Should I give up on my best friend?

Advertise with us!
Shop on amazon
Find deals on ebay
Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Harry98

Harry98

Member
Joined
Jul 29, 2012
Messages
14
Reaction score
0
Location
Secret
Okay, so here is the story, but before that... I think I should introduce myself...So I am Harry, I am 16 years old.

So I got 1 new best friend, I know him this year and we have really a lot in common, we always talk the same sentence at the same time, is not like we copying or what... Me and him really have a good friendship. And my best friend, he used to smoke cigarettes, but he told me he only smoke like maybe once a week. But after that he told me he stopped smoking for a month. And I heard that he is going to buy cigarettes with his friends today... And I'm a kind of person who don't like my best friend smoking... So I told him just now, I said that, Now I really regret because you told me you stopped.Then he told me, I told you before right, I will try my best to stop right? , and I told you before the reason why I smoke right? , I told you before you will regret be my friends but you promise me that no matter what you will still be my best friends... Then I really nothing to said, I was waiting for him in the school until he go back only I cycle back home, then I changed my mind, I'm not going to wait for him anymore because I'm not in the mood... The reason he smokes because of depressions... So I was thinking, should I give up on him like unfriend him... or what? I'm kinda sensitive :/ I feel like giving up since he's not listening to me! So I need you people's suggestion... Thank you so much.
 
It sounds as if you are hurt and upset because your friend has not given up smoking although had had told you beforehand that he had given up. I am an ex smoker so know from experience how hard giving up can be. Before I finally gave up, I went through times when I would give up for a few days, then I would start again etc, so try not to be too hard on your friend for smoking again.
Could I ask you why it matters so much to you that your friend stops smoking? Why would you base being his friend or not being his friend on this one factor? Yes, it is an expensive and unhealthy habit, but it is his choice to make.
 
:/ You were right in some part... I'm a person who very very care about my best friend, especially about smoking... I just dont want him to smoke that's all, I really care every single thing... That is why I feel like being hurt and upset :/
 
I don't think you're his friend if you can't accept a single disagreement.

Let me quote your own self :
"You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You were here to be you, not to live someone else's life!"
Yet you can't apply this on your supposed best friend, wanting him to be perfect, wanting him not to be himself, to live someone else's life (your own).
 
It does sound like just a simple disagreement that isn't worth breaking up friendships over, to be honest... I know what you feel, because I don't like smoking either, as a matter of fact, I hate it, but... You can't get to control his life. Unless he's smoking around you, your house and your pets, I don't think you can really be angry at him that he smokes.

It's his choice. A bad one that will screw him over later on but there's nothing you can do besides let him know that you will support him if he decides to stop.
 
When I was 16, my best friend was having sex with multiple guys, doing drugs, smoking, and drinking. Guess what, I'm 24 now, and I have the same best friend! It's her life, if she wants to do that, go ahead. She is an awesome friend, and always there when I need her and we have lots of stuff in common. Friends like that are rare, why give up on something because you don't agree with something in their life? It goes two ways as well, I was dating a guy she hated, but she didn't stop being my friend because of it!

As long as he is not pressuring you into doing something you don't want too, why worry?
 
I quit so long ago because I didn't want to pay $1.00. That's to much. I have had friends and family die because of cigarette related illness. One of kids isn't a smoker. One quit. The other is going to smoke. I just stay out of the smoke and let her live life. Most of my friends don't smoke and some do. Everyone lives their life.
If he ask for help look to a few websites for advice. Some sates like California even mail you a quit kit and can get patches and things like that. However, son't offer help that is not asked for.
You have to decide to be a friend or not. You can't control anything in this life. Just be glad to know someone or move on
 
Harry98 said:
Okay, so here is the story, but before that... I think I should introduce myself...So I am Harry, I am 16 years old.

So I got 1 new best friend, I know him this year and we have really a lot in common, we always talk the same sentence at the same time, is not like we copying or what... Me and him really have a good friendship. And my best friend, he used to smoke cigarettes, but he told me he only smoke like maybe once a week. But after that he told me he stopped smoking for a month. And I heard that he is going to buy cigarettes with his friends today... And I'm a kind of person who don't like my best friend smoking... So I told him just now, I said that, Now I really regret because you told me you stopped.Then he told me, I told you before right, I will try my best to stop right? , and I told you before the reason why I smoke right? , I told you before you will regret be my friends but you promise me that no matter what you will still be my best friends... Then I really nothing to said, I was waiting for him in the school until he go back only I cycle back home, then I changed my mind, I'm not going to wait for him anymore because I'm not in the mood... The reason he smokes because of depressions... So I was thinking, should I give up on him like unfriend him... or what? I'm kinda sensitive :/ I feel like giving up since he's not listening to me! So I need you people's suggestion... Thank you so much.
Click to expand...

okay i hate people who smoke i know exactly what you talking about , should you give up being his friend here just listen to my advice because no one will understand unless you really really hate it.

