I treated GF like horrible jerk and feel guilty

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Peter.EU

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Hallo,

it has been 3 years already since I broke up with GF I am referring about but the whole time I had to think about it and particularly in recent weeks. I don't know why it is tormenting my mind so bad just now, aster so long time but maybe it's because due to my travel, work and experience I grew up or maybe it's because I saw similar behavior in another person and realized how horrible a**hole I was.

But I mean real a**hole. I called her names, ignored her, an when she finally broke up with me I even threatened her. I disrespected her privacy, acted perverted or sent her female friends messages with sexual content. I treated her really lowly. and mostly since the time she started to love me.

I did that because I felt bad about myself, of course. I had complexes, low self esteem, I was frustrated, full of anger and hatred. I was very lonely and she was somebody who finally spent time with me. On the other hand I must mention that my anger initiated her not-so keen sense for sexual activities... I expected more and when I didn't get it all my suppressed complexes come to the light.


Today I feel very differently. I am maybe single, but this time voluntarily and have good and satisfying friends, new family (heh, long and funny story :) ), good and exciting life and feel internally balanced. Feel like grown man, not frustrated brat any more. And that's why I feel so horrible shame. Particularly when family is together and I see how happily man and woman can live together.


I don't want to sent her another apology (once I wrote her that "I think I didn't always treat you nice. sorry.", that was the best I could get from my "pride") because she must think I am terrible sorry psycho and I still feel shame and pain.

What to do??? I don't know.


PS: I should mention that when I tried to treat her nicely (back than), I saw her loosing interest in me. I have impression that she kinda liked me being jerk. Like her (sorry for such a rude expression) p*ssy liked that and made it very wet but everything else hated it. So she found another one and when her toy was happy with him she finally found a reason for break up. That's why I never wanted to be too sorry for that... If nothing else I wanted to keep nice memory for her little toy...(does it make a sense?)

PPS: I forgot to add on very important thing: besides being shy she NEVER ever done anything bad to me! And that is what worries me most. She is 100% good girl.
 
Peter.EU said:
PS: I should mention that when I tried to treat her nicely (back than), I saw her loosing interest in me. I have impression that she kinda liked me being jerk. Like her (sorry for such a rude expression) p*ssy liked that and made it very wet but everything else hated it. So she found another one and when her toy was happy with him she finally found a reason for break up. That's why I never wanted to be too sorry for that... If nothing else I wanted to keep nice memory for her little toy...(does it make a sense?)

Reading this, you haven't changed a bit. Don't go near her, lol.
 
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

Highlander.jpg


Also, I thought you were gay?
 
Rainbows said:
Peter.EU said:
PS: I should mention that when I tried to treat her nicely (back than), I saw her loosing interest in me. I have impression that she kinda liked me being jerk. Like her (sorry for such a rude expression) p*ssy liked that and made it very wet but everything else hated it. So she found another one and when her toy was happy with him she finally found a reason for break up. That's why I never wanted to be too sorry for that... If nothing else I wanted to keep nice memory for her little toy...(does it make a sense?)

Reading this, you haven't changed a bit. Don't go near her, lol.
Also, weren't you gay? :/ (Just a question! When we met you, I thought you said you were gay?)



I did love sex and I love it still. If that makes me bad person so be it.

100% no. I said gays like me and I dunno why.


Bad Jedi, wtf is wrong with you? This is serious thread. I am confessing my biggest worry and you nake fun of it? I dont even understand your joke. Go practice to /b/ instead.
 
well, I hope your shame will help you make sure that you don't do it again… with her or someone else

Believe me, self-respecting pussies don't like jerks, don't even think about it for a minute.
 
Peter.EU said:
Bad Jedi, wtf is wrong with you? This is serious thread. I am confessing my biggest worry and you nake fun of it? I dont even understand your joke. Go practice to /b/ instead.

Rules 1 and 2, brah.

And I wasn't making fun. I was just saying there can be only one.
 
You asked opinions, I gave you my opinion. If I was her, I wouldn't want to hear from you ever again - I don't know. Then again, apparently I'm a picky wuss.
 
Thats quite threatening / controlling controlling behaviour. Seek help.
 
You are indeed, Rainbows. But I agree though. If my BF/GF or whatever was like that to me ... O_O I don't know what I would do ...
 
Peaches: That was it: she had VERY low self esteem that time. Fortunately not any more.

Bad Jedi, still don't understand and you are weird.
 
Peter.EU said:
Peaches: That was it: she had VERY low self esteem that time. Fortunately not any more.

Bad Jedi, still don't understand and you are weird.

I hope she never gets a self esteem like that again that she'll chase bad boys or people who treat her like that. If she was in such a position .. I feel so sad for her.
 
I am not gay what the hell is wrong with you people?

and stop trolling. if you have nothing right to saythan leave the tread. If this insulting and half-read posts is best you can do than you should stop posting and get some "help" for yourself. Like friends or hobbies.
 
Peter.EU said:
I am not gay what the hell is wrong with you people?

and stop trolling. if you have nothing right to saythan leave the tread. This forum goes to dump.

I never said you were gay.
 
Peter.EU said:
I am not gay what the hell is wrong with you people?

What's wrong with being gay?

Maybe I've confused you with someone else. :O
 
Peter.EU said:
I am not gay what the hell is wrong with you people?

and stop trolling. if you have nothing right to saythan leave the tread. If this insulting and half-read posts is best you can do than you should stop posting and get some "help" for yourself. Like friends or hobbies.

Who is calling you gay?
 
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