How do you all deal with Anger?

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TheSkaFish

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Well, the title says it all - how do you all deal with anger? I know I've told others to meditate during these times, myself. That's the funny thing - when you're not angry, or only mildly, temporarily angry, everything seems so clear.

But I've found myself in a position where I am almost constantly very, very angry. Sometimes I honestly feel like the only thing that would give me relief is just beating the honeysuckle out of someone. Fortunately I still have enough logic to know that I have something to lose and I don't want to throw my future away, but sometimes anger gets the better of me.

I just came back from going for a walk to get out of the house, but all I could think about were things that made me incredibly angry.

I have been in many situations where I've honestly felt like I was a hair's breadth from doing something violent. Every time life kicks me - money problems, a rejection from someone I love and/or the girl going to a "bad boy", other life problems, feeling like I just can't seem to be in control of my life, feeling like the ideas just won't come to me, feel like I just can't make the things I want happen - my blood just boils. Anytime something makes me feel powerless or reminds me of all the things I hate, I just burn with rage.

Do any of you get this angry and how do you calm yourselves down again?

I know I can't go through life like this. Not only will it ruin my life but it is so draining to be angry all the time.
 
It's tough. You could work out more, but initially it'll make you feel more aggressive. After you get a solid weight lifting regimen you'll balance out. In the short term I would recommend an extreme cardio workout like something from insanity or P90X3. Not when you're angry though, just daily in the morning. You'll feel more balanced throughout the day.

I used to get dangerously angry when I was your age, so much so that it interfered with my life. That's when I started working out. I work out every day now. It balanced me out, and it may help you.

Dunno if that helps, but it's the only thing I can recommend.
 
jjessea said:
It's tough. You could work out more, but initially it'll make you feel more aggressive. After you get a solid weight lifting regimen you'll balance out. In the short term I would recommend an extreme cardio workout like something from insanity or P90X3. Not when you're angry though, just daily in the morning. You'll feel more balanced throughout the day.

I used to get dangerously angry when I was your age, so much so that it interfered with my life. That's when I started working out. I work out every day now. It balanced me out, and it may help you.

Dunno if that helps, but it's the only thing I can recommend.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try it as soon as my legs are no longer sore. I used to run, then my shoes kind of fell apart on me. But I felt better when I did.

I've only ever actually been in one fight in my life, but there were several other situations that have come up over the years that certainly could have gotten ugly. Some kids flicked me off from a car once, and I wound up chasing them for an hour, through 3 suburbs, cutting off traffic and seeing red. I only snapped out of it by remembering that I was set to go on vacation with my friends the next day, and decided I'd rather go camping than to jail. Today, because of the girl who broke my heart for some *******, all I wanted to do was swing a bat as hard as possible at a biker's head. Didn't even have to be him, anyone similar would do. Sometimes I just want to make a guy like that bleed.

But unfortunately we live in the real world, not Grand Theft Auto. I can't keep feeling possessed by anger this way but I can't just keep it bottled inside. I can't go on like this. I hate the bastards but it's starting to take over my life.
 
I gotta say I'd go with jjessea's advice. I used to have quite a bit of angst in me, and I went to the gym a lot and worked out a lot during that period, kinda let all the anger and emotion out of my exercise that it actually helped. Was quite therapeutic. And beneficial cos it boosted my stamina, made me lose weight etc etc. So you kinda hit many things at once. Good luck.
 
Realize the things you are mad about really don't matter at all in the long run. Realize every other person is just as complex and complicated as you. They have thoughts that are just as complex and complicated as yours. They all have problems, dreams, and goals that are just as important as yours. Grow up. Get over yourself. Chill out.

At least that's what worked for me.

I used to fight a ton when I was younger. I had a really short temper. Now I'm probably the most laid back person I know.
 
kamya said:
Now I'm probably the most laid back person I know.

Indeed you are. And you always listen to those very chilled out songs you tell me about. They do calm the mind. And that is another suggestion, listening to calming music.
 
ladyforsaken said:
And that is another suggestion, listening to calming music.

Or angry music. Sometimes listening to the music that speaks to what you're feeling inside is more cathartic.

I think what you really need to do, though, is learn not to let things get you so riled up in the first place. My suggestions would echo kamya and jjessea.
 
I play GTA, and blow some honeysuckle up with a 1.2 million dollar tank.
 
Solivagant said:
Or angry music. Sometimes listening to the music that speaks to what you're feeling inside is more cathartic.

Yeah I actually wondered if that would work... interesting if it does to some people. It doesn't for me I suppose.. gets me angrier or more upset I think. :S
 
TheSkaFish said:
Well, the title says it all - how do you all deal with anger? I know I've told others to meditate during these times, myself. That's the funny thing - when you're not angry, or only mildly, temporarily angry, everything seems so clear.

But I've found myself in a position where I am almost constantly very, very angry. Sometimes I honestly feel like the only thing that would give me relief is just beating the honeysuckle out of someone. Fortunately I still have enough logic to know that I have something to lose and I don't want to throw my future away, but sometimes anger gets the better of me.

I just came back from going for a walk to get out of the house, but all I could think about were things that made me incredibly angry.

I have been in many situations where I've honestly felt like I was a hair's breadth from doing something violent. Every time life kicks me - money problems, a rejection from someone I love and/or the girl going to a "bad boy", other life problems, feeling like I just can't seem to be in control of my life, feeling like the ideas just won't come to me, feel like I just can't make the things I want happen - my blood just boils. Anytime something makes me feel powerless or reminds me of all the things I hate, I just burn with rage.

Do any of you get this angry and how do you calm yourselves down again?

I know I can't go through life like this. Not only will it ruin my life but it is so draining to be angry all the time.

