How To Deal With This Problem

Ugh... I know it is a bit off but I cannot help but think of how I am going to handle my sister's wedding. I think it might just be my paranoia, but still I do not want to deal with that crap. I mean I have been to plenty of weddings. However, I am rarely a close part of the wedding. The closest I have been is a friend to the groom. The groom in question had never introduced me to any of his other friends so the wedding creeped by silently. I guess that i just how things worked out or something. However, my sister is going to be a different beast, or I guess I think it will be.

I have noticed that there are a lot of people my age with one common trait, nostalgia. The problem is that I might get subjugated to my sister's friends wanting to pretend that they knew me back when we were younger. You know the losers who pretend that we were friends of some kind. Even though I know they would not be able to recall any event where we would have done something casual together. I want to think of the best way to get rid of them. There is no point in even speaking to them. You know since the chances of me ever seeing any of those friends again is well as close to zero as you can get. I do not want to waste my time playing nice with a bunch of females who I am never going to see again. I need a way to disable these females in just a sentence or two so I can go back to playing video games.

I was thinking that maybe I could print up a flyer or something that I could hand them. Gently explaining to them in so many words that I do not know them, and they do not know me. Since that is the case they should go bother someone they actually know instead of bothering me. Somewhere in there I will squeeze in a bit about how the will likely never see me again. However, I should take my sister into consideration here. I mean it is her wedding and I should do my best to not completely ruin it for her. So I guess I could talk.. but I do not want to expel the energy to even look at the people much less speak. It is a waste of my time. At least with the new people who had heard murmurs about me it is easier to deal with.

I mean for the people who have heard I exist I can just point out they confirmed my existence and now they can go away because they will never see me again. That would be sufficiently rude enough for the person to go away. I do not know maybe I am over thinking this. I mean telling someone that I have no significant memories of them and therefore they are not even on the same level of an acquaintance with me should be enough to drive them away. I do not know.. I mean plus I get to have my mom hovering over me the whole time. That is another annoying thing that I know will happen.

I am pretty sure I am over-thinking this. However, I just need to be prepared for the obnoxious few who might try to speak to me. Though I am pretty sure that I will likely end up sitting in the corner playing which ever portable system I happen to bring along. I mean I do not want to make a spectacle of myself and bring a bag of manga with me. Oh well, I guess I still have several months to think about this.. I just needed to clear my head a bit that is all.

Well that's horrible to go through something you don't wish to go through which only lets you to think about it over and over again which then makes the situation worse in your head. Maybe it won't be that bad. Are you trying to find other ways to avoid talking to people at your sister's wedding?

Just take a bunch of xanax and get the night over with. Sounds like it's gonna be a nightmare. I hate weddings.

I would ask to not be a part of it. There's nothing wrong with just sitting in the audience. You're still there, showing your support. But you don't really have to be a part of it. I wasn't apart of my brother's. Took some pictures was about all I did at the actual ceremony.

**** Dude, why in the hell would you want to close the door before it even opens?

About the flyer- bad idea and kind of tacky to be honest. It's your sisters wedding, not an event for you to make a statement. You printing something like that flyer will be stealing some of the thunder on her big day. It comes across as a way for you to be seeking attention rather than deflecting it....bad idea Hoss, don't pull that honeysuckle.

Now about the "I have noticed that there are a lot of people my age with one common trait, nostalgia. The problem is that I might get subjugated to my sister's friends wanting to pretend that they knew me back when we were younger. You know the losers who pretend that we were friends of some kind. Even though I know they would not be able to recall any event where we would have done something casual together. I want to think of the best way to get rid of them. There is no point in even speaking to them. You know since the chances of me ever seeing any of those friends again is well as close to zero as you can get. I do not want to waste my time playing nice with a bunch of females who I am never going to see again. I need a way to disable these females in just a sentence or two so I can go back to playing video games."- are you serious??? Here's an opportunity for you to have a little fun, possibly create some memories, and you want to play video games!!!! Holy honeysuckle Batman, you can play games anytime....personally I think people need to throw those useless ******* contraptions away, shut off the T.V., and get out and do something meaningful. You've got an opportunity to cut loose, maybe even meet someone that can change your life and alls you want to do is hide?

