How can I stop being attracted?

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ordinaryDude

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Hi,
I'm 27 and I never had any relationship, not even barely a date. But, year after year, I've had crushes, infatuation time and time again. These days I feel sick of this attraction that I feel. I DO NOT know for God's sake why I feel attracted.

There's no reason for me to feel attracted, I only see these pretty girls. They are pretty like pictures, easy on the eye, but I just don't understand what I'm gonna do with any of these girls. I just can't imagine myself spending any meaningful time with anyone of them. I mean don't have any plans for them. For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

So, it annoys me that I feel really attracted to a girl, and it annoys more because I'm not attractive one bit. Also it distracts me, I would just wanna focus on myself and my own inner world. Attraction towards opposite gender is an unwanted distraction which hampers my motivation and my focus.

Hence, I wanna get rid of all the attraction I feel towards a girl. Do you have any idea how to do that?
 
ordinaryDude said:
Hi,
I'm 27 and I never had any relationship, not even barely a date. But, year after year, I've had crushes, infatuation time and time again. These days I feel sick of this attraction that I feel. I DO NOT know for God's sake why I feel attracted.

There's no reason for me to feel attracted, I only see these pretty girls. They are pretty like pictures, easy on the eye, but I just don't understand what I'm gonna do with any of these girls. I just can't imagine myself spending any meaningful time with anyone of them. I mean don't have any plans for them. For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

So, it annoys me that I feel really attracted to a girl, and it annoys more because I'm not attractive one bit. Also it distracts me, I would just wanna focus on myself and my own inner world. Attraction towards opposite gender is an unwanted distraction which hampers my motivation and my focus.

Hence, I wanna get rid of all the attraction I feel towards a girl. Do you have any idea how to do that?

you can't, it's normal
 
ordinaryDude said:
For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

Why not?

Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

I kind of agree, but I don't know if it's for the same reasons as you.
 
painter said:
Castration?

Isn't that just physical? What about the mental side?


Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

Being attracted to sucks too...unless you have that princely look which attract opposite gender easily.


Solivagant said:
ordinaryDude said:
For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

Why not?

Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

I kind of agree, but I don't know if it's for the same reasons as you.

Cos relationship with a girl involves many things, mere friendship with a guy doesn't involve that. I do have female friends, but something more than mere friendship is an entirely different story.
 
Solivagant said:
ordinaryDude said:
For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

Why not?

Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

I kind of agree, but I don't know if it's for the same reasons as you.

I can't pm you. I'd explain.
 
ordinaryDude said:
painter said:
Castration?

Isn't that just physical? What about the mental side?


Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

Being attracted to sucks too...unless you have that princely look which attract opposite gender easily.


Solivagant said:
ordinaryDude said:
For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

Why not?

Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

I kind of agree, but I don't know if it's for the same reasons as you.

Cos relationship with a girl involves many things, mere friendship with a guy doesn't involve that. I do have female friends, but something more than mere friendship is an entirely different story.



Its only natural, on the point of friendship, why can't you have a friend who is a girl.. Like your guy friends but more? I mean, a relaionship is based on friendship, in my opinion anyway :), if iv miss read your post I'm sorry
 
chrish said:
ordinaryDude said:
painter said:
Castration?

Isn't that just physical? What about the mental side?


Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

Being attracted to sucks too...unless you have that princely look which attract opposite gender easily.


Solivagant said:
ordinaryDude said:
For example, I can get friendly with a cool guy of similar interest because the reason is spending quality fun time, sharing and exchanging knowledge. I don't see any such reason for dating a girl.

Why not?

Rainbows said:
Trust me, not being attracted to anyone sucks..

I kind of agree, but I don't know if it's for the same reasons as you.

Cos relationship with a girl involves many things, mere friendship with a guy doesn't involve that. I do have female friends, but something more than mere friendship is an entirely different story.



Its only natural, on the point of friendship, why can't you have a friend who is a girl.. Like your guy friends but more? I mean, a relaionship is based on friendship, in my opinion anyway :), if iv miss read your post I'm sorry




Because relationship >>> Friendship, it's a long term thing, with sex involved. Girls pick and choose the best option in relationships, in friendship they don't, I'm not the best option. So, I don't wanna try hard to be best option for anyone. I just wanna be myself, and be happy with that.
 
