it we don't want to be alone but when situations like this happen and its being edged on and forced like that we do want to be alone. Just ignore it get on with your work but be friendly with the person even if she's not very likeable and is shallow how would you know if you dont talk to her? Look at it as another social experiment, just to see how you would do talking to a stranger.

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hopefully it will die down.

it's not the first time, I get ribbed all the time. It's annoying.

me and my lack of a girlfriend is a 'running joke' at work, all very amusing for people to have a good laugh at.

Bogey, just face it, you work with a bunch of idiots who have trouble looking at things from all angles. If they were in your shoes, they surely wouldn't want to be the running joke in the workplace. I don't get how people can say things and not put themselves in a similar situation and see how hurtful it might be. Just some stupid f***s in this world and we all all exposed to them.

beautiful loser said:

Bogey, just face it, you work with a bunch of idiots who have trouble looking at things from all angles. If they were in your shoes, they surely wouldn't want to be the running joke in the workplace. I don't get how people can say things and not put themselves in a similar situation and see how hurtful it might be. Just some stupid f***s in this world and we all all exposed to them.

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thanks.

I am glad I have 3 days off now

I was getting almost harassed about being single for a few months. A few people at the school were obsessed with finding me someone to marry because I'm not from here, and they wanted me to stay here. I would get red faced and embarrassed, and then it became a joke that would not stop.

Two things made it stop. I did actually date someone, and got dumped, so I don't know if they felt bad or what, but it calmed them down. And then a few other people that work with me stood up for me and told them it made me uncomfortable. I really should have became more assertive and stood up for myself, but I struggle being on the young end of scale at work.

I hope you can ignore it, and it goes away.

If I ever did meet somebody I wouldn't tell them at work anyway.
I'm sick of been a joke to them.

beautiful loser said:

Bogey, just face it, you work with a bunch of idiots who have trouble looking at things from all angles. If they were in your shoes, they surely wouldn't want to be the running joke in the workplace. I don't get how people can say things and not put themselves in a similar situation and see how hurtful it might be. Just some stupid f***s in this world and we all all exposed to them.

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This...exactly this, took the words right out of my mouth. Ignore the twits.

"Someone like you can't afford to be choosy"...

The nerve of some folks...
No matter what, one should never start clutching at every straw just because people tell him so. Don't let yourself get pushed into some kind of "desperate guy" corner. You're not a beggar, so don't let anyone make one out of you.

Rodent said:

"Someone like you can't afford to be choosy"...

The nerve of some folks...
No matter what, one should never start clutching at every straw just because people tell him so. Don't let yourself get pushed into some kind of "desperate guy" corner. You're not a beggar, so don't let anyone make one out of you.

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yes she said those words.

Women reject me and well fair enough it's their choice. But I have a choice as well. And there isn't anything I particular like about this new starter. So I am not interested. I don't see the problem with that. And this woman was saying 'but what's wrong with her ? You shouldn't base everything on looks !'

The thing is this new starter isn't very good looking, is big and overweight, has problems walking and has a dreary voice. They will all call her a dog. I would never do that. I am civil to her when she talks to me. There is a comic element to her, people will snigger behind her back. So to wind me up I get every joke under the sun. Which might be okay for 5 minutes but after a while it gets boring and tedious.

Triple Bogey said:

The thing is this new starter isn't very good looking, is big and overweight, has problems walking and has a dreary voice. They will all call her a dog. I would never do that. I am civil to her when she talks to me. There is a comic element to her, people will snigger behind her back. So to wind me up I get every joke under the sun. Which might be okay for 5 minutes but after a while it gets boring and tedious.

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I truly despise that kind of ignorance in the workplace (any place to be honest). I keep unfavourable observations of my coworkers to myself....I'm in a position with coworkers and management where I've got to be completely impartial during investigations and it's truly tested my character at times to have to advocate for someone I know is being deceitful in regards to an incident or has a poor attitude towards safety and the workplace in general. I think it best as a rule to not get involved with a coworker you see on a regular basis, it usually ends up going bad.

Be the better man 3B, it might not make you popular but in the end having your integrity intact trumps popularity.

I don't ever complain at work about my relationship status. I keep quiet about it.
Yet every time I walk in within 5 minutes somebody has mentioned it. Some patronizing honeysuckle like 'you'll meet somebody nice one day'
I shrug it off and say I'm not that bothered. People nag me about joining dating sites. Every woman I mention, they jump to conclusions and think I am wanting to go out with them.
Just very annoying.

just remembered what this other woman at work said to me last year

'have you thought about trying a dating site for ugly people ?'

I get the picture, they think I am ugly.

Bogey, you need to put some of those a-holes in their place. Should have said something like "no, but tell me the site you've been using and I'll join that one." Something to put them in their place...give it right back.

One of my friends said to me that I can't afford to be fussy at my age re. finding a partner and, although it stung, I also saw the truth in what she said. I am long past the first flush of youth and although I wouldn't have just anyone in order to have a partner, at the same time the people available do dwindle as you get older. (My friend is 16 years older than me and never married, so it isn't a case of what Bridget Jones would have called a 'smug married' person much younger than me getting at me.)
People can be cruel to the non married/non coupled, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It's not nice either for you, TB, or the lady who works with you. How would they like it if everyone started making jokes about something which is a sore spot in their lives?

beautiful loser said:

Bogey, you need to put some of those a-holes in their place. Should have said something like "no, but tell me the site you've been using and I'll join that one." Something to put them in their place...give it right back.

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I usually do, I don't take much crap.

Triple Bogey said:

beautiful loser said:

Bogey, you need to put some of those a-holes in their place. Should have said something like "no, but tell me the site you've been using and I'll join that one." Something to put them in their place...give it right back.

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I usually do, I don't take much crap.

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Why don't you use your golf skills? Demonstrate how to tee-off, using one of thier heads as a golf ball!!!

Edward W said:

Triple Bogey said:

beautiful loser said:

Bogey, you need to put some of those a-holes in their place. Should have said something like "no, but tell me the site you've been using and I'll join that one." Something to put them in their place...give it right back.

Click to expand...

I usually do, I don't take much crap.

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Why don't you use your golf skills? Demonstrate how to tee-off, using one of thier heads as a golf ball!!!

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Tsk tsk.. mischievous Eddy..

some of the women are nice at work, one bought me a birthday cake for example.
trouble is there is too much talking and not enough work.
So lots of honeysuckle gets talked about.

A lot of your coworkers sound gossipy and rude. I agree with the other commenters about making a snappy comeback. A few of those and they might start minding their own business.
May I gently suggest not having "someone like you can't be choosy" up by your name - it's one thing to have a Nosy Nelly muttering that at work, it's another thing to own it -don't own it

-Teresa