Online proposals???

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Rosewood

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I had a guy in KY want to meet me. Could I come meet family. Mom was sick and soon would be better. I felt we needed time. He kept talking about marriage. I think a date or meeting would be better first.
Then no contact. He calls and apologies. Then he does it again I call his sis. No Mom isn't getting better. Again he is absent. Enough.I drop his a**.
I get a guy in NC. Nice guy. He wants to get married??? Not another one. I decide to google the issue and I find this The Weird Guys Who Ask You Out Online By Proposing
http://www.buzzfeed.com/annals/the-weird-guys-who-ask-you-out-online-by-proposing
Am I just a luck weirdo magnet?? Why the big charade? The first time I was hurt. Got over it right away. It's not like I stayed home to pine. I have friends family and all. I just want to meet a guy.
If someone else is writing about a few guys who do this there must be 1.000's who treat women to this bizarre romance theater all the time? Anyone have this happen?
 
Maybe they are talking generally, saying that marriage is their ultimate goal?
 
No one's to say that you have to take these proposals seriously. Perhaps they're just old fashion. Don't know. Ignore them if you're uncomfortable with the idea of them doing it.
 
Tiina63 To answer you question there not just proposals. It's more like an intimate fantasy. They guy in KY even told his all our plans She seemed upset when I told her I was not coming to visit the family. He had an on again off again game. I had his address, names of family remembers, where he worked, birthrate and all the right information. He was said he was getting airline tickets. The day I called t finalize it was internet issues. That was when he quit calling, When he decided to contact me again after prompting from sis.he wanted to wit and see what was going on with Mother's care. He was supposed to be sending me a gift. I never got even a postcard. I had no reason to call and upset sis. It will be obvious to her sonnet or later. The second guy who gave me this story made me pause. That's when I found the article from buzz feed. I am thinking it's a sign of our times.Men and women play these games to avoid lonliness and the real work of a relationship Sad and sic.
VanillaCreme I am not uncomfortable i just don't see the point of investing in a pseudo relationship. It makes it hard to sort out real guys from those who want a fake wife to feel there lonely nights after work. I don't need a guys money, or a ring. His time and effort are much more to me.
 
Another angle: people who are afraid of commitment some times also have a strong desire for it and miss very strongly the intimacy they are incapable to achieve (read the awesome and terrible book Men who can't love http://www.amazon.com/Men-Cant-Love-Steven-Carter/dp/1567310478 ), so they behave kind of erratically, talking too much and doing too little so to speak. Also, when they smell that one girl has values etc, they play the marriage/love card just to create arousal, so that a woman is more likely to sleep with them, and you can spot that because they say that before they get to know you and they don't really want to know you, they don't ask questions, they don't care for your opinion (like: it's too soon to meet the parents). Real good guys who wants to get married they want to f^%&$g know you and spend lots and lots of time with you in order to make that decision, there is no other way, that is only in the movies.
I think you are better off looking at the way he acts than at what he says, in any case he doesn't sound like a serious person but like some kind of manipulative jerk, and also the other one. Thing is, there are really a lot of screwed up people around, especially on dating sites, and it's not that you are a magnet for them (otherwise, so am I and several other millions women), so I hope that you don't think twice about them because they don't deserve your precious brain cells' time.
 
This is part of the reason why I was so hesitant of trying the online dating thing. I've always wondered if it would just be full of sicko's, or unhealthy people who play head games. But, I gave in and signed up a few dating sites.
I've always figured that I wasn't that good looking, or that anyone would be interested in me. I was surprised by some of the people that I was attracting, some I didn't care for. As a few, wanted to do the cam - get undressed thing, and take your money.
And the ones that wanted to exchange email address's (as I was warned by others on here), I felt red flags go up. Before knowing better, I did exchange email's with one. Think I was lucky, as she had not photo's on her profile, and when we did get to talking - she seems like a very nice, together person. Doesn't appear to be into head games, appears to be honest.

So I feel that I was lucky, and maybe would not be so hesitant of the online dating thing. But from what you have mentioned, I would just move on. There has to be someone on there, that is a decent person.....for you.
 
we can only keep putting ourselves out there and be healthy ourselves, there is no other way
 
Peaches, I kind of want to read the book myself. Curiosity is nippin' at me. Talk of marriage and love-everlasting doesn't get me aroused. Perhaps the fact that many females (and guys, too, I suppose) are like that, these guys assume we must all be that way.
 
dear VanillaCreme, that book is like a horror story about seriously damaged individuals who hurt all those around you, not just people who don't like commitment, I don't think it relates to you :) Also, how old are you? Maybe it's also a biological clock thing, that for guys doesn't kick in until a certain age
Another nice book from the same author, more about both sexes, is called "He is scared, She is scared"
 
Peaches said:
dear VanillaCreme, that book is like a horror story about seriously damaged individuals who hurt all those around you, not just people who don't like commitment, I don't think it relates to you :) Also, how old are you? Maybe it's also a biological clock thing, that for guys doesn't kick in until a certain age
Another nice book from the same author, more about both sexes, is called "He is scared, She is scared"

I'm not a damaged person who wants to hurt anyone. Nor am I afraid of commitment. But I like reading, so why not...

Oh, and if the age question was directed at me, I'm 25.
 
Rosewood said:
"....It makes it hard to sort out real guys from those who want a fake wife to feel there lonely nights after work....".

For some reason I found this line quite amusing, what a way to delude oneself.
 

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