When bad luck hits hard.

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Nuke1967

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 14, 2014
Messages
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Location
St.Louis Metro Area USA
I have been depressed for two weeks now, I look at my life and know I made some bad mistakes, I should have done this or I should have completed that, now I am truly worried about my future or what is left of it I guess, I just came out of a bankruptcy due to financial issues, after dealing with that mess I get hit again by a layoff, my job wasn't a high paying one but I enjoyed it, now I am 47 and looking at an uncertain future., and not certain where I am going,I did get hired back by my last job, different position,crappy hours and lower pay.

I have never been married, I have not had a relationship, when I was 26 I had already lost both my parents, my brother passed away a few months back, not that we were very close, I have two sisters, one I am closer to that has helped me out, but I feel at times I am kinda of an embarrassment to her, when I have good luck it seems that I have something bad right after that negates it.

I am not trying to have a pity party, I know others have problems equal to or greater than mine, just sometimes I feel like I either did something wrong in a past life, or I got cursed, anyway I just felt like getting this off my virtual chest, thanks for reading.
 
Hi nuke1967, it often seems that some people are given a heavier load to carry than others though life and I feel very sorry that you have had and have such big problems to deal with. Losing your brother was a very big loss and dealing with this must be very painful. Also, coming through bankrupcy must have been very stressful and you have done well to still keep going and to be trying to rebuild your life after such a massive blow.
Would it be possible for you to go to college at night after you finish work to learn other skills/improve your qualifications so that you could apply for new and better paid jobs? At 47 it might be hard to move into a new line of work but it wouldn't be out of the question.
Looking for a partner is also possible-it is never too late.
 
Tiina63 said:
Hi nuke1967, it often seems that some people are given a heavier load to carry than others though life and I feel very sorry that you have had and have such big problems to deal with. Losing your brother was a very big loss and dealing with this must be very painful. Also, coming through bankrupcy must have been very stressful and you have done well to still keep going and to be trying to rebuild your life after such a massive blow.
Would it be possible for you to go to college at night after you finish work to learn other skills/improve your qualifications so that you could apply for new and better paid jobs? At 47 it might be hard to move into a new line of work but it wouldn't be out of the question.
Looking for a partner is also possible-it is never too late.

Thanks Tina, yeah finishing up some classes is on my to do list if all possible, I should have done it some time back, but like anything else you put it on the back burner and do other things, life just flew by and it seems that this year it just kept hitting me with knockout blows, thanks for the kind words.
 
Sorry to hear about your problems, but you can't go thinking that you are in some way to blame or that you're being punished - it's just the way things are. Some people seem to go through life without a care and others seem to have the weight of the world placed on their shoulders.

Obviously, you can never replace your lost family members, but the other things can all be rectified. It's never too late to find a partner and start a loving relationship. It's also not too late for you to learn new skills so that you can spend the next decade or so working in a job that you enjoy.

If you look on the bright side, you're still here and you're still fighting. This thread shows me that you haven't given up and that gives you a good chance of gaining the life you desire.
 
I don't know what to tell you for the rest, it's just hard. Every day I dread losing my family members as they get older. I get how you feel about always getting hit with things though. It seems like for us also, we just never get to the point where we are doing well. At best we make it to zero, only to get hit with something else soon enough.

But anyway. All I can really say is take courses. Even getting a junior college degree or certificate could help make you more money. What are you interested in?

If you can do something with computers or are interested in it, I think you will be alright. It seems that computers and IT are today what the factories were yesterday. The problem is they require much more learning.
 
I think a large part of your problem is that you are living in the past. We all make mistakes and, in a way, it's good to make mistakes if you learn from them. Even if you make the same mistake twice, it's not a big deal if you learn from it the second time around. Stop faulting yourself for past mistakes. What really matters in life is not what you HAVE DONE, but what you WILL DO, what you are doing NOW. The past matters not, the future doesn't even matter. What matters is what you plan to do now.

There is no shame in filing bankruptcy, you knew you had a problem and you did what you had to do to remedy the problem. It will take time to build your credit back up from that, but that's okay. You'll get there and it's not as bad as it used to be for people who filed bankruptcy.

As for the job, I'm sorry you got laid off, but it's just provides you an opportunity to find a better job that will fit your needs. You may not like whatever job you get next, but it only has to be until you find one that seems better for you.

Focus on the here and now and let the future be handled when it gets here. Do what needs to be done, do your best and know that you can't do any more than you already are. You will get where you need/want to be eventually, as long as you don't give up.
 

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