Looking for a Place to Breathe for a Few Months

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AmeNoKo

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Aug 19, 2014
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Hello everyone. I'm 24, a relatively longtime lurker, and am starting a profile here because I'm just so dang tired of not talking to anybody.

I'm not too much of a headcase or anything, but I've lived an agoraphobic life for a while, and had a spell for a few years of just chain-smoking and drinking. Still live at home with mum, had great girlfriends in the past but have now gone years without one, and am just sort-of miserable.

But I'm not really miserable, and I'm not joining this forum a mess. I already cleaned up, accepted where and how I've gone wrong, and have made huge steps to change my life. Quit smoking cigarettes, quit drinking alcohol, and quit some other things I'd used to validate what was my destructive existance. I'm 24 and without a degree, but this January I'll be graduating from my Community College and will immediately be going away to a 4 year University afterwards. And that's my 'big change,' what I need to get everything together; I'm just so embarrassed about myself living with my mother, and I've so many regrets in this town that I've been born, raised and living in for 24 years--- I just need to get away. I need Independence, certainly, but I really just want to wipe my hands clean of this place that reminds me of so many nightmares and regrets and just take control of my life with a fresh, infinite beginning.

And I'm doing it. I'm Dean's List 4 semesters now, and like I said I cleaned up my act completely--- but I'm still agoraphobic. I'm still paralyzed when I see people I went to school with, and I'm completely without interest to go mingle in bars and looks for girls when there's just no way I could either invite them back to my mom's house, or tell them about who I am currently as a man. I'm just too ashamed.

But 5 months--- ! 5 months, and I get to reboot this life, spared of titles, and capable of weilding the fruits of all that I've done to better myself and pull myself from the rut. I can talk to real-life people then, and it will be nice---

But not now. Now, I'm here, because I'm so tired of spending night after night completely and totally alone.

So hello everyone! I will be polite towards you, and I hope you are the same towards me.
 
Hey AmeNoKo, welcome to the forum. Hope you'll find what you're looking for here. :)
 
Congratulations on changing your life for the better and good luck with everything. Welcome! :)
 

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