Living alone and not being afraid

I thought about putting this under loneliness, but it's not a true loneliness problem.

Anyways, all my life I have either lived with my parents, or with roommates, or with a boyfriend. Now I live in a house all by myself (except for my ever growing animal kingdom), and I love it! It really is the greatest thing ever. I have a place of zen, and I can be me without any judgement. I can be messy (as in things like leave my shoes by the front door), and when I decide to change something, I can change it!

Lately though I have had one problem, and it's starting to affect how I sleep. During the day I am not paranoid about being bothered, but at night when I go to bed paranoia kicks in. I have no idea why. I don't live in an area where there is a bunch of crime. I have two dogs that would at least bark and wake me up if something wrong was going on. But I still wake up in the middle of the night freaked out. I get up at least once a night now and turn on all of my lights and double check locked doors and go back to bed.

I have never been this way before! I don't know what it is, the only thing I can think of is when I lived with people, I had that comfort that there was someone else there to back me up or something to that affect. I really wish I could get it too stop.

Does anyone else have this problem? Or suggestions on how to fix it?

I can relate to this. The hardest part for me was getting used to the sounds at night. It’s so quiet with no one in the house, and I’m not used to it, so I guess every sound gets amplified in my mind. They’re all normal sounds--animals walking outside, the house, etc--but they frighten me sometimes anyway. There was always some unexplained soft noise somewhere that I found myself getting up to investigate. So I started sleeping with soft music playing. It helps with the silence and distracts me from the normal but disconcerting noises. I imagine if there ever were a serious problem, I could still hear well enough to detect it. I don’t know whether you can sleep with music; some people can’t. But anything you can do to distract yourself from what might seem like unnatural quiet will probably help.

I can relate. i moved into my first place a few months ago, and i had the same kind of nervous fears. it just kind of went away as i settled into a routine and got comfortable within my new walls. sorry i cant offer a better solution, since im not sure what eased my own fears.

i keep a home defense "tool" by my bed too, but thats just a false sense of security.

Sigh, I have this issue. I get up many nights to double check windows, doors, alarm. I even check everyone's breathing -.-

baseball bat under the bed

I don't want to give you new ideas, but I have the same problem with ghosts or supernatural dangers (the price you pay for watching horror movies for most of one's life) - for years now I stopped watching any kind of horror movie, which is a pity because I loved them, and it works unless I think about it, sort of "the Devil doesn't exist unless you mentioned it" philosophy

oh wait, I mentioned it! What's that noise in the other room?!
AAAAAHHHHH GGGhhhggggaaggg

Oblomov said:

So I started sleeping with soft music playing. It helps with the silence and distracts me from the normal but disconcerting noises. I imagine if there ever were a serious problem, I could still hear well enough to detect it. I don’t know whether you can sleep with music; some people can’t. But anything you can do to distract yourself from what might seem like unnatural quiet will probably help.

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I actually used to listen to relaxing noises when I went to bed at my old apartment. I might have to start that again.

Peaches said:

baseball bat under the bed

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Lol, I should totally do that. Although....I saw a machete at Wal-Mart....that would be even scarier, and if people were in my house they might think I'm crazy and get the hell out!

Well, I have a routine where I check everything is off and locked in the house before I go to bed, I know its locked/off and I can sleep easy (I just went straight to the OCD checking before bed phase instead of waking up during the night)

Prolly wouldn't be a bad idea to get a firearm next to the bed, in a nightstand or something, it would be more safe than a bat. A full grown man could probably overpower you and snatch it. Especially being a woman living alone. Who knows if some creeper might try an get in your house. He wouldn't be much of a threat after you shot his ass .

I know having that sort of protection would help me sleep better.

Nicolelt said:

Oblomov said:

So I started sleeping with soft music playing. It helps with the silence and distracts me from the normal but disconcerting noises. I imagine if there ever were a serious problem, I could still hear well enough to detect it. I don’t know whether you can sleep with music; some people can’t. But anything you can do to distract yourself from what might seem like unnatural quiet will probably help.

Click to expand...

I actually used to listen to relaxing noises when I went to bed at my old apartment. I might have to start that again

Peaches said:

baseball bat under the bed

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Lol, I should totally do that. Although....I saw a machete at Wal-Mart....that would be even scarier, and if people were in my house they might think I'm crazy and get the hell out!

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the machete is dangerous, if you don't tuck it well under the bed you lose your feet!

hey, all these are jokes, if that wasn't clear - having weapons is the house is usually more dangerous than not having them, unless you live in Middle Ages mongolia or something (Texas?)

Besides a machete, scythe or whatever creepy weapons you can think of under the bed, I think it's important to have a friend or relative who lives close to call to in a case of distress so you have company in case something really happens. It's important to have a safety network.

(In two years I might be moving out to a another town for college and I'll be in my own apartment too. I'm already saving for an axe.)

You should maybe fall asleep with the tv on. First I find that helps me feel better and second if someone does break in... they will think you are awake and likely will leave.

I just moved into a new home and the noises are hard. I know some day I won't even hear them. I am much more concerned about fire or something like that but even I realize how completely unlikely that is. I try to go back to sleep.

MrPaul said:

Well, I have a routine where I check everything is off and locked in the house before I go to bed, I know its locked/off and I can sleep easy (I just went straight to the OCD checking before bed phase instead of waking up during the night)

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I do that, lock everything before I go to bed.

Ymir said:

Besides a machete, scythe or whatever creepy weapons you can think of under the bed, I think it's important to have a friend or relative who lives close to call to in a case of distress so you have company in case something really happens. It's important to have a safety network.

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Problem is, my closest friend is an hour away. So that won't work.

Firearms are great home defense tools, if you have the proper training first. I wouldnt just buy a gun and hope you can operate it correctly when the time comes.

Got nervous reading the opening post, as all I could think of was that this is exactly how my mother would feel on a daily basis if I ever left her. But back to the topic.
Many things have been suggested. TV on, night lamp (used to have one until around 10 years old), knife under the pillow or katana on a night stand. You can also modify your house by having a escape route under your bed like some mad scientist.
Time to time, I also get this feeling at night when alone. I´m mostly safe, as I dont go to sleep and go when the sun rises (I have a job that allows me to stay late and wake up late).
If you want to go even further, you can set up a trip-wire on your doorstep. But dont freak out when one of your dogs steps on it during the night