I celebrated the 1st day of summer by making good on my promise to start a meetup group aimed primarily at asexuals, celibates, virgins, and other types who've been shamed by the Propaganda Machine.
I did so partly for myself---I'm very choosy and I know what I'm looking for in a woman---but mostly I did it because I got tired of seeing so many "I'm so lonely, boo hoo" posts on an asexuality forum I've belonged to for a few years.
I knew before I started the group that the dynamics would be different from all the run-of-the-mill singles groups, where the men compete for the attention of a limited number of women... but I know from attending prior meetups that the reverse holds true for asexual and celibate meetups, where you'll always, always end up with more women attending.
As a man, I know firsthand that shame is a big factor in keeping many asexual and celibate men in the closet... that's one way in which the dynamic is different. Another is the lopsided ratio of women to men... this puts the women in the awkward position of having to compete against each other as they pursue the men---the exact opposite of what our culture teaches them to do. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe, but as a host I understand the need to be prepared to help my guests deal with these eventualities.
Anyhow, for better or worse, about a dozen people have joined, so it's up to me to be a good host. I'd like to put on costume parties and potlucks for them in their quest to meet that special someone... at meetups where they can feel like they're in their element and shame isn't invited to the party.
I did so partly for myself---I'm very choosy and I know what I'm looking for in a woman---but mostly I did it because I got tired of seeing so many "I'm so lonely, boo hoo" posts on an asexuality forum I've belonged to for a few years.
I knew before I started the group that the dynamics would be different from all the run-of-the-mill singles groups, where the men compete for the attention of a limited number of women... but I know from attending prior meetups that the reverse holds true for asexual and celibate meetups, where you'll always, always end up with more women attending.
As a man, I know firsthand that shame is a big factor in keeping many asexual and celibate men in the closet... that's one way in which the dynamic is different. Another is the lopsided ratio of women to men... this puts the women in the awkward position of having to compete against each other as they pursue the men---the exact opposite of what our culture teaches them to do. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe, but as a host I understand the need to be prepared to help my guests deal with these eventualities.
Anyhow, for better or worse, about a dozen people have joined, so it's up to me to be a good host. I'd like to put on costume parties and potlucks for them in their quest to meet that special someone... at meetups where they can feel like they're in their element and shame isn't invited to the party.
