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How important are looks, to you ?
#41
(06-03-2014, 06:57 AM)Littlesecret Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 04:17 AM)painters radio Wrote: Most of the people I become close to these days (as friends or as lovers) I actually have no idea what they look like until I've already decided they're beautiful.

That's a lovely sentiment painters radio! 😌

(06-03-2014, 06:24 AM)beautiful loser Wrote: I'm one of the few men that really doesn't place much emphasis on a woman's looks. In fact, the sexiest, most complete woman I ever knew was just an average looking woman, with an average figure that most guys wouldn't even give a second glance, but my god she had an amazing mind. One of the few women that could make me laugh, constantly thought outside the box and was intriguing to be around. She was ten years older than me and had a snarky, sarcastic quality that could rival any 20-something. Then, could quickly shift gears and display a wisdom beyond her years. She was absolutely amazing. I haven't seen her in nine years but still think of her, from time to time, and wonder what she might be up to.

This is a lovely story, do you think you could ever reconnect with her? If that's what you want?

LS, no there is way to reconnect. She lives in Canada and I tried to move up there and look for a job on a six month visitor's visa. Had several job offers but Human Resources of Canada...or whatever the hell is was called...told the companies they wouldn't allow a work permit, which I can understand. Even though I believe in "never say never" I'm sure we will never run into each other again.
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#42
(06-03-2014, 08:05 AM)Littlesecret Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 07:58 AM)Regumika Wrote: With so many single females here.... the reason why you're still single is due to the fact that there just aren't any men out there with a beautiful mind? If, a beautiful mind is all it took.

EDIT: Then, lets do a simple "tally" with just simple numbers, no specifics (no names). How many males on here do you have a crush on? That you think has a beautiful mind?

Hey Regumika

Is this directed at me?

No, not at all, there are quite a bit of single females here (that have said so publicly) who have said that they wouldn't mind finding a companion (whose physical appearance doesn't matter). If you want to participate in this tally you could, you don't have to though. I'm just trying to see if a beautiful mind really is all it took (as many of the females have claimed).

Though, I'm not surprised if the number is low (no offense to any males here, I'm a male too, I could just be speaking for myself though).
"Easier said than done." Yes, but what else are you going to do about it?

"You can't feel the warmth of the fire if you have four layers on trying to keep the cold out."
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#43
I have to admit I need to be attracted to someone if I was attempting to approach them. Looks are subjective though so it works differently with different people. There are some women out there who dont think themselves to be very beautiful but some really are and they need reminding of it! In most cases they're not amazing super model looks but normal every day women. Some have really took my breath away with even not wearing make up. Course this is all based on looks at first glance and as time goes on with someone they don't really matter as much if you like the person underneath. The feeling of no matter how they look as they get older you still care for them as the person they grow into...
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#44
(06-03-2014, 08:54 AM)Wanderer145 Wrote: I have to admit I need to be attracted to someone if I was attempting to approach them. Looks are subjective though so it works differently with different people. There are some women out there who dont think themselves to be very beautiful but some really are and they need reminding of it! In most cases they're not amazing super model looks but normal every day women. Some have really took my breath away with even not wearing make up. Course this is all based on looks at first glance and as time goes on with someone they don't really matter as much if you like the person underneath. The feeling of no matter how they look as they get older you still care for them as the person they grow into...

And just for the record, men wants to hear the same thing. So speaking as if "looks don't matter to me" really doesn't help your male partner either.

Female: How do I look?
Male: I don't really care actually, but you're beautiful anyways.
Female: Does this make me look fat?
Male: It doesn't matter to me, you're beautiful.

Is that how it's done?
"Easier said than done." Yes, but what else are you going to do about it?

"You can't feel the warmth of the fire if you have four layers on trying to keep the cold out."
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#45
(06-03-2014, 08:30 AM)Regumika Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 08:05 AM)Littlesecret Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 07:58 AM)Regumika Wrote: With so many single females here.... the reason why you're still single is due to the fact that there just aren't any men out there with a beautiful mind? If, a beautiful mind is all it took.

EDIT: Then, lets do a simple "tally" with just simple numbers, no specifics (no names). How many males on here do you have a crush on? That you think has a beautiful mind?

Hey Regumika

Is this directed at me?

No, not at all, there are quite a bit of single females here (that have said so publicly) who have said that they wouldn't mind finding a companion (whose physical appearance doesn't matter). If you want to participate in this tally you could, you don't have to though. I'm just trying to see if a beautiful mind really is all it took (as many of the females have claimed).

Though, I'm not surprised if the number is low (no offense to any males here, I'm a male too, I could just be speaking for myself though).

Not everyone is interested or willing to be in a LDR.

I will admit there are some guys here that I would probably date....IF they lived near me. BUT, since they don't, it's irrelevant because I don't think I'm the type of person that could handle a LDR.

