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ShybutHi

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If you had someone as a friend on facebook for example, but you did not really know the person, would you ever initiate conversation with the person if you found them attractive and they seemed interesting to you?
 
It depends. If female then yes.
If male, then no.
I believe men ought to do the chasing.
 
Personally speaking, if a girl wanted to be chased in order to verify my interest, then she is simply not mature enough for my taste. I don't play games in matters of love.
 
Well I don't mean chasing in the literal sense, I mean initiating things.
Thats one lesson I learned in life.
Guys ask girls out, and girl lets man lead. I'm old fashioned like that. Because for me, personally, I need to see his courage and interest.
 
Ok I see :) I think in my seriousness in matters of love I may take a perspective which is closer along the lines of old fashioned romantics, but I like that men are not always the ones who show interest toward the opposite sex nowadays. I think it is nice for a woman to show interest, I believe it true that pretty much any human being likes to receive interest from the opposite sex.
Courage and confidence in this area is certainly a huge bonus, whether male or female, it seems to make you more attractive.
 
ShybutHi said:
Ok I see :) I think in my seriousness in matters of love I may take a perspective which is closer along the lines of old fashioned romantics, but I like that men are not always the ones who show interest toward the opposite sex nowadays. I think it is nice for a woman to show interest, I believe it true that pretty much any human being likes to receive interest from the opposite sex.
Courage and confidence in this area is certainly a huge bonus, whether male or female, it seems to make you more attractive.

Yes, I can see how men would like it, especially if your introvered and shy,
And don't get me wrong, I would love nothing better than to approach a shy introvered man and make conversation, to me they are much more attractive than extroverts, but I have had enough experience to know that even though men do love it, and even use it to their advantage at times, I prefer to smile and let them know they are attractive without too much desperation seeping out.
It's a subtle dance. I wish you all the best, and I hope if she dosen't ask you first, you ask her.

good luck
 
hehe actually there is not someone I am thinking of messaging, it was just a hypothetical situation and I wondered what people's opinion's on it were.

Everyone has their personal way of handling a situation like that and everyone is entitled to go about it in their own way that is for sure. :)

I do think it is a shame for either a man or a woman to miss an opportunity with someone whom they are attracted to and interested in due to them deciding to just be completely passive... We only live once after all!

It has happened to me in the past and I have vouched to change my ways in that area.
Why do you say "let them know they are attractive without too much desperation seeping out?". Showing interest does not necessarily involve any kind of desperation whatsoever for either sex, it is flattering for either sex for someone to show interest.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who do not seem to place much value on attraction and love, it is just something more of a game, something which is fun, than something special with a seriousness attached to it. I do not really think it should be taken so lightly by so many, although that said, I think the majority who perceive relationships in that way are younger people in their teens.
I personally do not like the idea of a woman acting passive in matters of love and attraction as it sort of devalues the seriousness of a relationship and attraction for the man, it should be mutual in effort and if it does not work then you should be honest with each other about it. How can I know the woman is not stringing me along in a situation where they are acting so passively?
You get men who are in it just for one thing and even some women sometimes too, but some men are in it for a grander purpose and that is companionship and mutual love.
 
ShybutHi said:
hehe actually there is not someone I am thinking of messaging, it was just a hypothetical situation and I wondered what people's opinion's on it were.

Everyone has their personal way of handling a situation like that and everyone is entitled to go about it in their own way that is for sure. :)

I do think it is a shame for either a man or a woman to miss an opportunity with someone whom they are attracted to and interested in due to them deciding to just be completely passive... We only live once after all!

It has happened to me in the past and I have vouched to change my ways in that area.
Why do you say letting them know they are attractive without too much desperation? Showing interest does not necessarily involve any kind of desperation whatsoever for either sex, it is flattering for either sex for someone to show interest.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who do not seem to place much value on attraction and love, it is just something more of a game, something which is fun, than something special with a seriousness attached to it. I do not really think it should be taken so lightly by so many, although that said, I think the majority who perceive relationships in that way are younger people in their teens.

I don't know if your lady or a man, and you don't say if you have ever had your heart broken, and even if you had, you have my thumbs up...
because I could never approach a man. FULL STOP. I can smile at them, I can dance round them. I can even ask them to move their arse if I was a manager, But You won't ever find me idly chatting to a man I fancy.

those I don't fancy, well thats a different story.


edit for spelling
 
Ohhhh x"porious, that is such a shame in my eyes though. It is possible you could miss something great!