Instead of dwelling on this you'd be better off preparing for it....get into a dance school and learn some moves, learn some cool card tricks, fresia, do anything but sit there thinking of worst case scenarios and finding the best form of people repellant available.

ladyforsaken said:

Well that's horrible to go through something you don't wish to go through which only lets you to think about it over and over again which then makes the situation worse in your head. Maybe it won't be that bad. Are you trying to find other ways to avoid talking to people at your sister's wedding?

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I figured I would just go to the Ceremony and skip the reception.. that is something that I thought I might do.. but I hate missing out on free food.... still given the cost of getting that food I might just skip out.... even if my mom will call me and yell at me.

jjessea said:

Just take a bunch of xanax and get the night over with. Sounds like it's gonna be a nightmare. I hate weddings.

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I do not have any xanax

VanillaCreme said:

I would ask to not be a part of it. There's nothing wrong with just sitting in the audience. You're still there, showing your support. But you don't really have to be a part of it. I wasn't apart of my brother's. Took some pictures was about all I did at the actual ceremony.

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I made it 100% clear that my presence was all my sister was going to get. I am worried about after the ceremony

WildernessWildChild said:

**** Dude, why in the hell would you want to close the door before it even opens?

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Because I live on one coast and my sister lives on the other. The door gets closed at the end of the night regardless.

WildernessWildChild said:

About the flyer- bad idea and kind of tacky to be honest. It's your sisters wedding, not an event for you to make a statement. You printing something like that flyer will be stealing some of the thunder on her big day. It comes across as a way for you to be seeking attention rather than deflecting it....bad idea Hoss, don't pull that honeysuckle.

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Yeah plus I don't have a printer and it would cost too much to make more than like 5 fliers so why bother?

WildernessWildChild said:

Now about the "I have noticed that there are a lot of people my age with one common trait, nostalgia. The problem is that I might get subjugated to my sister's friends wanting to pretend that they knew me back when we were younger. You know the losers who pretend that we were friends of some kind. Even though I know they would not be able to recall any event where we would have done something casual together. I want to think of the best way to get rid of them. There is no point in even speaking to them. You know since the chances of me ever seeing any of those friends again is well as close to zero as you can get. I do not want to waste my time playing nice with a bunch of females who I am never going to see again. I need a way to disable these females in just a sentence or two so I can go back to playing video games."- are you serious??? Here's an opportunity for you to have a little fun, possibly create some memories, and you want to play video games!!!! Holy honeysuckle Batman, you can play games anytime....personally I think people need to throw those useless ******* contraptions away, shut off the T.V., and get out and do something meaningful. You've got an opportunity to cut loose, maybe even meet someone who can change your life and alls you want to do is hide?

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To quote one of my favorite TV shows I know but it brings me great comfort to know that I can play video games here too... not a direct quote, but you get the idea.

As for meeting someone... let me see...it is a little over 2700 miles from my place to my sister's wedding... It is 1300 miles from my place to my former hometown. Plus I know my sister's friends are scattered everywhere between where I live and where she lives. My sisters do not have loser friends like their brother. They lucked out in life and had a loser brother who they could false encourage. All their friends are social happy normal people. Who do not need to stoop to the desperate act of a long distance relationship to say they are not single. Not that I would ever waste my time on such a thing either.

Lucky for me though my sister's primary complaint about her friends, is the fact that they are all spawning or getting married. Yet another reason why I won't meet anyone who will change my life.

WildernessWildChild said:

Instead of dwelling on this you'd be better off preparing for it....get into a dance school and learn some moves, learn some cool card tricks, fresia, do anything but sit there thinking of worst case scenarios and finding the best form of people repellant available.

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People repellant is much easier though. To be honest people repellent is much more fun as well. I guess I could up my Japanese regiment so I can be semi-fluent at the wedding. Then I can just reply to them in another language. That would be amusing.

No it would be cringeworthy and fedora.

I get it. People are stupid and annoying, as are weddings and marriage in general. What a horrid display of idiotic narcissism. Sure, you probably wont come away from it with life-long friends or get to taste some sweet bridesmaid poontang, but that doesn't mean you have to be an ******* about it, does it? The other guests there wont be expecting great things from you at the wedding or in the future, either, but I think these small interactions with people have the potential for goodness. Would it really be so bad to potentially have an amusing conversation with someone, a real 'no strings attached' conversation? Someone you're not going to have to talk to ever again? Sometimes I think I prefer this thought, because, well, you're never going to have to talk to them again.

