Why do I care what my parents think?

This thread was prompted by my mother's insistence that she regularly monitor the internet usage of my siblings and I. It bothered me that she could look at everything I did on the internet, and even though I don't necessarily have anything important to hide, I was still afraid that she would disapprove, disagree, or dislike any given thing that I did on the internet and prevent me from doing it, or otherwise punish me for it.

...but this doesn't just apply to that situation. As stated in my introduction, I don't like to express myself when around people with (indefinite) authority, especially my parents. I am somewhat haunted by the memories of their (usually unfair or unneeded) disapproval, and seem to have developed a fear of it happening again. It causes a lot of avoidance, and I usually mentally exaggerate how I think they will react to my actions, but I can't really help it. They are slightly more strict than your average parents, but I often anticipate a much worse reaction than what they actually do...I think (Usually. I'm not 100% sure, since I don't often express myself around them anyway).


Even if I exaggerate how I imagine their reactions will unfold, they are still strict, and are more likely than the average parent to disapprove of and restrict the things I do to some extent. A good example is my father, who is currently forcing me to accompany him to work even though I don't find it enjoyable.

I know that if I was persistent, maybe I could persuade him to let me leave without punishment, but I was too afraid of his possible reaction.

Even if my parent's initial reaction to one of my decisions is beneficial to me (for example, helping me with my loneliness) I still dislike it because it causes them to increase their control over me in the future.

I realize that maybe if I told them that they are causing me significant problems, that I would be happier if they refrained from making commands and forceful suggestions, and that I'd like to be sure that they won't, they could possibly listen to me and do as I ask...but I am much too afraid of doing such a thing...primarily because of the subject of this thread (the very issue itself). I fear their reactions, and I lack sincerity because I have been communicating with them in such "minimal" manner for quite a while. I can't think of a way to do it subtly.

This is an extremely annoying problem, and messes up most of the things that I do and want to do. I am completely under their control, as well as the control of my own false anticipations. and it's mostly my fault.

What should I do (about the core problem. the main focus is not any of the examples)? How should I do it? I'm stumped.

I get the feeling this post may have been disorganized. Sorry.

I think your parents still haven't understood the fact that you are growing up, having your own opinions. The worst you can do is go rebel with them, been there, done that. Don't.
They firstly should respect your privacy, no matter how strict they are, privacy is a human right above all. That's one of my main frustrations.
Best of luck. Pm me anytime. Later

Yeah...actually, I kind of changed my mind about how I thought I was overeacting and illogically overestimating their level of strictness. My dad recently told me I couldn't wear a white shirt, because I had worn a similar one the day before. I'm pretty sure they are actually as strict as I assumed.

To my experience, having been both child and parent, one of the most common paradoxes of human relationships is the parent's insistence they are doing the right thing for their child and the child's perception that their parents are intrusive and clueless to their(child's) needs.
I think because of your active, inquisitive and perceptive mind you have a marked propensity to "overthink" matters that are important to you. Just my opinion but i recognized this trait in myself too. Somehow you must find a way to instill trust towards you and garner their (your parents) respect for your adult human rights. This is certainly easy for me to type out, but only you can Know the exact action needed to achieve a solution and resolve the dilemma. Remember too, your maturity is rare for a person of such young age. That you are able to articulate yourself so well at 15 years of age can be intimidating to people less astute than yourself so you must allow for that also. I believe a person with your intelligence will find what you need, but i also know from experience, change will seem excruciatingly slow at times... like i titled my original post: There is no place for intelligence on Earth! lol j/k. Keep your sense of irony/humor alive and well.