Family... or lack of.

HI

I just wondered how many other people on here have no family of origin left, or no contact with any remaining members of family. Lack of family or no support from family when I had them has always been the main reason for loneliness with me.

Hello lil lost kitty, I have no family either, other than three distant cousins (distant geographically as well as emotionally). This is the main reason for my loneliness. I have found that it is a situation which very few people can understand or relate to, which only serves to increase my loneliness. At times of serious illness or at 'family' times such as Christmas and Easter the lack of family cuts even more deeply. There is no 'centre' to my life. I find it a very hard and very painful situation to be in.

I find it sad some people don't have family of any sort.

Me. I have a brother but he is "broken" and without saying it... trys to keep his kid from me. Except for x-mas when I am expected to provide a gift.

The rest of my family I just can't deal with. Mostly criminals and scammers... they would be nothing but a problem to let into my life.

No one gets it.

I have a family, a mother and eight brothers, but my mother is the only one i really care about.

All the brothers are busy with their own lives.

So, as you can see, to have a large family is no guarantee against soltude.

If I meet anybody that was a worse home situation than me, I take them over to my house as much as possible.

I have living family members but I don't really keep in contact with them all that much...

I have a sister, we keep in good contact(we phone each other every coupla days or so) I have 2 brothers but we don't talk really.
I have a little contact with my sister's kids-my nephews on occassion.

I have my lovely dog.

That's it for family for me.

Nobody for me. They've all passed away, and those that are alive, I want nothing to do with. I sometimes wish I had some unconditional parental love and support, but that was never possible so I just grieve the small pains and try to let them go.

For me it's my parents left, and my sister. My sister is competitive and domineering, but her husband is ok so hanging out with them is better than nothing.

My many cousins, whom I visited often growing up, and whose weddings I went to, don't give a crap about me. I could drop dead and they wouldn't blink.

Many of us aren't in speaking terms. Some relatives I just don't really know all that well. I can tell that this bothers my cousins. I only see them one gathering every five or so years.

Our circumstances are very different. They have LDS values, I do not.

lil lost kitty said:

I just wondered how many other people on here have no family of origin left, or no contact with any remaining members of family.

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Mine would be in the "no contact" category. We try to contact each other when birthdays or the holidays roll around, but it always fizzles out to nothing, and it's mostly a gift card in the email which lacks that familial feel. It's something I have been missing for twenty years or so.

That's why I have friends, albeit not many, who treat me like family, and I can get a taste of that experience before I retreat into my solitude. Anyway, it'd be nice to have a drama-free time with real family for once instead of the surrogate kind I've subsisted on for so long. (I don't mean to imply that my friends are not worth all of my love and support. They are, and I jump at any chance I can get to feel a part of something since I don't get that from my "biologicals.")

Tiina63 said:

Hello lil lost kitty, I have no family either, other than three distant cousins (distant geographically as well as emotionally). This is the main reason for my loneliness. I have found that it is a situation which very few people can understand or relate to, which only serves to increase my loneliness. At times of serious illness or at 'family' times such as Christmas and Easter the lack of family cuts even more deeply. There is no 'centre' to my life. I find it a very hard and very painful situation to be in.

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I'm with Tina, absolutely ZERO family.

It blows.



So for any of you with siblings or cousins that you don't talk to, make an effort, please.

1andonly1 said:

So for any of you with siblings or cousins that you don't talk to, make an effort, please.

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Oh, I wish it were that simple. If "effort" were all that was needed to repair the relationship with my siblings, we would not all be estranged.

LonelySutton said:

Me. I have a brother but he is "broken" and without saying it... trys to keep his kid from me. Except for x-mas when I am expected to provide a gift.

The rest of my family I just can't deal with. Mostly criminals and scammers... they would be nothing but a problem to let into my life.

No one gets it.