I'm not really sure if you are just very anti-social because you dislike people or if you are very afraid. Either way, enjoy the food, enjoy the drink (if you do), and remember it's just one day.

You need to treat this as an opportunity to make your sister's wedding even better by being a brother she is glad she invited. I agree that you should take dance classes. This is huge. Forget about the past and kick ass on the dance floor. If you do this, your image in the eyes of all of the reception-goers will be positive and everyone will remember fondly how you took this moment seriously and your sister will never be able to thank you enough.

And playing videogames at a reception? Seriously? If you value your self respect, you'll leave the games at home and enjoy the evening. You say you don't have Xanax, but you have time to schedule an appt with a Dr and say, "Hey Doc. I have serious anxiety about a wedding I'm going to. Could you give me something to ease the anxiety just for the wedding?" Boom. Problem solved.

Bottom line is, whatever you do, this is your sister's moment. Not yours. It's your job to be there and to make it a better experience for your sister. You can do it.

painter said:

No it would be cringeworthy and fedora.

I get it. People are stupid and annoying, as are weddings and marriage in general. What a horrid display of idiotic narcissism. Sure, you probably wont come away from it with life-long friends or get to taste some sweet bridesmaid poontang, but that doesn't mean you have to be an ******* about it, does it? The other guests there wont be expecting great things from you at the wedding or in the future, either, but I think these small interactions with people have the potential for goodness. Would it really be so bad to potentially have an amusing conversation with someone, a real 'no strings attached' conversation? Someone you're not going to have to talk to ever again? Sometimes I think I prefer this thought, because, well, you're never going to have to talk to them again.

I'm not really sure if you are just very anti-social because you dislike people or if you are very afraid. Either way, enjoy the food, enjoy the drink (if you do), and remember it's just one day.

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Hmm... well thanks to the internet no strings attached conversations have really lost their meaning to me.

It is not just one day, it is one day if it was local. It is... 3 days.. because I have to travel. True most of the days I can sequester myself away but it is still time that could be better spent.

Case said:

You need to treat this as an opportunity to make your sister's wedding even better by being a brother she is glad she invited. I agree that you should take dance classes. This is huge. Forget about the past and kick ass on the dance floor. If you do this, your image in the eyes of all of the reception-goers will be positive and everyone will remember fondly how you took this moment seriously and your sister will never be able to thank you enough.

And playing videogames at a reception? Seriously? If you value your self respect, you'll leave the games at home and enjoy the evening. You say you don't have Xanax, but you have time to schedule an appt with a Dr and say, "Hey Doc. I have serious anxiety about a wedding I'm going to. Could you give me something to ease the anxiety just for the wedding?" Boom. Problem solved.

Bottom line is, whatever you do, this is your sister's moment. Not yours. It's your job to be there and to make it a better experience for your sister. You can do it.

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It is too late to back out of the wedding... I do not want to pay a flight cancellation fee.. those are freaking expensive. That is the only way that I can think of to make the wedding better. However, I guess this will be a good chance to get my sister to finally stop lying to herself about how close we are. It would be nice to not have to worry about going to family functions ever again.

how does playing video games at the reception lower my self-respect? I mean... it is not like I like myself or anything like that. I find that depending on how you place yourself and if you appear occupied people won't even notice you. I do not really need drugs. If it is just for one night, why don't I get some cocaine or something like that? It will have the same effect no? Plus I know that cocaine is not designed to mess with my brain.

I am not sure if it is my job to make things better. It is my job to attend because my sister verbally asked me to attend.... other than that I have no obligations. Maybe we should discuss the best way to blend in.... hmmm...

Okay. Sometimes I get a bit carried away with the advice. I failed to see that you aren't interested in mingling with anyone. So, I apologize.

If you would rather be alone, do whatever it takes to make that happen. I hope it all works out for you and that any irritation is kept to a minimum.

Case said:

Okay. Sometimes I get a bit carried away with the advice. I failed to see that you aren't interested in mingling with anyone. So, I apologize.

