My sister's social anxiety is ridiculous, and it's being pushed onto me

My sister's social problems are through the roof, and whenever we do something, she winds up ruining it. We always do things together, because 1. we have no friends
2. she is 18, and I'm not, so I can't go out by myself without my whole family stalking me. (They've done it before, I'm not lying.)

Whenever I ask if we can go on a walk, we always do the same thing: Avoid people at all costs, and go to the same places each time.

Whenever our little village has an event, like a 4th of July party at the park, she either doesn't want to go because "there is nothing to do there", or we go, and we sit there like weird people.

How can I become more, "free" from her?

She also cringes at the sight of boys for some reason. I heard her once tell her friend that she thinks she is bisexual, but to me, it seems she is more on the lesbian side.
This one time, we were just cruising down the sidewalk, and a group of boys were not too far behind us. She began telling me to "hurry", or "run", and she would try and get as far away from them as possible. It's ridiculous.

Update: This upcoming party for 4th of July, I plan on trying to go by myself, so I can see some of the people I use to go to school with. That's the main reason I want to get out. Because I want to make friends again.

Animelover10102 said:

Update: This upcoming party for 4th of July, I plan on trying to go by myself, so I can see some of the people I use to go to school with. That's the main reason I want to get out. Because I want to make friends again.

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I think this is really your best bet, make your own friends. Let your sister have her friends, and you have yours. Trust me! I have a sister not that far away in age and I had similar problems. If you go your separate way as in friends, it will also improve your relationship with your sister.

Totally agree with Nicolelt.You should invest in yourself and see if you can find friends to hang out with.But don't forget to help your sister man.I know social anxiety from personal experience.She's lucky she can still go out and take a walk.It's not so severe.

I'm certain she doesn't want to be that way.By the way,why would lesbians run away from boys? =D She probably wants to be like you and everyone else but has no control over it.See if you can get her professional help.Anxiety meds help but they won't completely destroy it.She needs to do that herself,with help of course.

My recommendation would be to go to a place other people your age who are shyish are likely to be. This would be a nice way to talk to someone who feels out of place and awkward as well, and you can probably avoid the forced group anxiety that you find at an organized youth event. Do you have an interest in a sport or hobby? That would be a great place to start.

The hardest thing in my opinion is to adopt the mindset that other people are shy too. If you can get yourself to believe that (it is often true) it becomes much easier to initiate conversation. Also try to remember this, if you never speak to them you probably talk to them again. So in the absolutely worst case if you do talk to them and they don't like you, you are no worse off. Now if somehow you talk to ten people and only one is someone you get along with, you now have a new person to talk to and won't even remember the other nine people.

stb said:

My recommendation would be to go to a place other people your age who are shyish are likely to be. This would be a nice way to talk to someone who feels out of place and awkward as well, and you can probably avoid the forced group anxiety that you find at an organized youth event. Do you have an interest in a sport or hobby? That would be a great place to start.

The hardest thing in my opinion is to adopt the mindset that other people are shy too. If you can get yourself to believe that (it is often true) it becomes much easier to initiate conversation. Also try to remember this, if you never speak to them you probably talk to them again. So in the absolutely worst case if you do talk to them and they don't like you, you are no worse off. Now if somehow you talk to ten people and only one is someone you get along with, you now have a new person to talk to and won't even remember the other nine people.

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Well, I'm getting better with talking to people (as I am shy as well.) Just this past Saturday, I even talked to a boy (which is really difficult for me to do)

I go to archery, so I interact with the kids there. I can talk to them because they are younger than me. But if someone is around my age or older, I have a difficult time speaking with them.

That's awesome I know three young women who are into archery now 14, 14 and 18. Two I took hunting for the first time last year and one prefers to shoot targets, all of which is great.

The more you talk to people with limited anxiety like the younger kids, the more comfortable you'll get in general. Try not to think to far ahead (boys) and just focus on the conversation. It sounds like you are doing great. Be yourself and be honest, then when people like you it will be for who you are, not who you think you should act like. Congratulations on your successful efforts, keep up the good work.