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anonymoustaco

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So my nineteenth birthday is in exactly one month.
Back in May, when my sister had her birthday party, we had about seventeen people crammed into our living room eating pizza and candy, give or take a few.

At my birthday last year, I invited someone who I thought was my best friend at the time, some girl who I invited just because I wanted to feel like I had friends, and a friend who came from Canada. Well, only the one girl and the friend from Canada came, not the girl who I thought was my best friend. She decided to stay home with her boyfriend instead, doing nothing.
Well, we went to an amusement park, and the one girl who I invited just because caused a TON of unnecessary drama (the attention hog -_-)

And this year, I can't invite any of them to do anything, and I haven't made any new friends since. Actually, I've lost the few I had left. So this birthday is going to suck big time. Should I even try to enjoy it? I haven't had an actual halfway enjoyable birthday since I was nine, when a set of twins came over and stole one of my Pokemon games. And its not like my family cares. They say I can do whatever I want, but they don't know how it feels. Every year, all my birthday is, is a reminder that I've spent another year alone, and survived another year of emotional trauma (but I won't get into that here). I hate it. And my sister likes to rub it in my face. Everytime I'm right and she's wrong, she says "At least I have friends. At least I have a life."

So yeah, I know its not the biggest problem ever, and probably not even worth the time to read for some people. But really, should I even try to do anything? Even if I did, I'd be alone. Should I even try to enjoy it? Does anybody ever even do anything for their birthdays anymore?

Edit: You know what, I think this might be in the wrong place.. I'm sorry if it is, I'm still kinda new here.
 
Well your sister is downright cruel for saying things like that.
But on the birthday thing, since I'm an old fart and all my friends are too, I don't get much birthday excitement these days.
You can still do something special for yourself, even if you don't have plans for a huge party. Lots of people treat themselves to something on their big day.

-Teresa
 
I've never been fond of my birthday, so I'm usually either not celebrating it or I'm very low-key. I've never had a birthday party. In fact, when I tell people that, they look at me as if I've grown another head.

What I recommend is doing something that you really enjoy doing, and get as much fun out of the day as you want. It could be anything from hiking, to taking a day trip, to playing a video game that you love. Mine is in two months, so I'll be in a similar situation. Last year, I flew to Seattle for the first time. I was alone, it was rainy, but I enjoyed every moment of it. :)
 
Hey there! My birthday is coming soon too and I have no idea what's gonna happen. Usually I don't celebrate it, but sometimes some friends ask me out for a meal (sometimes I decline because for some reason I felt like they were doing it only for the sake of .. being courteous - long story). Sometimes I'd just do something I like or treat myself to something. Like a .. fancy ice cream. Seriously, that makes me feel better. So I suppose, like what Case said above, do something you enjoy. And yes I think you should totally do it, rather than sitting around feeling negatively about the day.. treat yourself to something.

If I was nearer, I'd totally do something with you on your birthday! *hugs*
 
I agree with sofiasmama that your sister is cruel for speaking to you the way she did. Let's hope that, as she matures, she develops more empathy for others.
I also agree with Case that doing something you enjoy on your birthday would be a good idea. It needn't be something big. Maybe treat yourself to a book or DVD which you really want to read/watch. I have a DVD earmarked for my birthday in October. It is a Czech DVD about North Korea. Not to everyone's taste but I can't wait to see it:)
 
@SofiasMami (your quote won't show for some reason)

I guess she is a bit cruel sometimes. We used to be the best of friends until just a year or so ago when she started throwing crap like that at me.

Thank you for the advice. :)


Case said:
I've never been fond of my birthday, so I'm usually either not celebrating it or I'm very low-key. I've never had a birthday party. In fact, when I tell people that, they look at me as if I've grown another head.

What I recommend is doing something that you really enjoy doing, and get as much fun out of the day as you want. It could be anything from hiking, to taking a day trip, to playing a video game that you love. Mine is in two months, so I'll be in a similar situation. Last year, I flew to Seattle for the first time. I was alone, it was rainy, but I enjoyed every moment of it. :)

Whaaat? I need to get to wherever you are and throw you a surprise party, lol.

That sounds pretty great. I would totally fly somewhere if I could. It's not so much the birthday alone as it is I have no one to spend it with. When someone in my family has a birthday, I shower them with gifts and make sure as heck that they enjoy it, if it kills me. And yet I'm always alone during mine, and I hate being alone anyway. I don't know, maybe that sounds childish and I shouldn't be thinking like that.


ladyforsaken said:
Hey there! My birthday is coming soon too and I have no idea what's gonna happen. Usually I don't celebrate it, but sometimes some friends ask me out for a meal (sometimes I decline because for some reason I felt like they were doing it only for the sake of .. being courteous - long story). Sometimes I'd just do something I like or treat myself to something. Like a .. fancy ice cream. Seriously, that makes me feel better. So I suppose, like what Case said above, do something you enjoy. And yes I think you should totally do it, rather than sitting around feeling negatively about the day.. treat yourself to something.