If you would rather be alone, do whatever it takes to make that happen. I hope it all works out for you and that any irritation is kept to a minimum.

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I think I will study a way to just go straight to the hotel after the ceremony... problem is that my sister is having the ceremony in one place and the reception in another.

I'm tellin ya man, Xanax. They're cheap and easy to get through your GP. I keep them around SPECIFICALLY for family get togethers and functions. The drug is a godsend, I would never do Christmas or Thanksgiving without them. You can continue with your plan, do whatever you want, but it'll get ya through the ordeal itself.

jjessea said:

I'm tellin ya man, Xanax. They're cheap and easy to get through your GP. I keep them around SPECIFICALLY for family get togethers and functions. The drug is a godsend, I would never do Christmas or Thanksgiving without them. You can continue with your plan, do whatever you want, but it'll get ya through the ordeal itself.

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I never did this myself, but my brother needed something to get him through a speech class once, and Xanax did the trick. I asked him how it felt, and he said he literally didn't have any fear or anxiety before, during, or after the speech. FWIW.

jjessea said:

I'm tellin ya man, Xanax. They're cheap and easy to get through your GP. I keep them around SPECIFICALLY for family get togethers and functions. The drug is a godsend, I would never do Christmas or Thanksgiving without them. You can continue with your plan, do whatever you want, but it'll get ya through the ordeal itself.

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During family get togethers I just stare off into space... that is how I deal with those.

I personally do not want to be dependent on a drug to get me through things. I guess I could see a doctor and say "I hate people, give me some xanax so that I can drug that part of my personality away". If he gives them to me and I do not have to pay anything then I guess I could take them

AFrozenSoul said:

During family get togethers I just stare off into space... that is how I deal with those.

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Then Xanax will suit you perfectly.

AFrozenSoul said:

I guess I could see a doctor and say "I hate people, give me some xanax so that I can drug that part of my personality away".

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That's basically what I do.

Do whatever you want man. Personally I think the video games thing is a great idea, I just hate portables. If you don't want to be dependent on drugs to deal with your family I can admire that, I'm just not that strong.

Oh, and a bottle of 30 of the generic Xanax(alprazolam) is like 5 dollars at Walmart. Just FYI.

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jjessea said:

That's basically what I do.

Do whatever you want man. Personally I think the video games thing is a great idea, I just hate portables. If you don't want to be dependent on drugs to deal with your family I can admire that, I'm just not that strong.

Oh, and a bottle of 30 of the generic Xanax(alprazolam) is like 5 dollars at Walmart. Just FYI.

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I feel like a drug pusher, yeesh.​

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I have never relied on drugs to deal with my anxiety and overall hatred of humans in general. Plus I am also tired of playing nice just because it is socially acceptable. I need a way to make people not want me around.

Cocaine is probably your best bet then.

painter said:

...or get to taste some sweet bridesmaid poontang...

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Dammit pr, now you've got me wanting to go to a wedding

AFrozenSoul said:

I need a way to make people not want me around.

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Don't take a shower then. For like a month.

Also, you could do the thing with dinner menu's that I did as a kid; stack them up around you creating a little cubicle at the dinner table so you can't see anybody and no one can see you. You can just hang out there playing video games and not talking to anyone till they ask you to leave.

I knew this one kid once, he was really messed up, that hatched a bunch of baby spiders in his hair. He had like really nappy dreds and they lived there for like a week. It was disconcerting. You'd be talking to him and a little spider would crawl down from his forehead and just like hang out on his nose or something. Ick. You could do that. That would be awesome.

jjessea said:

Don't take a shower then. For like a month.

Also, you could do the thing with dinner menu's that I did as a kid; stack them up around you creating a little cubicle at the dinner table so you can't see anybody and no one can see you. You can just hang out there playing video games and not talking to anyone till they ask you to leave.

I knew this one kid once, he was really messed up, that hatched a bunch of baby spiders in his hair. He had like really nappy dreds and they lived there for like a week. It was disconcerting. You'd be talking to him and a little spider would crawl down from his forehead and just like hang out on his nose or something. Ick. You could do that. That would be awesome.

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I would just not shower... except I have a 4.5 hour plane trip to the are where the wedding is being held. I just cannot bring myself to be that jerk on the plane.