Feeling left out, excluded...

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T

thelonegamer

Guest
I feel exactly what I wrote up there.
Everyone out there is having fun and doing things, but not me. I fail every time I try to gather a social encounter. The only time it works is when I'm paying stuff.
It's like people monitor me. It's like they wait for me to leave the room to glow all that social fun. But not until I leave. It's like everyone else are better off without me, as if I didn't existed I wouldn't make any difference.
I always have to prove myself to others in order to gain some sort of...let's say attention or recognition.
*here comes the awkward part of it* Every one in this forum gets someone to interact with because they find them interesting and not because they've been begging for it for a long time. Not exactly everyone but you get the point.
I seriously don't know what is wrong. I am like the smartest person around in many but not all terms of the word, I'm like in the top 15 let's say handsomest dudes in the whole town, I don't listen to crap, I read, I watch awesome stuff, constructive stuff, I don't talk about people nor events but of ideas, I write, speak, pronounce 99 percent gramatically correct in both English and Portuguese.
What is the matter with me? Maybe it's because I'm an hypocrite and false and not integral.
But almost everyone is hypocrite and false and not integral but yet they have almost everything and I have nothing.
Every day is a battle. I have come to a point where nothing makes sense anymore, maybe that's when someone starts to become maniac and starts talking to themselves in public.
Maybe I am just nuts and everyone else is normal.
I've always been/felt excluded, ever since I was a kid. And all my actions from then has been motivated because of that feeling. I remember when I was 5 or 6, I'd wake up at midnight and stare at the moon thinking and thinking the exact same way you think now, not as a normal 5-year-old, and I'd think like 'when I grow up, this and that' and some of the stuff I've thought actually happened.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm not normal.
This whole text makes no sense to no one. If it does to you then that's awesome


I feel the urge to write and write about how I feel. But I can't. It'd be just a long ass text from a deppressed teenager in the midst of the chaos in the internet.
I feel lonely, not alone. But yet who cares?
 
No, i don't believe you are nuts. I've experienced first hand that placing yourself on a pedestal and thinking you're better than everyone else tends to put people off. At this moment of my life i do not believe that there is a set way that people should be living their lives. No written or unwritten rules that say one has to be this or that in order to be living the right way of life.

Like how you just attacked me in your quotes thread. I understand - or think i do - why you did that, however, that was just my sense of humour. I wasn't making fun of anyone or anything. The point i'm trying to make here is that a judgement can be wrong, too, and that doing so can and probably will put people off.

I believe that life does not yield to the grammatically correct, or to people who only talk about ideas. I believe life will yield to people who have love in their hearts. Love for themselves, and love for their fellow human beings, love towards everyone and everything.

I wish you the best of luck, and feel free to message me if you want to ask something or talk about something. :)
 
thelonegamer said:
I feel exactly what I wrote up there.
Everyone out there is having fun and doing things, but not me. I fail every time I try to gather a social encounter. The only time it works is when I'm paying stuff.
It's like people monitor me. It's like they wait for me to leave the room to glow all that social fun. But not until I leave. It's like everyone else are better off without me, as if I didn't existed I wouldn't make any difference.
I always have to prove myself to others in order to gain some sort of...let's say attention or recognition.
*here comes the awkward part of it* Every one in this forum gets someone to interact with because they find them interesting and not because they've been begging for it for a long time. Not exactly everyone but you get the point.
I seriously don't know what is wrong. I am like the smartest person around in many but not all terms of the word, I'm like in the top 15 let's say handsomest dudes in the whole town, I don't listen to crap, I read, I watch awesome stuff, constructive stuff, I don't talk about people nor events but of ideas, I write, speak, pronounce 99 percent gramatically correct in both English and Portuguese.
What is the matter with me? Maybe it's because I'm an hypocrite and false and not integral.
But almost everyone is hypocrite and false and not integral but yet they have almost everything and I have nothing.
Every day is a battle. I have come to a point where nothing makes sense anymore, maybe that's when someone starts to become maniac and starts talking to themselves in public.
Maybe I am just nuts and everyone else is normal.
I've always been/felt excluded, ever since I was a kid. And all my actions from then has been motivated because of that feeling. I remember when I was 5 or 6, I'd wake up at midnight and stare at the moon thinking and thinking the exact same way you think now, not as a normal 5-year-old, and I'd think like 'when I grow up, this and that' and some of the stuff I've thought actually happened.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm not normal.
This whole text makes no sense to no one. If it does to you then that's awesome


I feel the urge to write and write about how I feel. But I can't. It'd be just a long ass text from a deppressed teenager in the midst of the chaos in the internet.
I feel lonely, not alone. But yet who cares?



I commend you for not conforming to a way of life that other people view as normal. I think it is important to be ourselves and not let others influence you. I belong to an online community that supports positive living and welcomes people to share their life experiences with other members on the site. I would love for you to check out the site, I think you would like it. The website is *link removed*
 
I feel stupid right now. It's the second time in 36 hours that I've attacked someone like that.
I apologise, Rosebolt.
That's not really what my problem is, detroit123. I can and I do live positively every day, at least on the outside. But I'm rotting inside.
I will become a watcher. I'm exhausted of trying and getting turn down. No one will ever see things the way I want them to see, but I'm always subjected to see things the way others see.
I always mentioned in my previous threads that I'd cease social interaction and sht. Well, I didn't. I had hope someone would eventually get it. That hope's gone now.
I'll shut up and say less than I know. I'm doomed to watch and stand with no influence as the world collapses in chaos.
Another thing Rosebolt, everything has to do about ideas. Not necessarily world changing, but to talk about things that truly matter instead of wasting years of life complaining on how Kim Kardashian is a btch, or on how wasted Lil Wayne was last night.
People overvalue stupid things and undervalue the most important in the world. Trust me, in the next generations, truth, honesty, loyalty and integrity will be the most expensive assets.
You now have the permission to call me nuts
 

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