If I was nearer, I'd totally do something with you on your birthday! *hugs*

But sitting around feeling nagative is so tempting, haha. But thanks!
And aw, thank you!


Tiina63 said:
I agree with sofiasmama that your sister is cruel for speaking to you the way she did. Let's hope that, as she matures, she develops more empathy for others.
I also agree with Case that doing something you enjoy on your birthday would be a good idea. It needn't be something big. Maybe treat yourself to a book or DVD which you really want to read/watch. I have a DVD earmarked for my birthday in October. It is a Czech DVD about North Korea. Not to everyone's taste but I can't wait to see it:)

She DOES have a lot of maturing to do. She is only 15, anyway. But growing up, we were the best of friends. Heck, she was my only friend. People would ask if we were twins because for some reason, she always looked/acted older and I always seemed younger, apparently, and we acted almost identical. I don't know, I got pretty attached to her, and I don't even know if that's normal or not. I was talking to my mother the other day and she told me that its because I was a twin (my twin didn't make it to birth) and it was like I was replacing her with my sister. I don't even know if that's legit info or not. But I do know that whenever she says something crappy to me, it hits me hard. She's driven me to several emotional breakdowns over the past two years. I seriously hope she realizes what she does to me one day.

And that sounds pretty nice, actually!
 
Hey anonymoustaco. :) Happy birthday in advance.

I stopped celebrating my birthday when I was quite young. I just got tired of constantly being let down by family and friends and generally feeling like I was irrelevant. Nowadays, if other people want to do something to mark the occasion, I'm cool with that. If it doesn't happen (which is common), I'm not broken up about it because I'm not invested.

A birthday is what you want it to be. For some people, it's going out and being wild with lots of other people, for others it's a quiet affair with a few close friends. For me, it's just like any other day, except I might treat myself to something expensive that I want and sometimes there's a little party after. :)

Oh, and the next time your sister feels like throwing one of those comments at you, maybe you should retort with a few home truths of your own.
 
When I was your age I guess I was lucky to just have a big social circle and there were parties every weekend etc. I was 30 in July and for the past few years it's been a bit... "Where did everyone go?" and I've been sort of alone (but not really lonely so much).

I wonder if instead of trying to have your "own" birthday party, there is some kind of music event, or any kind of event near you that you can go to and celebrate/have fun there? Random strangers usually seem willing to wish people a HB and buy them drinks etc.


lifestream said:
Oh, and the next time your sister feels like throwing one of those comments at you, maybe you should retort with a few home truths of your own.

Or punch her in the throat.
 
I turned 39 last week. I spent the day alone, lol, I've spent the last 15 birthdays alone. Christmas' too!

Sucks, but what can you do.
 
lifestream said:
Hey anonymoustaco. :) Happy birthday in advance.

I stopped celebrating my birthday when I was quite young. I just got tired of constantly being let down by family and friends and generally feeling like I was irrelevant. Nowadays, if other people want to do something to mark the occasion, I'm cool with that. If it doesn't happen (which is common), I'm not broken up about it because I'm not invested.

A birthday is what you want it to be. For some people, it's going out and being wild with lots of other people, for others it's a quiet affair with a few close friends. For me, it's just like any other day, except I might treat myself to something expensive that I want and sometimes there's a little party after. :)

Oh, and the next time your sister feels like throwing one of those comments at you, maybe you should retort with a few home truths of your own.

I think "a birthday is what you want it to be" is most likely what I needed to hear. :D Thanks for the advice!

Oh I've tried. She has the last say-so if she has to make up some random crappy statement that doesn't even make sense. I've learned to try my best to just let it go, even m though its extremely hard.


painter said:
When I was your age I guess I was lucky to just have a big social circle and there were parties every weekend etc. I was 30 in July and for the past few years it's been a bit... "Where did everyone go?" and I've been sort of alone (but not really lonely so much).

I wonder if instead of trying to have your "own" birthday party, there is some kind of music event, or any kind of event near you that you can go to and celebrate/have fun there? Random strangers usually seem willing to wish people a HB and buy them drinks etc.


lifestream said:
Oh, and the next time your sister feels like throwing one of those comments at you, maybe you should retort with a few home truths of your own.

Or punch her in the throat.



I don't think so, but that sounds good, so I'll have to check into it. Thanks.

And I think punching her in the throat would cause way more harm than good, haha..
 
anonymoustaco said:
And my sister likes to rub it in my face. Everytime I'm right and she's wrong, she says "At least I have friends. At least I have a life."

What an awful waste of oxygen.
 
CatToy said:
I turned 39 last week. I spent the day alone, lol, I've spent the last 15 birthdays alone. Christmas' too!

Sucks, but what can you do.