Go on a rage thingy. Your anger is there for a reason, use it get retribution and stuffs to those that have made you like that.

For great justice.
 
What will the anger do for you? If you get violent, will that help you in the end? Will it make you feel better down the road? If you are being completely honest with yourself, the answers are nothing, no and no. Anger doesn't help you out of situations, it just provides you with a distraction so you don't have to deal with whatever emotion it is covering up.
The only person that can make you get angry is yourself. Doesn't matter what someone else does, it is you that lets yourself go to anger. There are other ways of dealing with every situation and typically, anger will only make situations worse.
 
TheRealCallie said:
What will the anger do for you? If you get violent, will that help you in the end? Will it make you feel better down the road? If you are being completely honest with yourself, the answers are nothing, no and no. Anger doesn't help you out of situations, it just provides you with a distraction so you don't have to deal with whatever emotion it is covering up.
The only person that can make you get angry is yourself. Doesn't matter what someone else does, it is you that lets yourself go to anger. There are other ways of dealing with every situation and typically, anger will only make situations worse.

Lol no.
 
PieBeNice said:
TheRealCallie said:
What will the anger do for you? If you get violent, will that help you in the end? Will it make you feel better down the road? If you are being completely honest with yourself, the answers are nothing, no and no. Anger doesn't help you out of situations, it just provides you with a distraction so you don't have to deal with whatever emotion it is covering up.
The only person that can make you get angry is yourself. Doesn't matter what someone else does, it is you that lets yourself go to anger. There are other ways of dealing with every situation and typically, anger will only make situations worse.

Lol no.

No u
 
TheRealCallie said:
PieBeNice said:
TheRealCallie said:
What will the anger do for you? If you get violent, will that help you in the end? Will it make you feel better down the road? If you are being completely honest with yourself, the answers are nothing, no and no. Anger doesn't help you out of situations, it just provides you with a distraction so you don't have to deal with whatever emotion it is covering up.
The only person that can make you get angry is yourself. Doesn't matter what someone else does, it is you that lets yourself go to anger. There are other ways of dealing with every situation and typically, anger will only make situations worse.

Lol no.

No u

No. Not at all.

The part where you said how only you can make yourself angry is wrong. It's involuntary. Some people can be right silly people and make you angry. Also, anger makes everything better. It means you can deliver righteous justice to wrongdoers.
 
PieBeNice said:
TheRealCallie said:
PieBeNice said:
TheRealCallie said:
What will the anger do for you? If you get violent, will that help you in the end? Will it make you feel better down the road? If you are being completely honest with yourself, the answers are nothing, no and no. Anger doesn't help you out of situations, it just provides you with a distraction so you don't have to deal with whatever emotion it is covering up.
The only person that can make you get angry is yourself. Doesn't matter what someone else does, it is you that lets yourself go to anger. There are other ways of dealing with every situation and typically, anger will only make situations worse.

Lol no.

No u

No. Not at all.

The part where you said how only you can make yourself angry is wrong. It's involuntary. Some people can be right silly people and make you angry. Also, anger makes everything better. It means you can deliver righteous justice to wrongdoers.

No, YOU choose how you react to something someone says or does. You do NOT have to get angry, it is NOT involuntary.
Take someone who wants to punch a monitor because some troll is annoying them. Most people would not want to punch a monitor (because that would be silly), but some people choose to let unharmful trolling make them angry. That is not involuntary.
It's the same with people talking honeysuckle about you. It can only hurt if you ALLOW it to hurt you.
 
TheRealCallie said:
PieBeNice said:
TheRealCallie said:
PieBeNice said:
TheRealCallie said:
What will the anger do for you? If you get violent, will that help you in the end? Will it make you feel better down the road? If you are being completely honest with yourself, the answers are nothing, no and no. Anger doesn't help you out of situations, it just provides you with a distraction so you don't have to deal with whatever emotion it is covering up.
The only person that can make you get angry is yourself. Doesn't matter what someone else does, it is you that lets yourself go to anger. There are other ways of dealing with every situation and typically, anger will only make situations worse.

Lol no.

No u

No. Not at all.

The part where you said how only you can make yourself angry is wrong. It's involuntary. Some people can be right silly people and make you angry. Also, anger makes everything better. It means you can deliver righteous justice to wrongdoers.

No, YOU choose how you react to something someone says or does. You do NOT have to get angry, it is NOT involuntary.
Take someone who wants to punch a monitor because some troll is annoying them. Most people would not want to punch a monitor (because that would be silly), but some people choose to let unharmful trolling make them angry. That is not involuntary.
It's the same with people talking honeysuckle about you. It can only hurt if you ALLOW it to hurt you.

I meant anger as in the emotion thingy that you feel regardless of your actions. I think you mean anger as in displaying anger and I agree with what you're saying for that. We're using hte word for two separate things. However instead of saying this I shall do teh standard ALL thing of being anti-social and I shall cause an argument whenever there's a disagreement over something.

You're wrong and you're also a silly.
 
Please, this thread is not to become personal.

ATVMRSSG504.jpg
 
I have never resorted to physical violence let alone verbal assaults to get rid of the occasional spurts of anger. But I have to admit that injustice, ignorance and chronic bullshitting really grinds my gears at times. Loud music or playing games usually calms my thoughts.

If that's not possible at the moment, I'll just let it sink in slowly...and bury it deep inside. While that's in progress, I can practically feel myself trembling on the inside. But I'm a very rational person and I know that violent outbursts in public aren't beneficial to one's image. And the sudden relief after an outburst is usually followed by a much longer phase of remorse anyway. Some people are in a position that allows for such behavior...most people are not. I try not to let it get the best of me and remind myself: Self control is a virtue.

PS: Why do we always have to derail a topic by elevating it to the Meta level...
 
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