You really wouldn't talk to a man who you found really really attractive? :p
Attraction goes both ways!


btw to clarify, I am male. I have never had my heart broken, no.
 
what I meant was, that I wouldn't talk to a guy that I found attractive first I am sorry if I misled you.
This is the whole of the thread.

I hope you don't get your heart broke too!!
 
ShybutHi said:
If you had someone as a friend on facebook for example, but you did not really know the person, would you ever initiate conversation with the person if you found them attractive and they seemed interesting to you?

I wouldn't have them on my FB in the first place. I only add people I know.

I often initiate conversations with people online though. I have to, since people generally do not initiate conversations with me (and rarely reciprocate even when I do).

I'm a socially anxious introvert and I also have Asperger's, so the "subtle dance" that x"porious speaks of is usually lost on me.
 
Yeah that kind of thing is usually lost on me too. I have too much too little experience with flirting or gauging interest from women. If any truly have tried it with me, then they have certainly been far too subtle about it! :p
 
You Aspies are hot but maybe you don't know it.

It is soooooo annoying to meet one and flirt and have them look at you like you are some kind of loose wire.
Its like you are in a world of your own and oblivious to any signals we give.

Its like flirting with Data
 
I don't have Asperger's but am just terrible at it all because of lack of experience, in the past social anxiety, and not wanting to assume wrongly that there is attraction there and thus potentially look a bit of a fool.

I know a girl who is friendly towards people, she is a very honest person. very nice with a kind heart, and has especially directed her friendliness towards me in the past a lot, even when I have not really reciprocated due to my social anxiety that I used to have. I can see how some could easily consider it flirting or showing interest, yet really it is just how she is... just a very friendly person.
A lot of my female friends are very nice people in that regard, nearly all the female friends I have had are very friendly but quite shy towards me. So to me for a woman to act very friendly with me is actually totally normal. That makes it hard to differentiate between romantic interest and attraction or just friendliness.
 
ShybutHi said:
If you had someone as a friend on facebook for example, but you did not really know the person, would you ever initiate conversation with the person if you found them attractive and they seemed interesting to you?

why not ?

easy to write messages. At worst they delete you.
 
Triple Bogey said:
ShybutHi said:
If you had someone as a friend on facebook for example, but you did not really know the person, would you ever initiate conversation with the person if you found them attractive and they seemed interesting to you?

why not ?

easy to write messages. At worst they delete you.

I really should of clarified, I meant with the intention of potentially asking them to meet up for a date.
 
[quote='x"]
You Aspies are hot but maybe you don't know it.

It is soooooo annoying to meet one and flirt and have them look at you like you are some kind of loose wire.
Its like you are in a world of your own and oblivious to any signals we give.

Its like flirting with Data
[/quote]

If you know this then maybe you should spare yourself the annoyance and be more direct. :p
 
Solivagant said:
[quote='x"]
You Aspies are hot but maybe you don't know it.

It is soooooo annoying to meet one and flirt and have them look at you like you are some kind of loose wire.
Its like you are in a world of your own and oblivious to any signals we give.

Its like flirting with Data

If you know this then maybe you should spare yourself the annoyance and be more direct. :p
[/quote]
You Aspies are hot but maybe you don't know it.

It is soooooo annoying to meet one and flirt and have them look at you like you are some kind of loose wire.
Its like you are in a world of your own and oblivious to any signals we give.

Its like flirting with Data.

:p:p
 
x"] [quote='Solivagant said:
[quote='x"]
You Aspies are hot but maybe you don't know it.

It is soooooo annoying to meet one and flirt and have them look at you like you are some kind of loose wire.
Its like you are in a world of your own and oblivious to any signals we give.

Its like flirting with Data

If you know this then maybe you should spare yourself the annoyance and be more direct. :p
[/quote]
You Aspies are hot but maybe you don't know it.

It is soooooo annoying to meet one and flirt and have them look at you like you are some kind of loose wire.
Its like you are in a world of your own and oblivious to any signals we give.

Its like flirting with Data.

:p:p
[/quote]

I'm lost. Are you flirting with me? :p
 

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