I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way :(, personally I think there's sombody for everybody, I'm in a relationship right now with a girl, all I'll say is that there's a 5 hour time differience, I am not the best guy for her just for that one fact, she could have any guy where she lives so, it can happen, I think that you just have to be ready for it when it happens, until then, just live your own life, be who you are
 
ordinaryDude said:
Because relationship >>> Friendship, it's a long term thing, with sex involved. Girls pick and choose the best option in relationships, in friendship they don't, I'm not the best option. So, I don't wanna try hard to be best option for anyone. I just wanna be myself, and be happy with that.

Friendship isn't that complicated. And friendship is long term. Maybe even more so than an intimate relationships. I don't know who you've ever been friends with, but they must have been pretty crappy for you to begin to believe that friendship isn't long term.
 
The only things that stop a person who is already attracted to another person is time and distractions. For example, if I was pining over some girl I know I'll never be with, I'd do all I could to avoid this person and distract myself with work, or school, or hobbies, until the thought of her diminishes.

Sadly, there is no pill to get someone out of our heads. It just takes patience.
 
Case said:
Sadly, there is no pill to get someone out of our heads. It just takes patience.

This. And also if you have the strength and willpower to shift your mindset and rearrange your priorities and focus in life. I know some people who can do this. They can just convince themselves that love or attraction is not needed in their lives so they just put their focus (greatly with dedication) on something else that is very important to them. Maybe a goal they want to achieve or a belief in life that it doesn't evolve around love/attraction.
 
Crushes have done nothing but bring me misery. I was interested in ways to reduce the libido too, but it's only half the solution. Infatuation can't always be reduced to that; there's also the desire for someone to care... that particular person to care...who doesn't.

ladyforsaken said:
This. And also if you have the strength and willpower to shift your mindset and rearrange your priorities and focus in life. I know some people who can do this. They can just convince themselves that love or attraction is not needed in their lives so they just put their focus (greatly with dedication) on something else that is very important to them. Maybe a goal they want to achieve or a belief in life that it doesn't evolve around love/attraction.

You meant it in good will of course, but being cynical, that's the kind of thing often said to less attractive men to get them to stop bothering women ;)
 
ardour said:
You meant it in good will of course, but being cynical, that's the kind of thing often said to less attractive men to get them to stop bothering women ;)

Yes I meant it in good will and I never knew that that is the kind of thing often said to less attractive men to get them to stop bothering women. Anyway, the OP was asking how to stop being attracted to women. And I've never really gave this advice to men who can't get women, I always say keep trying.
 
ladyforsaken said:
Yes I meant it in good will and I never knew that that is the kind of thing often said to less attractive men to get them to stop bothering women. Anyway, the OP was asking how to stop being attracted to women. And I've never really gave this advice to men who can't get women, I always say keep trying.

Yeah sorry, I should check the negativity at the door sometimes.
 
ardour said:
ladyforsaken said:
Yes I meant it in good will and I never knew that that is the kind of thing often said to less attractive men to get them to stop bothering women. Anyway, the OP was asking how to stop being attracted to women. And I've never really gave this advice to men who can't get women, I always say keep trying.

Yeah sorry, I should check the negativity at the door sometimes.

It's all right, it was an interesting point you stated, I was being honest when I said I didn't know that was often said to such men. :\
 
It's not that I can't attract women, back home I felt that girls liked me, at least my female friends used to think I'm attractive to girls despite my lack of height . In Europe it's a little different, men here are much much taller. Having said that, I never really tried here because I'm so different from most common girls in every aspect of life. I'm too hesitant to try, I don't find it worthy enough. I also find it too embarrassing and disrespectful to go down so low for impressing a girl, and there's always the risk of being humiliated after the rejection. I never got rejected, and never proposed anyone either.

But I wanna get rid of attraction cos it consumes a lot of my mental energy in wishful thinking and at times make me depressed.
 

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