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Hey I get it :shy: just saying, i really get it

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i always see posts on facebook about how mothers will always be there? Do people really think that all mothers, fathers brothers and sisters love you till death due you part? Seriously? because thats so not the case sometimes. Sometimes, parents, the self absorbed ones, really don't care for their kids and will actually leave them to die, homeless, hungry, or abused.

For me I have all my family members left and none of them seem to really know that much about me. My mother and I can't really see eye to eye very clearly and it's very hard for us to communicate with one another. I get along with my step father surprisingly more. I have 2 brothers and I'm not close to either or, my younger brother barely comes out of his room: he's like a hermit and plays a lot of video games and my older brother is very hard to talk too sometimes. He can be a bit harsh and he expects me to leave certain things that has happened to me behind, but it's very hard for me to leave it in the past. When you're abused it's kinda hard to let that go and it's hard for anyone in my family to understand. None of them honestly know what to say to me, which I can completely understand.

As for the rest of my family well they say a lot of harsh things about my mother & they gossip a lot of the time. They'll be nice to you're face, but the minute you're gone, they'll talk about you. Yeah families can be messed up sometimes I guess, lol. I kinda have to laugh about it, cause if I let every little thing get to me, I'll eventually go under.

lil lost kitty said:

HI

I just wondered how many other people on here have no family of origin left, or no contact with any remaining members of family. Lack of family or no support from family when I had them has always been the main reason for loneliness with me.

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I have family members, but none of them ever gave me any support: No financial, emotional or any other kind of support. I was on my own for most of my life. I got used to it, but it still sucks. I have nieces and possibly nephews who I'll never meet, weddings, graduations and funerals that I'll never hear about. I'm not a part of their family, and I never will be.

My aunt is the only one I talk to, and she's been supportive in the last year.

I only have my parents and my father isn't doing very well either. His cancer is really beating on him hard and I think (hope not, even though we have a bad history from a few years ago) I may lose him. Then my only technical family is my Mom, after her, a few friends who are not exactly social butterflies.

Loneliness is picking up speed, real fast.

I lost my dog exactly 2 months ago yesterday and having her probably saved my life over the past 14 years. She's the only being that breathed new life into me and gave me a reason to smile everyday.

It doesn't seem fair that she (and other dogs) have such a short lifespan.

mother is the only left, and we are so different that it would be much better to not have much contact with her too.
Some emotionally distant relatives who some years ago decided didn't want to know about my life anymore, but still wanted to meet and talk on the phone. They provide a little financial support, though, with only a reasonable amount of strings attached.

This kind of family relationships probably contribute to my loneliness, but I am so used to it that I just concentrate on the lack of close friends.

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1andonly1 said:

I lost my dog exactly 2 months ago yesterday and having her probably saved my life over the past 14 years. She's the only being that breathed new life into me and gave me a reason to smile everyday.

It doesn't seem fair that she (and other dogs) have such a short lifespan.

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So sorry for your dog! Yes, 14 years is not long, yet it is sometimes for a dog. I hope that you feel like looking for another one soon, another dog needs your love

1andonly1 said:

I lost my dog exactly 2 months ago yesterday and having her probably saved my life over the past 14 years. She's the only being that breathed new life into me and gave me a reason to smile everyday.

It doesn't seem fair that she (and other dogs) have such a short lifespan.

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Very sorry for your loss

That's the most awful part of having a dog, isn't it. Knowing that they will only be around for the shortest of times-yet we still take them on knowing full well at the end of their time with us it will cause us such heartache, & the reason we do it is because in the short years they are with us they provide us with such amazing love & affection.

As someone else whom has been in a place where having the love of a dog was pretty much all that kept me alive for a period of time I know how much they can do for us, & how special they are.

I've often wished that it could be the other way around....that we could go through the pain & heartbreak part first, & then once we've done our time(so to speak) we could have them with us forevermore, unfortunately it can't be like that.

Someone I know recently lost a dog, & another friend sent them this-it made me cry(even though it's been 10 years since I lost the last of my previous dogs & I now have Flay with me) but it helped too, I know it also helped my friend & I hope that it might help you even just a little.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.