Well happy late birthday! :D And aw, I'm sorry. Yeah it sucks.


PieBeNice said:
What an awful waste of oxygen.

I suppose it is. I personally would never say anything like that to anyone, no matter what they've done to me. Especially knowing that it hurts.
 
I know how spending time alone can get old real fast... I spent most of my time alone & holidays & birthdays aren't all that different for me... My birthday is New Years Day & it doesn't really help all that much either... Being that my birthday is on a "Holiday", most of the people I know are hanging out with their family members doing their own thing so I usually end up spending time alone... If anything, I'll hang out with few people on New Year's Eve & that's about it... I guess it's a good thing for me that I actually don't mind spending time alone & in most cases, I prefer it... It does get old sometimes & I do find myself wanting some company every so often, hence why I'm on this site...

I'm sorry to hear about your other emotional issue & issues with your sister... I understand how family issues can be very sensitive... I could say just ignore all the bad things she says but it's sortta hard thing to do when you constantly have to hear it... Hope everything works out for the better for you soon...

As for enjoying your birthday... I'm sure you've heard it before but try to think of things you enjoy... Open up a Starbucks card... They give you a free "birthday" coffee drink... September is still not all that cold so see if you can sit outside & do some people watching... May be you can treat yourself to a movie or dinner or something...
 
sk66rc said:
I know how spending time alone can get old real fast... I spent most of my time alone & holidays & birthdays aren't all that different for me... My birthday is New Years Day & it doesn't really help all that much either... Being that my birthday is on a "Holiday", most of the people I know are hanging out with their family members doing their own thing so I usually end up spending time alone... If anything, I'll hang out with few people on New Year's Eve & that's about it... I guess it's a good thing for me that I actually don't mind spending time alone & in most cases, I prefer it... It does get old sometimes & I do find myself wanting some company every so often, hence why I'm on this site...

I'm sorry to hear about your other emotional issue & issues with your sister... I understand how family issues can be very sensitive... I could say just ignore all the bad things she says but it's sortta hard thing to do when you constantly have to hear it... Hope everything works out for the better for you soon...

As for enjoying your birthday... I'm sure you've heard it before but try to think of things you enjoy... Open up a Starbucks card... They give you a free "birthday" coffee drink... September is still not all that cold so see if you can sit outside & do some people watching... May be you can treat yourself to a movie or dinner or something...

Haha, and here I thought I was the only New Years baby around!

Most memories of my birthday involve spending it with (huge) extended family, not just because its new years, but because I'm Armenian, and New Years is celebrated moreso than Christmas with us (our Christmas is actually on January 5th). I've been going to school/working out of state, and so far I've managed to come home during the holidays to spend it with family and friends. This year I'm actually scheduled to work on New Years; Family and most close friends are on the West Coast of USA, and I'll be in the Midwest. It will be interesting to see how it unfolds.
 
painter said:
Or punch her in the throat.

Or just point a bow and arrow towards her.

I know how siblings can be a pain in the ass and super insensitive with the things they say. My brother is like that and there have been many times I just get up and walk away rolling my eyes 360 at the things he has said to me because I just can't be bothered arguing. But there's always that moment where I day dream about how I'd stand up for myself and speak up and tell him off for being an *******. For some reason my nicer side always has a stronger hold on me. :p
 
Hey there! My birthday is also coming up soon, kind of... it's not until December but yeah haha. I know exactly how you feel though, I stopped "celebrating" my birthdays years ago. Reason being is because I don't really have any friends to do anything with. But anyways, it's not a big deal for me anymore. It kinda does suck being alone but oh well; in my opinion there's nothing wrong with having a family dinner. Tell your parents to take you out to eat to your favorite restaurant haha, I know I will. :p
 
I spent years doing what was 'expected of me' when it came to birthdays. These days, I do exactly what I want to do. If I want to sit inside all day and watch TV - I'll do it. If I want to celebrate, then I'll do that too. Don't feel like you have to say yes to every suggestion from a friend of family member.
 
I usually spend my birthdays going out and trying to have fun alone, then I fail big time, lol.

Great advice is already given on other posts such as treating yourself to something or going on a vacation. I just wanted to add that you can also do the sort of activities on your birthday which gives the sense of beginning something new, for example joining a club you really like, learning something new like a new dance style or language...
 
about your sister, I hope she understands one day that what she does is stupid and she will regret this in a few years from now.
nevertheless, I think you should try to enjoy your day. while you're here talking about your birthday, someone in the other half of the world just took their last breath.
my birthdays, too, used to be fun until a few years ago. ever since I've spent either with some fake friends or all alone, bit doing stuff I like.
I don't really care anymore if no one cares about my birthdays, the only person I care about and vice versa is my brother. but that's a story for another day.
if I was nearby you, your birthday would've been legend... wait for it...DARY!!
Legendary! :cool:
stay safe :) later
 

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