My story begins in a small suburban city in the heart of Maryland. I was born the third in line from my Father, and the first in line of my Mother. Both my siblings are over 12 years older than me, and we have very little in common. My Sister is married to her second husband and currently lives about two hours from me. My brother has been going on seven years with his wife now, and they have two children. My parents had no children after me and are still together.
With such a age-gap, my first real memories of childhood were that of being brought up as an only child. Both my brother and sister were far out of state and I rarely saw them or heard from them. As an only child I developed quite the imagination. I had a few friends that I played with, and up until the fourth grade things were rather normal.
Within the summer of my fourth grade year, my parents and I moved states for my Dad's new job. In changing states, I changed schools for the last year of my grade school life. I attended one year in an elementary school before going to a middle school. That one lasted but another year before I changed school districts and went to my second middle school where I would eventually graduate and move to highschool.
My school experience was far less than desirable. I was not athletic, tan, or looking remotely the age I actually was. Later on we found out that I actually had some kind of hormone deficiency that kept my stunted from maturing physically. Mentally I coped quite well, but physically by the time I was in my senior year of high school, I peaked at a meager 4'11. I also looked about 12 years old. Considering high school in all it's glory, you can imagine that I was on the receiving end of the mocking, cruelty, and name calling. That all started back in sixth grade, so I was used to it through my high school career.
I might also mention that I was brought up as a Christian, and still am to this day. My beliefs are solid, grounded, and I am happy to have them still. This however made me less popular. I had a few friends who helped me out a few times, but even in my Church group I was never popular. I was also picked on, teased, and bullied in that scenario too. I led a very sheltered life, and rarely went out for anything other than a Church function. In the entire time I was in high school, I did not play sports, become part of a club, go to a school sports function, or attend a dance. The only attempt I made, was to attend the prom. Of which I asked three ladies out, and was politely turned down by all three. So that meant a night of N64 video games while prom went on.
I'll mention that I don't regret a lot of this, I'm not sure I missed anything that I would of really wanted to do anyway. By this time though, we had found out about the issue with my maturity, and sought medical help. I was given injections everyday for a year, and I sprouted to 5'9" and got a bit more mature looking. Also at this point, I had yet to go on a date, even though I tried once or twice to get a date. I was never looked at in that light.
After high school I went to a Bible college. (Not the most popular route for life, I understand.) I spent a total of five years in and off/on series of semesters before graduation. I had a few crushes during that time, but again, no dates. By the time I graduated college it was 2007, and I was in my early twenties.
Over the next eight years I found an apartment, and held various jobs. Even went without a job for two years, and still managed to pay the bills. I joined a Church of my own, and made some friends. During those three years there have been exactly three attempts at forming a relationship with someone I was attracted to. All three ended in failure of that goal. I'm still friendly with those women, but they have all moved on to find spouses of their own.
To give some further insight into this story, I should inform you that I am not the center of a party. I am the observant, quiet, introverted person. One-on-one, I'm perfectly fine, but I clam up in a group. I am a practicing magician. I have trained in fencing, and archery as well as side hobbies. I work in the IT industry as well, and have for the past three years. For 99% of my friendships with either gender, I am the one that must make plans, invite people to hang out, or call them. I can go through a daily routine for as long as I want to, and if I do not reach out to my friends, they will not reach out to me. This has been the pattern for my entire life. It does not change, even if I get new friends. I've done the experiment before - and my phone goes dead.
Recently I have even put a new experiment out. Wherein I purchased two tickets to the Mythbusters tour here in town. I freely offered anyone of my friends in the area the other ticket to join me for free. Not a single person has shown interest yet. So in essence, I can't even pay people to join me for an event apparently.
So there is my story. I'm 31, I've been perpetually single, and all my attempts to change that status have been null and void. My pool of potential mates though is very thin already. Even still, every single one of my friends on facebook (173) are all married, engaged, or dating. I have been to countless weddings, seen all of my friends become engaged, or start dating.
So why am I writing this? I'm not asking for pity, or fishing for sympathy. Despite my social status, I don't have much to complain about. I have a steady job, I pay my bills, I have no debt, and I generally can go and do what I want. For instance in the last two years I have taken trips to NYC and LA just because I wanted to see the city. I suppose though that I am wondering if this is the life I am destined for, or do I need to radically change something in my life to change this outcome I seemed to be heading for?
