My life s*cks

Hello guys. I'm from Indonesia and this is a story of my pathetic life from junior high school unitl now (senior high school). Not really a nice one though
So here it is...
In junior high school until now i'm always the quiet one. It's not like i can help it. Whenever i speak, it's always not clear at the end of the sentence. I don't know why it happens but if you know what makes that happens please tell me because it's really annoying . Because of this, i don't have any close friend. I got ridiculed too. It's because i'm slow at everything.. Slow response, slow learner, etc. I'm even not good at Soccer that all of my friends like. I have a few of white hair too (main reason i got ridiculed at) All of that really hurts me.. I got ridiculed for 3 years of my junior high school. And then senior high school comes. I'm so happy that i won't got ridiculed again. I thought it would be different, i thought i will be really socialable. And... I was wrong.
My senior high school first year is right now. And why i post this story of mine is because i'm really tired of this. I fking got ridiculed again, because i'm so stupid. I can't play soccer, i'm a slow learner, i'm not good at speaking, i'm ugly, i got white hair.. All of that is the reason they make fun of me. Haha... My senior high school is ruined now.. 3 years of this? I can't... Seriously, this will be hard. Everyday after school i got worried and think "what if they make fun of me again" or "tomorrow is P.E. , what if i got ridiculed again because i s*cks?" And many more of that.maybe it's what they called social anxiety disorder? Lol. I'm so done. I'm so pathetic...
Well that's my story (rant?) about my pathetic life. Sorry if my English s*cks

Welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear you have these people giving you a hard time. Try to rise above it, it's not worth letting people get to you.

It doesn't matter how fast or how slow you learn. The only thing that matters is that you keep trying and find something that works for you. So, don't give up, try new ways to get to the same place.

People can be mean, but words can only hurt you if you let them. Do your friends ridicule you? If they don't, I wouldn't worry about what other people say, because they don't really matter in the long run. The only people that really matter are those that care about you.

That probably isn't exactly what you want to hear, but it's true. It's only 3 more years, you can do it and you can find a way that works for you. If you want to play soccer, keep practicing and you will get better. Good luck and welcome to the forum

High school was the worst 5 years of my life...I didn't fit in because I was shy and angry most of the time, I didn't want to be bothered by anyone so I was mocked a lot too. I wore my hair in a different style, very short and spiky...which was considered "punk" during my high school days and I went to a snobby rich private school for girls and they all had neat blonde hair...didn't fit in at all lol...but I was considered poor as well, since I was there on a scholarship, so I was mocked for that too. A lot of kids are mean to others, they'll find anything and make it into an insult or a weakness unfortunately. It definitely made me tired of going to school...I had just a few friends and I tried to ignore everyone else around me. I tried to develop a mindframe that the ones mocking were the inferior ones, that helped me get through it at times too. I wouldn't want to go back and I wish you courage, it's tough.

Thanks everyone! I'll try to not let them get to me. It's just that i'm a sensitive person and an overthinker. Whenever i got ridiculed, i let it gets to me and then i think it over and over again for a long time. And yeah, the one who ridiculed me is my friends.

I left school at 15 years old and I went back at 20 years old. Now I'm 22 years old and I'm in my 1st year of college. Yes it was tough going to high school before I left, but when I went back to senior school to finish it, I was more social and mature, so it is a lot easier. I don't really recommend you to leave school, but it worked for me, and now I have more experience and I'm wiser than other kid in college. It gives me an advantage.

You should really not care about people. It is what I've done, and it worked. I wasn't talking to anyone, I was doing my duty, and I've ended by being the most smarter guy in the school. They called me a machine because I was learning freaking fast and easy. But the truth is, I just worked very hard. I won a trophy of exceptionnel student, plus a scholarship of 750$ and my name is written on a tablet. After that, they started to respect me a lot more and started to talk to me like if I was one of them.

I always believed that 5% of people liked high school and the other 95% hated it. The ones that are popular at that time usually the ones that look back on high school fondly. I have seen those I went to high school that were popular and treated those who werent like crap grow up and change, some years back there was a forum for the town I went to high school in, a guy posted on there that was treated very bad in HS, one of the popular girls also posted on there as well, one day I noticed a post from the girl now a woman telling him how sorry she was how her and the others treated him and how wrong it was. That showed me that people do wise up after high school.