most likely he will not stop smoking cigs and if he continues he will smoke a lot more cigs

if you see him smoke a cig and its really really effect you then let him go because this is going to be a problem that is going to keep coming up, and he will eventually say forget it i dont care im going to keep smoking if you do not like it o well

but if you think you can deal with it then keep him

the best thing to do right now is be a little distance torwards him and think about it and let days go by to see if you can take it ....

but its not a simple disagreement to you so people that is telling you this do not understand

i personally have friends that smoke i deal with it but i dislike it a lot
 
I've been where you've been. I despise smoking, and saw the majority of my friends get addicted. There is nothing you can do about it. Those that want to smoke, will. In the end I gave up trying to stop my friends smoking and just accepted them. They don't smoke in my car or in my house, but if we are out they will light up. You just have to decide what is more important to you, having this guy as your friend, or not knowing anyone who smokes
 
Let your friend do what he wants it's his body and his life, I can understand why you feel upset but to end a friendship over smoking is a silly idea. He might quit in the future but that's his decision, not yours. Friendship has a lot to do with comprise, my closest friend smokes and I don't but I would never tell her to stop (unless she asked for my opinion) because it's her choice, at some point she may give it up and I'll be there to encourage and congratulate her but until that point I'll let her live her life, and you should do the same.
 
Littlesecret said:
Let your friend do what he wants it's his body and his life, I can understand why you feel upset but to end a friendship over smoking is a silly idea. He might quit in the future but that's his decision, not yours. Friendship has a lot to do with comprise, my closest friend smokes and I don't but I would never tell her to stop (unless she asked for my opinion) because it's her choice, at some point she may give it up and I'll be there to encourage and congratulate her but until that point I'll let her live her life, and you should do the same.
Click to expand...

but to some people smoking cigs are like a pet peeve rather its that person choice or not, you know how someone is doing something that annoys you very very very much ? and you began to dislike that person because that person keep doing something that is annoying as hell ??? its like the same thing to him i understand even tho i can deal with the friends that smoke
 
daddymack said:
Littlesecret said:
Let your friend do what he wants it's his body and his life, I can understand why you feel upset but to end a friendship over smoking is a silly idea. He might quit in the future but that's his decision, not yours. Friendship has a lot to do with comprise, my closest friend smokes and I don't but I would never tell her to stop (unless she asked for my opinion) because it's her choice, at some point she may give it up and I'll be there to encourage and congratulate her but until that point I'll let her live her life, and you should do the same.
Click to expand...

but to some people smoking cigs are like a pet peeve rather its that person choice or not, you know how someone is doing something that annoys you very very very much ? and you began to dislike that person because that person keep doing something that is annoying as hell ??? its like the same thing to him i understand even tho i can deal with the friends that smoke
Click to expand...

Ending a friendship over a pet peeve? I honestly can't understand why smoking would annoy a person very very very much, unless they're are blowing it directly into the person's face.
No sorry I don't get what you mean, I haven't disliked any of my past friends because of one thing, it's normally a combination before I decide it's time to end a friendship.
If you can throw away a friendship that easy you weren't good friends in the first place.
My granddad died of lung cancer so I know the effects of smoking but you can not nag someone into quitting, and you shouldn't cut people out of your life because of it too, there needs to be more tolerance - but hey it's only my opinion!
 
Harry98 said:
So I was thinking, should I give up on him like unfriend him... or what? I'm kinda sensitive :/ I feel like giving up since he's not listening to me! So I need you people's suggestion... Thank you so much.
Click to expand...

It seems like a small issue to me to consider unfriending someone for smoking. Then again, I am not sure why his smoking bothers you so much. Have you ever thought about letting him make his own decisions?
 
I'm actually kind of stunned over this. What kind of a "best friend" would ditch someone over something that doesn't affect them at all? If it were an issue with alcohol or an illegal drug and the person was getting drunk or high and obnoxious all the time, I could understand that, but who cares if they smoke? I have asthma and can't be around smoke, but as long as I'm not an enclosed space with someone smoking, I honestly don't care what other people do.

You will probably never find a friend who doesn't have at least one annoying habit.
 
If I were in your shoes i'd stay on your friend about smoking just because its stupid, unless it really pisses him off then I'd chill out, but I wouldn't get emotionally invested in the outcome, its none of my business if someone wants to destroy their health.
 
Hey Harry, as what the others mostly have said, I don't think I can add on much more. But you can give advice to your friends for their own good, for good health whatsoever, but if they are not going to go with it, it doesn't mean that they are a different person.
 

Similar threads

DragonflytotheMoon
Would Like to Hear From Those Who are Bi Polar or Support Those Who are
Replies
14
Views
495
DragonflytotheMoon
DragonflytotheMoon
faye19
Cant find friends at college
Replies
4
Views
505
rayan
rayan
CenotaphGirl
My nature is... disgusting and sinful...
2
Replies
38
Views
2K
homelessincheshire
homelessincheshire
T
A guy....is it my fault? Did he display huge red flags??
Replies
17
Views
1K
movinggirl
movinggirl
CenotaphGirl
My brothers new gf is ugly
2 3
Replies
52
Views
3K
CenotaphGirl
CenotaphGirl

Latest posts

Back
Top