Thoughts and advice are welcome. Thank you.
With such a age-gap, my first real memories of childhood were that of being brought up as an only child. Both my brother and sister were far out of state and I rarely saw them or heard from them. As an only child I developed quite the imagination. I had a few friends that I played with, and up until the fourth grade things were rather normal.
Within the summer of my fourth grade year, my parents and I moved states for my Dad's new job. In changing states, I changed schools for the last year of my grade school life. I attended one year in an elementary school before going to a middle school. That one lasted but another year before I changed school districts and went to my second middle school where I would eventually graduate and move to highschool.
My school experience was far less than desirable. I was not athletic, tan, or looking remotely the age I actually was. Later on we found out that I actually had some kind of hormone deficiency that kept my stunted from maturing physically. Mentally I coped quite well, but physically by the time I was in my senior year of high school, I peaked at a meager 4'11. I also looked about 12 years old. Considering high school in all it's glory, you can imagine that I was on the receiving end of the mocking, cruelty, and name calling. That all started back in sixth grade, so I was used to it through my high school career.
I might also mention that I was brought up as a Christian, and still am to this day. My beliefs are solid, grounded, and I am happy to have them still. This however made me less popular. I had a few friends who helped me out a few times, but even in my Church group I was never popular. I was also picked on, teased, and bullied in that scenario too. I led a very sheltered life, and rarely went out for anything other than a Church function. In the entire time I was in high school, I did not play sports, become part of a club, go to a school sports function, or attend a dance. The only attempt I made, was to attend the prom. Of which I asked three ladies out, and was politely turned down by all three. So that meant a night of N64 video games while prom went on.
I'll mention that I don't regret a lot of this, I'm not sure I missed anything that I would of really wanted to do anyway. By this time though, we had found out about the issue with my maturity, and sought medical help. I was given injections everyday for a year, and I sprouted to 5'9" and got a bit more mature looking. Also at this point, I had yet to go on a date, even though I tried once or twice to get a date. I was never looked at in that light.
After high school I went to a Bible college. (Not the most popular route for life, I understand.) I spent a total of five years in and off/on series of semesters before graduation. I had a few crushes during that time, but again, no dates. By the time I graduated college it was 2007, and I was in my early twenties.
Over the next eight years I found an apartment, and held various jobs. Even went without a job for two years, and still managed to pay the bills. I joined a Church of my own, and made some friends. During those three years there have been exactly three attempts at forming a relationship with someone I was attracted to. All three ended in failure of that goal. I'm still friendly with those women, but they have all moved on to find spouses of their own.
To give some further insight into this story, I should inform you that I am not the center of a party. I am the observant, quiet, introverted person. One-on-one, I'm perfectly fine, but I clam up in a group. I am a practicing magician. I have trained in fencing, and archery as well as side hobbies. I work in the IT industry as well, and have for the past three years. For 99% of my friendships with either gender, I am the one that must make plans, invite people to hang out, or call them. I can go through a daily routine for as long as I want to, and if I do not reach out to my friends, they will not reach out to me. This has been the pattern for my entire life. It does not change, even if I get new friends. I've done the experiment before - and my phone goes dead.
Recently I have even put a new experiment out. Wherein I purchased two tickets to the Mythbusters tour here in town. I freely offered anyone of my friends in the area the other ticket to join me for free. Not a single person has shown interest yet. So in essence, I can't even pay people to join me for an event apparently.
So there is my story. I'm 31, I've been perpetually single, and all my attempts to change that status have been null and void. My pool of potential mates though is very thin already. Even still, every single one of my friends on facebook (173) are all married, engaged, or dating. I have been to countless weddings, seen all of my friends become engaged, or start dating.
So why am I writing this? I'm not asking for pity, or fishing for sympathy. Despite my social status, I don't have much to complain about. I have a steady job, I pay my bills, I have no debt, and I generally can go and do what I want. For instance in the last two years I have taken trips to NYC and LA just because I wanted to see the city. I suppose though that I am wondering if this is the life I am destined for, or do I need to radically change something in my life to change this outcome I seemed to be heading for?
Thoughts and advice are welcome. Thank you.