(06-03-2014, 09:00 AM)Regumika Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 08:54 AM)Wanderer145 Wrote: I have to admit I need to be attracted to someone if I was attempting to approach them. Looks are subjective though so it works differently with different people. There are some women out there who dont think themselves to be very beautiful but some really are and they need reminding of it! In most cases they're not amazing super model looks but normal every day women. Some have really took my breath away with even not wearing make up. Course this is all based on looks at first glance and as time goes on with someone they don't really matter as much if you like the person underneath. The feeling of no matter how they look as they get older you still care for them as the person they grow into...

And just for the record, men wants to hear the same thing. So speaking as if "looks don't matter to me" really doesn't help your male partner either.

I don't think I'm attractive and I don't want to hear that I am. I find it annoying. Yes, I will concede that other people don't have the same opinion of myself, but hearing it said by others isn't going to make me change my mind about myself. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm also not anything special. I consider myself slightly below average.
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#46
(06-03-2014, 09:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I will admit there are some guys here that I would probably date....IF they lived near me. BUT, since they don't, it's irrelevant because I don't think I'm the type of person that could handle a LDR.

This was all I was looking for, a crush, an interest. "some"

Anyone else? (females)
"Easier said than done." Yes, but what else are you going to do about it?

"You can't feel the warmth of the fire if you have four layers on trying to keep the cold out."
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#47
(06-03-2014, 09:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I don't think I'm attractive and I don't want to hear that I am. I find it annoying. Yes, I will concede that other people don't have the same opinion of myself, but hearing it said by others isn't going to make me change my mind about myself. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm also not anything special. I consider myself slightly below average.

You see yourself as you others see you completely differently so someone would see you as attractive to them, again on the point of subjectivity. I don't consider myself incredibly attractive in fact more average than anything else but somedays I love how I look when I see my reflection others I'm like jesus what happened to you? Even if it doesn't change your mind its good to know you're seen that way by someone else don't you think?
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#48
(06-03-2014, 09:13 AM)Wanderer145 Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 09:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I don't think I'm attractive and I don't want to hear that I am. I find it annoying. Yes, I will concede that other people don't have the same opinion of myself, but hearing it said by others isn't going to make me change my mind about myself. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm also not anything special. I consider myself slightly below average.

You see yourself as you others see you completely differently so someone would see you as attractive to them, again on the point of subjectivity. I don't consider myself incredibly attractive in fact more average than anything else but somedays I love how I look when I see my reflection others I'm like jesus what happened to you? Even if it doesn't change your mind its good to know you're seen that way by someone else don't you think?

I'm sure it makes most females feel good to hear those things, but I'm not one of those females. I don't need words. Actions have always been more important to me than words. If you're attracted to me and think I'm gorgeous or whatever, SHOW me you feel that way, don't just tell me.
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#49
(06-03-2014, 09:21 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 09:13 AM)Wanderer145 Wrote:
(06-03-2014, 09:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I don't think I'm attractive and I don't want to hear that I am. I find it annoying. Yes, I will concede that other people don't have the same opinion of myself, but hearing it said by others isn't going to make me change my mind about myself. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm also not anything special. I consider myself slightly below average.

You see yourself as you others see you completely differently so someone would see you as attractive to them, again on the point of subjectivity. I don't consider myself incredibly attractive in fact more average than anything else but somedays I love how I look when I see my reflection others I'm like jesus what happened to you? Even if it doesn't change your mind its good to know you're seen that way by someone else don't you think?

I'm sure it makes most females feel good to hear those things, but I'm not one of those females. I don't need words. Actions have always been more important to me than words. If you're attracted to me and think I'm gorgeous or whatever, SHOW me you feel that way, don't just tell me.

I like the way you think. And it goes beyond just attractiveness. Appreciation? show it. Love? show it. Adoration? show it. Words are often... pretty cheap.
"Easier said than done." Yes, but what else are you going to do about it?

"You can't feel the warmth of the fire if you have four layers on trying to keep the cold out."
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#50
(06-03-2014, 09:00 AM)Regumika Wrote: And just for the record, men wants to hear the same thing. So speaking as if "looks don't matter to me" really doesn't help your male partner either.

Female: How do I look?
Male: I don't really care actually, but you're beautiful anyways.
Female: Does this make me look fat?
Male: It doesn't matter to me, you're beautiful.

Is that how it's done?

Looks are not my first or even second priority when finding someone. I've liked and seen people in the past that would be considered very handsome but I didn't connect with them. Not saying I've connected with everyone that by society standards are demeaned unattractive but percentage wise I have been more attracted and connected a lot better with them.

I think this is a hard question to answer for most because we all live different lives and meet potential partners differently, It just takes one time to fall for someone you weren't initially attracted but began to find their personality so engaging it made you see them in a totally different light, and it can make you change your whole philosophy on this subject.

Just like the other way round, there was this guy from university that all the girls found attractive including myself and after a few conversations with him I realised how boring I found him, like Sahara desert boring (if you catch my drift) automatic turn off.

To answer you initial question I don't know anyone well enough on here to say I have a crush but I'm definitely intrigued to find out more about them and see what develops.
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